I asked my crush to pass me a chair

Cuz I was falling hard for him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/animey04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When your crush walks in your class

But you're homeschooled

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joker6983
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the Mountain do? Why is seven up? What did the orange crush?

Just a few Pop jokes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j0hnk50
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I think I have a crush on BeyoncΓ©.

Her: Whatever floats your boat.

Me: No. That’s buoyancy.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a crush on my science lab partner, then she left the school

I lost My Chemical Romance

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter: Dad, I have a crush on The Rock

Dad: Keep at it! You will eventually wind up with a diamond !

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I have a crush on BeyoncΓ©. She said: whatever floats your boat...

I told her: no, that’s buoyancy.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Can you guys come up with a pun using my crush’s name?

Her name is Amelia can you guys help me out?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Noib79815
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate.

And we’ve been married more than 27 years!

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Agonda12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I always yield to vehicles that look like they could crush my car. They have the right of weigh.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexferrick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My crush asked what my type was

I told her AB positive

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Natan-Cake
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my crush out

She said I was living in a Fanta-sy

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_mythx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I confessed to my crush.

my soda is still not saying something

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jkwon6227
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
People love to crush soda cans

It’s soda-pressing

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MalojiBro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
You know, if you can't marry your crush.

Then Merry Christmas.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
People who crush cans for a living

Are soda pressing

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iwrestledmeonce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I once had crush on a pastry chef

Turns out she didn’t have any fillings for me

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Friend: I hate my job, all I do is crush cans.

Me: wow, that's soda pressing

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_-Ruin-_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I was never able to ask my crush out on high school because I was math nerd

I guess I was 2Β² to ask her out

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hasdf22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
So I texted my crush and asked her, β€œAre you an ancient artifact,”

β€œBecause I want to date you.”

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Best_Bean
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Probability had crush on one girl, but she wasn't the one.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nicestuffzzcd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
3 years ago I asked my crush out, today I asked her to marry me

She said no both times

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shutdownbyanxiety
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Crush
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sossarah
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the recycling facility because they were making me crush cans all day long.

It was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my towel has a crush on me because whenever I rub it on me it gets wet
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a bike say to its crush?

I wheelie like you.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blazingsword09
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My crush died today

Now I can finally call her my boo

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myshittyposts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t always present in front of my crush, but when I do I use
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthew93097
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I've never really had an obsessive celebrity crush,

but after watching Pirates of the Caribbean I find myself thinking of Keira Knightley.

Credit to Steve, a real person.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebignate08
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When you are high on weed and you wanna get laid with your crush Mary... How would you propose

marijuana do it ?.... Haha lol for those of you who geddit

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
When you see your crush in the hallway
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aTroubledGuy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
So a teen asks his crush to the prom, which she agrees to

On the day of the prom, he goes to pick up his suit. However, once he gets there, there’s a line, so he waits....and waits...and waits...

After he gets his suit, he goes to get her corsage. When he gets to the flower shop, however, there’s an even bigger line, so he waits...and he waits...and he waits...

Once he had the corsages, he made his way to her house, but the roads were packed so he had to wait in line for the turnoff. So he waited...and waited.

Finally, he reaches her house, picks her up, and drives her to prom. But there’s a line to get into the school, so they wait... and wait...

At last, they are in the prom and dancing away. After a while, they get thirsty. So they head for the refreshment table and.....

There’s no punch line

πŸ‘︎ 354
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strikercharge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I crush soft drink cans for a living

It's soda pressing

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captm_obvious
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Who do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have a crush on?

April, you fools.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nf22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
No homo but I got a crush on u
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzy_kills27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My crush is a dental student,

but she doesn't have fillings for me.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rishyche
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty sure a deaf person has a crush on me reddit.com/r/teenagers/co…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatyatesboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Valentine's Day with my Crush imgur.com/gallery/ffhwR
πŸ‘︎ 447
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seehollisrun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I think my daughter has a crush on our pastor.

She talks about him religiously.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Enkage
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty sure a deaf person has a crush on me reddit.com/r/teenagers/co…
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mram_MD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My 7-year-old son, Reese, has a crush called Ella who's moving schools. He wants to know which school she's moving to.

I wonder what Ella meant to Reese..

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Finally, the time has come to trample and crush some clocks

Not on my watch

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jitse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I think a deaf person has a crush on me

She's giving all the right signs

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tester2080
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My teenage son came home upset that his crush is attracted to the new foreign exchange student at school

So I went to the drug store and bought him the best Axe Scent money can buy!

πŸ‘︎ 180
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBuck_413
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Daughter's new crush

This just happened.

Daughter: I like this new boy DeAntrΓ©!

Mom: I can use DeantrΓ© in a sentence....

Would you like a drink with De-antrΓ©?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zackprice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
🚨︎ report
It's called a crush because he/she will CRUSH your heart.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1-STARrating
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
If I’m out in space, and I crush up fruits, vegetables, berries etc to be thrown into the galaxy, would that be considered a space jam? reddit.com/r/teenagers/co…
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theangelsspark
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you call somebody who's waiting for winter to crush their enemy?
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AutisticSombrero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Lesbian Crush

A while back there was this lesbian who had a crush on me, and my boyfriend, being the loveable asshole he is, says "she's obviously just not thinking straight"... He was completely unaware so I responded with one word: "Exactly." He had never been more proud.

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fknfkfk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
🚨︎ report
A crush hinted that I should bring flowers to our date.

Me: "I'll make arrangements"

Edit: Wow, damn! You guys really liked this one! I aim to please :)

πŸ‘︎ 198
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CourageousBeard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2015
🚨︎ report
I feel so sorry for the guy who's job it is to crush cans because...

It's soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clickclickonsal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I think I have a crush on the new MRI machine at the hospital.

I find it very attractive.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hipster_Nipples
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife's celebrity crush is Colin Firth...

...I said, "What about Colin Thecond?"

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rabidmilkman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
How did the hot dog ask out his crush?

He mustard up the courage!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JetSpeedman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm going to crush and preserve some strawberries with the Red Hot Chili Peppers later on today...

We're having a jam session.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
🚨︎ report
So I'm at school with my crush...

Culinary school, that is. Our chef tells her she needs to shred some cheese for the sandwiches we were making. So as she's walking over to get the tool she needs, I tell her,

"You'd better do a grate job."

I think those rolling eyes mean she's finally starting to like me back.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSpectre69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Way to crush my dreams, dad.

Dad: What do you want to be when you grow up? The sky's the limit!

5-Year-Old Me: An astronaut!

Dad: I said the sky's the limit!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EricksA2
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Lesbian Crush

A while back there was this lesbian who had a crush on me, and my boyfriend, being the loveable asshole he is, says "she's obviously just not thinking straight"... He was completely unaware so I responded with one word: "Exactly." He had never been more proud.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fknfkfk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.