What do you call not much parsley?

Sparsley.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me β€œyou’re wrong about the parsley...

but that’s okay because you’re right on thyme”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisLeePortland
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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This is parsley my fault
πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Continuum_Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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I helped my kid put his caterpillar on a parsley plant

The plant is now parsley consumed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kapitallist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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What is the difference between parsley and pussy?

No one eats the parsley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VivianSpinster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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An older gentleman at Walmart asked if I knew anything about whether parsley farmers got their wages garnished.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LimeRikki
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
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If a parsley farmer is sued...

does that mean they can garnish his wages? -George Carlin

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Believeinthis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2012
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Why does parsley grow so fast?

Because it's always in a race against thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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Whats the main difference between pussie and parsley

Who the hell eats parsley

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edwendscha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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What did rosemary say when sage proposed?

It’s about thyme

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaMole1977
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Policeman taking a witness statement from the waiter after a shooting at a vegan bar..

Policeman: Can you describe the shooter? Waiter: 6 feet, white male, grey shirt and a skirt made of parsley. P: Parsley? W: Yes. It was just a herb he wore.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateralAxes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I fell into a giant seasoning processor

Now I'm parsley disfigured

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and I’m happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.

I was parsley correct.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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What do you call the King of herbs?

Elvis Parsley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What’s the best vegetable to have around when you get a flat tire?

A spare I guess

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Herbal essentials

Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berenaltorin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Apparently I need to spice up my jokes because my friends have heard them all before.

I’m not very oregano.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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What's the name of Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother

Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveTide
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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After years of holding out on me, my friend finally told me the secret ingredient in his cooking.

It was about thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What's green and sings?

Elvis parsley

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I just fell face first in to a pile of herbs..

Now I'm parsley sighted.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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What skill does a herb farmer need to perfect?

Thyme management

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lepantswizzard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
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How do you call a Middle-Earth herb that grows on Rivendell rocks?

>!Elvish Parsley.!<

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bomsusik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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I was eating at a restaurant and a waiter comes up to me and asks: "How did I find the steak?"

I told him I looked underneath the parsley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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I played some music to my food to see what they enjoyed

Their favourite was Elvis parsley

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lucky-Luca22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What are the four seasons?

Spring, Summer, Pumpkin, and Winter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
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Who’s the spice racks favorite musician

Evils Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBigLobster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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What sticks between your teeth and sings?

Elvis parsley.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Server: And how did you find your steak this evening?

Customer: Oh it was easy, I just looked under the parsley

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylea12345
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Why should Simon and Garfunkel rule the World?

Because then at least the Trains would run on Parsley, Sage, Rosemary AND Thyme!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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NEW!! Celebrity Fun in the Pun candle line!

Chris Pine - Pine scented

Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented

Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented

Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented

JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented

Miley Cypress - Cypress scented

Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented

Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented

Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented

Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented

Bread Pitt - Bread scented

Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented

Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented

Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented

Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented

Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented

Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented

Banana Montana - Banana scented

Orange Winfrey - Orange scented

Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented

Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented

Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup o’ joe scented

Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented

Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented

Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented

Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented

Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented

Halle Berry - Mixed scented

Demi Tomato - Tomato scented

Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented

Mandy S’more - S’mores scented

Mackerel-more - Fish scented

Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented

WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented

Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented

John Lemon - Lemon scented

Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented

Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented

Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented

Adille - Dill scented

Kevin Spicy - Taco scented

Channing Potatum - Potato scented

Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented

Danny Burrito - Burrito scented

Michaelanjello - Red jello scented

Harry Panini - Panini scented

Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented

Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented

Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented

Mike Fryson - French fry scented

Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented

Raisin Williams - Raisin scented

Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented

Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented

Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented

Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented

Malt Whitman - Malt scented

(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the β€œI wonder what Chris Pine smells like?” joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. I’m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minnara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Classic Dad

Dad: Whats green and sings?

Me: What?

Dad: Elvis Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BIRDoS
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2013
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"Do you know the name of the only green musician?"

"Elvis Parsley."

Thanks, dad...

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aliciastudio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2017
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What's green, found in the garden and sings rock & roll?

Elvis Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cleatus029
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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Dadjoked my dad at work today

For context we work in a restaurant.

He started to jokingly hit me with a bag of parsley Dad: I'm going to beat you to death with a bag of parsley Me: I'd only be parsley beaten to death

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exedra0711
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
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What is green and sings?

Elvis Parsley!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruone_Delacroix
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What’s green and sings...

Elvis Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dribblzz
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dolcekitten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2015
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Who's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrrhios
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2016
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