Funny Spinach Puns

This is a mod by WeeaboTrash that makes ur character bigger the more of the spinach you get. I dont know how to contact him but this was a funny bug but was very unplayable. Had to scrap the desk plant but then blazing parent killed me two seconds later lel

We get, you like the spinach. Can we just remove it so its not staring us in the face every time i login.

Dear Reddit,

Okay, so I've been wondering about this for years and I'm asking if anyone else experiences this. Eating spinach makes me feel like there's something on my teeth. This sensation makes it unpleasant to move them against each other, like there's a slightly sticky or thin tacky film on them. Any food experts are welcome to comment as well as any others that share this experience.

What causes it? How best to get rid of it?

Thanks!

Popeye is put into the dragon ball universe and wants to show everyone he is the toughest guy around. In order to do this popeye must beat every relevant/ known character up. How far does Popeye go and who is the strongest character he could take out?

Round 1- popeye gets toonforce

Round 2- Popeye still has toonforce but he no longer has his godlike healing and can take damage normally

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I know the title sounds weird, but bear with me!

Last night I had a crazy dream. In it, I had a male best friend who meant EVERYTHING to me, and he was getting married. His bride was beautiful, funny, rich, confident, etc. and they seemed incredibly happy together. They had their wedding and then left to go on their honeymoon.

I was happy for them, but also incredibly heartbroken. This man meant so much to me. I was sobbing and trying to explain to another friend that he was the only person in the world who made me laugh, who cared about me, who was genuine and loving... "He's perfect."

And then I woke up. And the haze lifted and I realized that the mystery best friend was my husband! It's crazy how your brain can make you completely forget someone for a brief moment in time. I have children with this man, and he was laying right next to me! Lol

We have a healthy, loving relationship. We never fight, always find ways to support each other, parent together in harmony, cuddle and love each other all day, etc. But I've been depressed and anxious lately. I haven't been eating well, I've gained 15 pounds in the last few months, and I'm having a hard time staying positive. When you have a relationship as tight as ours, individual struggles become your partner's struggles too. And he deserves better.

So I want to be my husband's wife from my dream. I want to start eating healthier, dressing nicer, speaking more positively, and acting more confident. I've started putting together a meal plan and exercise routine to help me get back on track. I'm going to curate my Reddit feed and set time limits on app use. I'm going to limit sugar and alcohol, do my hair, limit caffeine. I know I can do this because I've done it before.

Hopefully in a few months, I have a dream where we're celebrating our honeymoon. 😁

Edit: Wow, this blew up!!! Thank you everyone for the support. I'm so glad to see that this has inspired so many people to start looking at their relationships and themselves. I want to be clear that this post isn't so much about physical appearances as it is my mental health. My eating habits and clothing choices have been a direct result of not caring about myself because of my depression. That's what I want to change.

I also want to say that I'm 99% sure this dream was inspired by how my husband is making his own changes. He's been a stay-at-home dad for 4 years now and during this time he's been so committed to our kiddos that he hasn't done anything f

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Disclaimer: If the numbers are off, I am not hiding anything- I probably did not math the math right. I barely made it out of my introduction to accounting college course alive.

Section One: Assets and Debt Use

Retirement Balance:

Savings Account Balance: $12,000

Checking Account Balance: $2,128.99

*My savings withdrawal hasn’t gone through it so it would really be $1,532.88

Credit card debt: $0

*This is paid off in full either the day it’s due or around the time I get paid. My goal is that I want to make sure that I spend what I can afford to have, now or in the future.

Student Loan Debt: $10,579.95 for a bachelor’s of science in multimedia journalism with a minor in creative writing. I went to a public college in a college town that was basically the country. I probably spent the most money on housing.

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 3 years, I started working for free and then worked up to probably $10, $11, $12, and $15 an hour. Some of my payments were lumped together too.

My starting salary at my job was $35k and I had a raise to $40k.

I have worked in freelance journalism, public relations, and digital marketing. My main focus is writing, but I have done some dabbling in photography for some brands in the past.

Main Job Monthly Take Home: $2,267.72

SIMPLE IRA Contribution: $100.02

*Also don’t know the math, sorry. I can’t pretend! I put down 3%, which is the matching number for my company.

Dental and Vision Insurance: $20.34 for two weeks

*My paycheck varies between the two weeks. This is my first one so I kept the original number as is for accuracy.

Medicare: $23.87

*My paycheck varies between the two weeks. This is my first one so I kept the original number as is for accuracy.

Social Security: $102.09

*My paycheck varies between the two weeks. This is my first one so I kept the original number as is for accuracy.

Federal Withholding: $118

*My paycheck varies between the two weeks. This is my first one so I kept the original number as is for accuracy.

State Withholding: $65.21

*My paycheck varies between the two weeks. This is my first one so I kept the original number as is for accuracy.

Side Gig Monthly Take Home: None. I have discussed this briefly at work, but have held off. I enjoy working at my company and would not want to risk my relationship with them. Also why would I want more work after work?

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!