I work at Walmart and found a bunch of zucchini in with the hamburger.

Talk about squashing some beef

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👤︎ u/JeffUhl
📅︎ Jan 20 2020
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My kid asked me what a zucchini is.

I told him it is swimwear for an animal.

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👤︎ u/yismeicha
📅︎ Feb 25 2018
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In some countries it's called a Zucchini in other countries it's called a Courgette....

....but my Dad always called them "Widows Delights!"

....every....fucking....time.

Followed by "Hey? Hey? Heh?...." until someone acknowledged the joke.

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👤︎ u/rodmunch99
📅︎ Sep 20 2013
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What's a Jawas favorite vegetable?

Zucchini

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📅︎ Feb 15 2019
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What looks like a cucumber, feels like a cucumber, but doesn't taste like a cucumber?

A zucchini

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👤︎ u/Yodazon
📅︎ Aug 29 2018
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This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.

**Her:

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Zokoro
📅︎ Apr 02 2017
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Where do the vegetable animals live?

Cutting up veggies for my daughters, I asked: Where do vegetables go to visit the vegetable animals?

...

The zucchini!

They didn't laugh

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👤︎ u/nerd_of_gods
📅︎ Apr 08 2015
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My hibachi chef hit me with this one tonight

You know why im putting zucchini in with your vegetables?

...because its really hard to catch wild chini, so we buy the chini from the "zu"

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👤︎ u/_marther_
📅︎ Jan 29 2016
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Girlfriend said she bought a bikini from the zoo.

Told her we had enough zucchinis already.

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👤︎ u/codyrowanvfx
📅︎ Aug 08 2016
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All out of Agus

Had some food from the grill tonight, including grilled veggies.

Wife asked me to hand her the plate with the veggies for seconds. I told her there was some spare zucchini, but we didn't have a spare agus.

All around the table there were groans, except my step dad who thought it was hilarious.

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👤︎ u/ThatMitchJ
📅︎ May 25 2014
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