Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?

He got caught picking his nose!

πŸ‘︎ 392
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is booze better than carrots?

Carrots maybe good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's invisible and smells like carrots

Bunny farts

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.

It’s Coleslaw

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Say what you want about carrot top, but fact of the matter is he’s out there making a living as a comedian

You gotta give him props for that

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jvilly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I got my wife an 18 carrot necklace.

It was not only easy on the eyes, but it was also good for the eyes, too.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend always brags about hot beautiful his radishes and carrots are...

He digs roots.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.

Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."

πŸ‘︎ 129
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeBigHuge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t carrot all
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizartti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.

The doctor said: β€œI can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A carrot, some corn and a cucumber fell into the ocean

Now they're all C foods

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
That's a big carrot
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redlightningwolf
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a cabbage, carrot and corn stir-fry tonight! The recipe called for tilipia, but I put in pork. I realize now that I should have put in chicken, though...

...it's supposed to be a C-food stir-fry.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmcduff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a carrot with a radish?

Cash

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordkauth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Snowballs differentiating snow-man from snow-woman.. But the kid didn't carrot all!
πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stha118
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Got some 24 carrot gold right here 😎
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ellaAir
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the carrot sad?

Because it wasn't a pea

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pi55p00r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
He doesn't carrot all
πŸ‘︎ 402
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/euanwmcgill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The Grim Reaper appeared in beside me when I was chopping up some carrots in my kitchen.

He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me. Very scary when you are dicing with death.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the carrot say when his wife caught him in bed with a cucumber?

Seems I’ve found myself in a bit of a pickle.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaw-Deez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?

Beets me

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DCCXXVIII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't carrot all if you don't like it...
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A carrot went to a football game.

Wonder who it was rooting for.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently if you buy cabbage from coles supermarkets you are legally obligated to buy carrots and mayonnaise

They call it, Coles law

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StarvedAsian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Downvote if you want, I don't carrot all
πŸ‘︎ 563
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the carrot on a snowman’s corpse?

No-body nose

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/apk5005
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a carrot with 4 sides?

A square root

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13thPlayer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
"Carrots are good for your eyes"

I don't think I've ever tried putting them in my eyes...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JFedererJ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
No carrot required
πŸ‘︎ 137
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jess-the-mess
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My roommates always hate on my puns but I don’t carrot all.
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/okidokismokee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. β€œWhat’s wrong with me doc?” He asks ...

β€œIt’s easy, you just not eating properly” the doctors replies.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
It's good to see people that carrot about world peas.It might seem corny, but to achieve world peas we have to beet the bad guys.
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an apathetic carrot?

I don’t carrot.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ormond_villain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're sad and no one seems to carrot all
πŸ‘︎ 614
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keelzyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
🚨︎ report
The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the Mayo.

That’s Cole’s Law.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.

It's a deeply rooted issue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
"This giant carrot made my day but it made my coworker’s hole weak."
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the snowman rooting around in a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Carrots may improve your eyes

But booze will double your vision

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kennycrab12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.

The doctor says: β€œI can tell right away that you’re not eating right”

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the snowman going through all the carrots???

He was picking his nose!!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ranman35
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What's invisible and smells like a carrot?

A bunny fart

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
whats invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaketoday
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phillydog1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts πŸ₯•πŸ’¨

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saltcrystal100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s clear and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sandlewoodshire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.