Did you know the Italians used to make an all natural fibre from tomato, basil and cheese?

The used it to make short pants called caprese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTayloceraptor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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My kids get confused when I throw whole basil leaves at them this time of year

But as they say, 'tis the season

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I started a garden and the basil is refusing to grow.

It’s being such a pesto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyClay1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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People in cities who grow their own basil, oregano, etc...

Are herb-an farmers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2015
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What did the basil say to the chef?

Stop pesto-ing me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenxnugg
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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So I have a snifter glass of clipped basil leaves on my desk as a piece of decoration...

And my dad looks at it and goes, "It's a small bouquet in every sense of the word! Triple pun, hoo baby!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trepwn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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Basilic Instinct
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Babouche_Chromee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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What did the spice merchant say to his tantrum throwing son?

β€œI’ve got all the thyme in the world.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Things have been a bit tense with my wife, with both of us stuck in quarantine all the time. We even had an argument about herbs the other day.

To be honest, it was about thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whistlepoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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We tried planting some herbs in the back yard.

The basil has done fine, the other died. I turned to my wife and said, β€œwell, there’s no thyme in quarantine!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KeepTheFaith613
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Pun Request

I'm looking for a few spice/herb related puns, specifically:

  • Black Pepper
  • Cinnamon
  • Garlic Powder
  • Paprika
  • Nutmeg
  • Chili Powder
  • Basil
  • Tumeric
  • Onion Powder
  • Curry Powder

Any ideas are appreciated!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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I ran out of time

I was taking a culinary class, and I was working on an assignment. However, I ran out of time so I had to use basil.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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What is the best pasta for pesto sauce?

It depennes on your taste

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaitM8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2017
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The white-tailed deer: forest vermin.

We did not build our garden fence high enough, and deer came in to eat our basil.

They did not return for our garlic, so we felt no need to call pesto control.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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My wife cooked me a great breakfast this morning. She was bragging about it.

After a great steak & eggs + side dishes breakfast...

Wife: Man. I'm so great. Cooking requires more creativity and skill than baking. You're just reading measurements with baking. With baking, all you need is time - a lot of time.

Me: What about basil or rosemary?

Wife: Huh?

Me: Basil or rosemary?

Wife: Huh?

A few seconds later, she gets it, sighs, then laughs. A few more seconds later...

Wife: I can't believe you're still laughing at your own joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/claytondufresne
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.

**Her:

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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My Dad trying to be clever in the Kitchen

My Dad and I were getting dinner ready when I quizzed him on how he seasoned the chicken and gravy mixture he was fawning over.

"Uh I haven't put anything in but the chicken, and the gravy."

"Were you going to season it?"

"Wasn't planning on it." he finished, apparently done with the conversation as his full attention was now on whatever football game was on. I decided if he wasn't going to take the initiative and make our food taste like something other than bland than I would.

"Here Dad put in some garlic," I said as i started grabbing spices from the cabinet.

"Some basil, salt, pepper, thyme... " I didn't see any thyme in here which was too bad because it would be just the thing for this.

"Hey DAD do we have any thyme left?" I asked him a little louder than I had been talking before.

"Time for what?" he asked, finally breaking his attention from the flat screen, a severely confused and almost worrried look cemented on his brow. And then, as quick as a camera lens closing to capture a shot, he winked.

.

.

.

TL;DR I'm pretty sure you have enough thyme to read it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/erydayimredditing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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Pirates are in the playoffs!

Got some awesome home-made pesto from my parents. They'd been at it for a few hours before I got there from work, just in time help pluck the last batch of basil and get some to eat. Tell my sister she should charge my mom $1 an hour for her help in making the pesto.

Dad pipes in with "Good thing it wasn't corn, or you'd owe her a buck-an-ear".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Acula_PhD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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My mom still won't talk to me

So my mom sent me a text asking if we had basil, thyme, rosemary, and sage. I didn't respond then she texted me again saying she's going to the store, and I need to check now. I texted her back 'I'm running out of thyme to tell you?' It's been half an hour and hasn't answered

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgtpepper95
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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