Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Salad puns are underrated
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π
︎ Dec 06 2019
Salad cream
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π
︎ Apr 17 2021
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
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︎ May 04 2021
How does a salad begin a religious service?
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︎ May 10 2021
I asked my SO why she could be a healthy salad.
Because I get you undressed
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π
︎ Jun 07 2021
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.
They absolutely killed it.
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π
︎ Mar 15 2021
What causes that vague feeling of unease when you look at an anthropomorphic salad?
The uncanny Hidden Valley effect.
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︎ May 22 2021
My mom, ordering at a restaurant: Iβll have the chefβs salad, please.
Dad: Honey, thatβs a little rude. Just have your own.
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π
︎ Mar 27 2021
Iβm addicted to salad and Japanese porn
I like Asian dressing and Asian undressing.
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π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?
Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:
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︎ Mar 15 2021
A Dad goes to a restaurant and orders a salad
Waitress: "Not a problem, what kind of dressing do you prefer?"
Dad: "Un dressing is my favorite"
Credit: my old man
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︎ Mar 11 2021
What is the world's greatest and most unsuspecting salad dressing?
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π
︎ Mar 09 2021
To those worried about eating salad after the recent e coli outbreaks, I have three words for you.
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π
︎ Jan 27 2021
You must be a salad
Because I like how youβre dressing.
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π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Thereβs another bacterial salad outbreak...
Yet lettuce romaine calm π€¦π»ββοΈ
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π
︎ Jan 05 2021
What does a French put in his salad?
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π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?
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π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Salad dressing
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π
︎ Nov 02 2020
What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?
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π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?
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π
︎ Nov 16 2020
What did the priest say to the nun at the salad bar?
Lettuce pray.
*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time. π
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︎ Jul 12 2020
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, youβve effectively undressed the salad.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
How do you make a Caesar salad?
You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times
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︎ Sep 05 2020
A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish
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π
︎ Nov 21 2020
We made a dill potato salad last night, and man, was it delicious. So fresh and herby...
It was some baller baller dill, yβall.
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
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π
︎ Jul 06 2020
I made a chicken salad this morning...
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π
︎ Sep 30 2020
What type of lettuce do skeletons use for their salads?
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π
︎ Jul 09 2020
My wife asked if I wanted to play basketball or make fruit salad...
I told her she's mixing apples and oranges.
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π
︎ Oct 04 2020
What do you call leftover salad?
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π
︎ Jun 11 2020
I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.
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π
︎ Jul 07 2020
Have you ever had a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone, no dressing.
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π
︎ Sep 08 2020
A waitress asked me: βSoup or salad?β
I said just a regular salad would be fine
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,
βDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough timesβ.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
What happened when the chicken sees a salad.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Wife: I know you donβt like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I canβt get them out.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Caesar Salad
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︎ Apr 12 2020
Iβd like a salad with my pizza.
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︎ Apr 07 2020
What did the salad say to the kidnapper?
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︎ May 11 2020
Me: Whatβs the cowboys favorite salad dressing?
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Iβm really worried about eating salads after this E. Coli outbreak.
But lettuce romaine calm !!
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π
︎ Jan 02 2021
What did the priest say to the salad?
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︎ Aug 07 2020
We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.
βNow its a real βCaesarβ saladβ
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π
︎ Jul 28 2020
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