Went to the grocery store and asked for 3 pounds of potatoes. "We don't have pounds", the grocer stated, "only kilos".
Annoyed, I went, "fine. I'll take 3 pounds of kilos then".
Why do Canadian geese go well with mashed potatoes?
Because they make nice gray-V's.
This summer when I dug potatoes from my garden, they all were shaped like a letter from the alphabet...
How do you scare potatoes?
Do you like potatoes?
Because I find them very a-peeling.
My wife's an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes...
She made a right hash of it.
What do you call a potato that copies all the other potatoes?
How are Potatoes paid for their work?
What do you call a man with gravy and potatoes on his head?
What does potatoes and tomatoes have in common?
What do you call a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia?
Ducks love raw potatoes and will attempt to unearth them with their bill. Enthusiastically mistaking rocks for potatoes can cause damage leaving them...
Who runs the school for potatoes?
I got annoyed because the russet potatoes were announcing everything I did.
Then I realized they’re just common taters.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
What do you call fake potatoes?
(From my 10 year old) What do you call potatoes that have been quarantined?
What do you call potatoes you can’t eat right now?
Cut the potatoes into penis shapes and fill your boat with them. Now you are the captain of a ...
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Why'd the giant octopus eat 2 ships filled with potatoes?
Cuz you can't eat just one potato ship.
Last night I went to my favorite restaurant. They only sell food made from Slutty Potatoes
Their best dish is the Tater-Thots.
Are you the guy who stole all the sweet potatoes?
Why did the submarine captain keep a barrel of potatoes in his room?
There was nothing in the world he loved more than eyes.
Cooking a roast chicken in the oven but the potatoes aren't ready
They needed another ten minutes
My mum commented" That won't do the chicken any harm"
I responded with...
"It's already dead"
What's a potatoes favorite day?
What do you call a potato that bullies all the other potatoes?
My six month old just started eating sweet potatoes
He likes it because it's yammy.
I was asked to prep the turkey, season the gravy and potatoes...
I don't think I have Thyme for all that!
What do you call Buddhist potatoes?
Her: Why are the potatoes burnt? Me: That’s for tomorrow.
Her: Huh?
Me: Tomorrow is Black Fry day.
What Do You Call Slutty Potatoes?
What do potatoes do when they're depressed?
They should make potato chips out of genetically engineered potatoes.
They could call them CRISPRs
I asked my dad if he could fry some potatoes, flour, and egg in a shallow patty for me...
He said that's a latke ask for!
What do you call a marionette made of potatoes?
I like my PG-13 movies how I like my mashed potatoes.
With not a lot of skin, just a little.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman
Are you enjoying your sweet potatoes this Thanksgiving?
Not sure if this fits here, is funny or has the sciencing right, but here goes... What do you get if you combine Uranium-235 and potatoes?
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes...
Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
What do you call fake potatoes?
What do you call fake potatoes?
What do you call fake potatoes?
What do you call fake potatoes?
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