What's the difference between boogers and spinach?

Kids don't eat spinach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/het_bob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Puppy got a piece of spinach

Wife instructs her: "leaf it!"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nervoussystem66
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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If the whole world goes vegan..

No one will expect the Spinach Inquisition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Yesterday, I was bagging my customer's groceries...

When I asked, "Is it okay if I bag the box of spinach with the toothpaste?" She then asked, "Sure, does it matter?"

I then replied, "No, I'm just worried your spinach might turn into mint."

She didn't get the joke, but her husband did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzaslayer24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
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I was at an Indian restaurant and I asked about the appetizers.

The server said that was a naan starter.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
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Dad asked me what I had for lunch.

Me: Spinach pizza.

Dad: OlΓ©!

Me: ?

Dad: I took spinach in high school.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moakus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
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This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.


... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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Egg on the pan, egg on the plate

I (husband) am good at making egg dishes for breakfast. Me and the wifey were talking about the first time I met her family, when I made them an omelette with goat cheese and spinach. They were all very impressed.

Wifey: "My parents never cooked like that when I was growing up. For them, it was just egg on the pan, egg on the plate."

Me: "I can see how that would be unpleasant, especially if they didn't crack the shells first."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fudgebert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Bilingual Dad-joked my girlfriend.

My girlfriend speaks french, so I knew she'd get my joke.

Anyways, we were eating breakfast and she was talking about liking spinach for its iron content. I said "That's fer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Vetis_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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My mom caught the dadjoke bug

Me: I bought the baby spinach

Mom: Make sure you eat it today before it grows and becomes adult spinach!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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