Jam Puns

I’ve never jelly’d my finger in a door before

It still amazes me how they get the jars that big.

We’re sat in traffic and the car in front has a “watch for motorbikes” bumper sticker on it.

Me: hmmmm watch for motorbikes Wife: suspicious head turn Me: must be one hell of an expensive watch Wife: sigh

I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!

It was jarring

Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.

Open a nearby door so you can stick it in ajar.

You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film

One day she left me saying you deserve butter.

Because it's so hard to get it in the jar.

Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.

...from the fruits of our labor

I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.

With a traffic fruit.

They always line up for it.

Bummer to bummer traffic

They seemed to enjoy my wedding toast.

Traffic jam

I told her, “It doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.”

Jam packed

JAMMIT!

Cons-serve

This is disconcerting news.

But seriously:

• Bruce Springsteen statement
• Pearl Jam press release
• Article about Ringo Starr cancellation

I excel at it

So I can respond “if I was Eddie Vedder, I’d be you”

But after that, it doesn’t get Eddie Vedder.

Traffic

I can't jelly my foot up your ass.