I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.

They absolutely killed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Brutus: Dude how many Caesar's salads did you eat?

Julius: <Burps> Ate 2 Brute

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurlyHead1002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:

Ate two, Brute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?

it was over dressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zazend15c
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?

It's a real cut up...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daveAnonSolo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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How do you make a Caesar salad?

You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wernershnitzl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,

β€œDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Caesar Salad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ureverypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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A bowl of knives is a caesar salad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bengoumaII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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I don’t know how to make a Caesar salad

But i’m willing to take a stab at it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1punman_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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My wife made the kids and I garden salad for dinner instead of caesar salad

Caesar salad is our favourite so I told her she really lettuce down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeoxysSpeedForm
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
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How do you make a Caesar salad?

You take a heart of romaine and add 23 knives!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snakejawz
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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What did the dad say to the waitress when his kids received garden salads instead of caesar salads?

You really lettuce down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeoxysSpeedForm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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What do you call a chicken looking a lettuce

A chicken Caesar salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Well, I laughed.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morgan_Redwood
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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What happens when a hen looks at a lettuce?

Chicken Caesar Salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EasyTigrr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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The Romaine Empire has Fallen... Caesar is dead...

Lettuce pray.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I was busy Roman around when I found this restaurant i.reddituploads.com/e5dd8…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexV798
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2016
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Romaine Calm

Romaine calm. The government did not Caesar vegetables. They will lettuce know what's going on soon. That's salad o' panic over what may be just a coincidence. If it's a false alarm somebody's going to get a dressing down. E. Coli like I see it.*

*So many puns in such bad taste. Too Soonβ„’?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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What do you call a salad that has been stabbed 23 times

Caesar salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rotten_tomato69
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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My dad pulled this one at dinner last night

My mom made stuffed peppers with with Shepherd's pie ground beef instead of stuffed pepper mix. So my dad goes... "I guess these are Shepherd's Peppers!"

He couldn't wait to spit that one out and had a great big laugh. Then told it again because my mom wasn't in the room.

Edit.. I don't think some people know the food involved. Stuffed peppers are these. And shepherds pie is this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-truth-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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Got a Grandpa at work tonight...

I work as a server at a large chain restaurant (Applebee's), and got an old man at one of my tables tonight.

Old guy: I'll take a salad, Caesar.

Me: You can just call me Jeff

He grinned for about 10 seconds before chuckling, and I even got his wife and granddaughter laughing with it. Mission accomplished.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fsusparks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
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Just say "when"

My mom, dad and I were out at dinner and the three of us got Caesar salads. My dad gets up and grabs a pepper grinder, which is a long, waiter style grinder. He puts pepper on my mother's salad as I stuff my mouth with bread. He then asks like waiters do, "would you like some pepper, sir?". My mouth is full so I nod my head, yes. He says, "just say when", as he grinds pepper onto my salad.

At this point, I'm chewing rapidly so I can say something without choking.

"That's good"

"Just say when, just say WHEN!"

"Uh when"

Good thing I like pepper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyrammosoreus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2013
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Gfs dad joke

What do epileptic people eat?

Caesar(pronounced "seizure") salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/somechineseguy
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2014
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Caeser makes an appearance

So I'm at dinner with the family, and our salads are taking forever. My dad says, "I guess Caeser himself is delivering the salad." So I said, "He comes up, says, "Your salad is ready," and leaves."

And my dad says with a grin, "Caesar leaves?"

My face = >:|

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clone12TM
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2014
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We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.

β€˜Now its a real β€˜Caesar’ salad’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Any salad is a Caesar salad if you stab it enough times
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enzene
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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Any salad can be a caesar salad

If you stab it enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandlr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
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What do you call a rooster looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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What do you call a chicken looking at your lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/undrgrnd0924
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jenivede
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken Caesar salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyreeddit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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What do you call a chicken that is staring at a lettuce?

Chicken Caesar salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownwoodendoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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What's it called when a hen looks at some lettuce?

A Chicken Caesar Salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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