8 Hilarious Chard Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Over quarantine I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.

I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!

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👤︎ u/woodiegutheryghost

📅︎ Nov 09 2020

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I've fallen on chard times.

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👤︎ u/Fifirella

📅︎ Mar 31 2020

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Why did Christopher Columbus pull a bunch of Swiss chard out of the ocean?

He wanted to be in uncharded waters.

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👤︎ u/gecko_echo

📅︎ May 28 2020

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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Éclair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

Lémon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy Soufflé Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con Gruyére

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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👤︎ u/kat_fogg

📅︎ Jan 15 2019

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Ugh, I burnt my sauteed bok choy...

Now it's chard.

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👤︎ u/JakeJakeKellyKelly

📅︎ Nov 16 2018

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What do you call a plant that is cooked too much in a European country?

Swiss charred Swiss chard

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👤︎ u/johnnysmart

📅︎ Feb 13 2017

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Grandad joke in the car.

So my grandad came over to visit recently and my dad asked him what his favourite pub in the area was. He answered "Oh I can't remember the name. It's the one where you go towards Chard and turn left by the Feathers and keep going down that road until you see it on your right."

I know the area pretty well but there is no place I know of called 'The Feathers' so I asked him "Where's the feathers?"

He replied "Around the duck's bottom."

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👤︎ u/FluffyGreenMonster

📅︎ Sep 03 2015

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Another good dinnertime dad joke

As I was eating dinner with my dad, he goes to put some pasta in the microwave with few oregano leaves on the top. I saw this and asked, "Is that okay to microwave raw oregano? I hope it doesn't turn out like kale." (For the few of you who have tried microwaving kale like me, you'll know that it sparks, smokes, and eventually catches fire.)

My dad responded with, "Yeah I hope it doesn't turn out like the kale, because then it will be chard."

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👤︎ u/right_in_two

📅︎ Feb 25 2014

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