Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
Salad puns are underrated
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
How does a salad begin a religious service?
I asked my SO why she could be a healthy salad.
Because I get you undressed
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.
They absolutely killed it.
What causes that vague feeling of unease when you look at an anthropomorphic salad?
The uncanny Hidden Valley effect.
My mom, ordering at a restaurant: I’ll have the chef’s salad, please.
Dad: Honey, that’s a little rude. Just have your own.
I’m addicted to salad and Japanese porn
I like Asian dressing and Asian undressing.
Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?
Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?
Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:
A Dad goes to a restaurant and orders a salad
Waitress: "Not a problem, what kind of dressing do you prefer?"
Dad: "Un dressing is my favorite"
Credit: my old man
What is the world's greatest and most unsuspecting salad dressing?
To those worried about eating salad after the recent e coli outbreaks, I have three words for you.
You must be a salad
Because I like how you’re dressing.
There’s another bacterial salad outbreak...
Yet lettuce romaine calm 🤦🏻♂️
What does a French put in his salad?
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?
What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?
Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?
What did the priest say to the nun at the salad bar?
*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time. 😎
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
How do you make a Caesar salad?
You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times
A lot of people like French dressing, but my favorite salad dressing is Irish
We made a dill potato salad last night, and man, was it delicious. So fresh and herby...
It was some baller baller dill, y’all.
Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
I made a chicken salad this morning...
What type of lettuce do skeletons use for their salads?
My wife asked if I wanted to play basketball or make fruit salad...
I told her she's mixing apples and oranges.
What do you call leftover salad?
I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.
Have you ever had a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone, no dressing.
A waitress asked me: “Soup or salad?”
I said just a regular salad would be fine
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,
“Dad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.
What happened when the chicken sees a salad.
Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.
I’d like a salad with my pizza.
What did the salad say to the kidnapper?
Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?
I’m really worried about eating salads after this E. Coli outbreak.
But lettuce romaine calm !!
What did the priest say to the salad?
We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.
‘Now its a real ‘Caesar’ salad’