Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Salad puns are underrated
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikecheezballz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Salad cream
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anukrit_Subedi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
What do beavers like to put on their salads?

Branch dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 532
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePwnR4nger
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
How does a salad begin a religious service?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
I asked my SO why she could be a healthy salad.

Because I get you undressed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeliefInAll
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.

They absolutely killed it.

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What causes that vague feeling of unease when you look at an anthropomorphic salad?

The uncanny Hidden Valley effect.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
My mom, ordering at a restaurant: I’ll have the chef’s salad, please.

Dad: Honey, that’s a little rude. Just have your own.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
I’m addicted to salad and Japanese porn

I like Asian dressing and Asian undressing.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FyreBrawlStars
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?

The Mayo Clinic

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractiousrhubarb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?

Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurlyHead1002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:

Ate two, Brute.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
A Dad goes to a restaurant and orders a salad

Waitress: "Not a problem, what kind of dressing do you prefer?"

Dad: "Un dressing is my favorite"

Credit: my old man

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meathouse1989
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
What is the world's greatest and most unsuspecting salad dressing?

A Cheeseburger

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thoughts-persist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
🚨︎ report
To those worried about eating salad after the recent e coli outbreaks, I have three words for you.

Lettuce romaine calm

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
You must be a salad

Because I like how you’re dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NGzee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s another bacterial salad outbreak...

Yet lettuce romaine calm πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What does a French put in his salad?

L' ttuce

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ja-das-ist-gut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?

it was over dressed

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zazend15c
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Salad dressing
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?

Lettuce pray.

πŸ‘︎ 335
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πŸ‘€︎ u/undercover723
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?

It's a real cut up...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daveAnonSolo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say to the nun at the salad bar?

Lettuce pray.

*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time. 😎

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raindawg75
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsnufflewuffle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a Caesar salad?

You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wernershnitzl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish

Balsa McVinegar

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/david622
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
We made a dill potato salad last night, and man, was it delicious. So fresh and herby...

It was some baller baller dill, y’all.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleanHyroe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ribbers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a chicken salad this morning...

But he won't eat it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of lettuce do skeletons use for their salads?

Human Romaines

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nosaggio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if I wanted to play basketball or make fruit salad...

I told her she's mixing apples and oranges.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call leftover salad?

The romaine-der

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bikemandan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you ever had a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, no dressing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hakuna-matodda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A waitress asked me: β€œSoup or salad?”

I said just a regular salad would be fine

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ayahuascafarts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,

β€œDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when the chicken sees a salad.

Chicken Cesar salad.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.

Me: Olive

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lastwords87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Caesar Salad
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ureverypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’d like a salad with my pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ucazao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the salad say to the kidnapper?

Lettuce go

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sigge02
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?

Dude: Ranch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RBIC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m really worried about eating salads after this E. Coli outbreak.

But lettuce romaine calm !!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
What did the priest say to the salad?

"Lettuce Pray"

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitecorn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.

β€˜Now its a real β€˜Caesar’ salad’

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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