... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
the end result was soda-pressing.
I always get the butt
I think it's an inpasta
You are being Sejuiced
You butternut squash me.
...I'm allergic to onomatopoetic food.
Witness accounts say he was gourd to death.
Me: "Really? you'll probably be gourd out of your mind"
Nothing, it just let out a little wine
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
It shall be a security gourd
Talk about squashing some beef
Sorry to squash your enthusiasm
...so I told her that her mom saw a few hairs fall out of her head and freaked out.
My daughter responds, completely deadpan, "mom had rabbits falling out of her head?"
She's going to be a great dad one day.
Edit: skipped a word
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
He was a squash-buckler
It's like I never knew herbivore.
He kept dropping sick beets.
It got squashed.
Fiancee: Let's see: summer squash...
Me: ...and some aren't!
So I said "You butternut squash it!"
And they still wouldn't send me home
Long post is long:
Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!
Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.
Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!
Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!
Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...
Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.
Her: Thyme is running out...
Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!
Her: Aim for Potato Garden!
Me:... keep reading on reddit ➡
Her: Aww, someone ran over a pumpkin
Me: Looks like there were trying to make a squash.
Her: I hate you.
Girlfriend: They have good butternut squash soup here. Me: Oh yeah? Is it better than mine? Girlfriend: Nope. Me: It butternut be!
Ma: "cake must of got a bit squashed walking around town earlier." Dad: "What's a cake doing walking around town?"
He then proceeded to walk away laughing to himself while we all sighed .
Just as a bit of background I work in the produce department stacking vegetables and such at a chain grocery store.
Today I was fixing up a display and dropped a squash onto the ground. Before I could bend over to get it a customer walked by and grabbed it and put it in her bag. I told her that she could have a different one if she wanted because it may have been damaged. But instead she walked away and turned to said "This one is already squashed so I guess it doesn't matter" and then laughed at her joke while continuing on, leaving me standing there, squash in hand wondering what just happened.
We've been trying to eat healthier so we got a bunch of fresh produce at the store. I put some squash in the front of the basket where the coupons were and my wife said, "Oh man, you squashed my coupons."
http://imgur.com/DspBxfM "I don't want to kale the mood, but sadly, my tomatoes didn't ketchup to yours. I think they bean squashed. Lettuce cue cumbersome thoughts so we can build courgettes! Bury them so they carrot in the ground: tuber or not to be, that is the question!"
My wife was ringing up a purchase at a craft store where the customer had purchased many fake pumpkins and other assorted decorative fruits for fall. As the customer unloaded her cart, the gourds kept piling higher, and my wife exclaimed, "I'm feeling a bit squashed!"
Sitting down to dinner:
Me: "Mom, what is this?"
Mom: "It's meatloaf, squash, and peas."
Dad (on cue): "You know what they say: there's nothing like a good pea."
Mom (rolling eyes, frowning): "Oh, Bob...."
Got me every. time.