His favourite sandwich is Lettuce Guacamole Bacon Tomatoe
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ni_ko_98
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What happens if you flip a lettuce leaf on its other side?

Nothing, it romaines the same.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/carlazuzcnn10
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Lettuce

Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyJelloJiggles
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
lettuce dog
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gaiendbedrock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad!

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nickwitenzen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves

But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?

Cub Salad.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angelmikeal
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Ran out of toilet paper and am now wiping with lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slammogram
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I’ve been having to use lettuce as TP since the Covid craziness

The worst part is the news says this is just the tip of the iceberg and what I need to use as TP tomorrow romaines to be seen. Stay safe kids, Dad

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
I ran out of toilet roll so am reduced to wiping my butt with lettuce leaves.....

I fear it's just the tip of the iceberg.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrFabulous0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken that's looking at some lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nyar99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
I don’t usually go grocery shopping, so when my mom asked to buy lettuce, I had to tell myself to romaine calm
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmehthekid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What did a lettuce and it's friends say in jail?

Lettuce go

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GalaxFlame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
Apparently, new government advice in light of the toilet paper shortage is to use lettuce leaves when using the toilet.

It's the tip of the iceberg (courtesy of my dad).

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nathd1991
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Run out of toilet paper and having to use lettuce leaves

I'm really annoyed. And this is just the tip of the iceberg!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw a cute girl by the lettuce in the shop today

Turns out it was salad

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/topherdophe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Lettuce commence on the refrigerator puns!
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slightly_lisdexic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
I don’t usually go grocery shopping, so when my kid asked to buy lettuce

I had to tell myself to romaine calm

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmehthekid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad

But there was none Romaine-ing

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dawinner64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Grocery store lettuce know we can leaf with safe food
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ucchan801
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Watch out for the iceberg lettuce!
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitoncrack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce stop these leeks.
πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rvpcantplay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce Romaine Calm
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SurvivalPanda123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?

...'cos he's a ROCKET MAN...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ipoointhepool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The lettuce at the bottom of our pan was frozen solid.

Coworker 1: Aw shucks looks like we got the wrong lettuce.

Coworker 2: What do you mean? It's the same lettuce we usually get.

Coworker 1: Nuh uh, this is clearly iceberg lettuce.

Badum tss

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a chicken looks at lettuce?

Chicken Sees A Salad

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G_Rose44
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce turnip the beet!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aikijo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you’re behind lettuce in a race and then pass lettuce?

You’re aHEAD of lettuce

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J4CK5PR4T_30
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t decide how much lettuce to buy, but my wife helped me think it through.

Turns out two heads are better than one.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce be thankful no one was hurt!
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueOps
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a hen looks at a lettuce?

Chicken Caesar Salad

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EasyTigrr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce pray for her.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FullData5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce witness people go hΓ m in the comments
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lamvbk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce make a dill you can’t refuse
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justpie24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Elton John doesn’t like iceberg lettuce..

He’s more of a rocket man

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kah0303
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce rejoice.
πŸ‘︎ 272
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a hen is looking at a price of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4myfortnite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at the grocery store, confused about how much lettuce to buy. So I called my wife for advice.

Turns out two heads are better than one.

πŸ‘︎ 218
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken starring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marryy1021
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my wife not to drop the lettuce, but she did anyway.

Heads rolled.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spinn3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctors for the first time in a while. He told me that I had a piece of lettuce hanging out of my ass.

I told him that was just the tip of the iceberg

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unclecandypockets
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If all the ice melts, is it just berg lettuce??
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1eyedmanisking
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DatJuliannn
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Titanic’s Sous Chef: β€œWill this iceberg lettuce float by without harming us?”

Executive Chef: β€œWell, that romaines to be seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the lettuce get arrested?

It couldn't Romain silent!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrooperCX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hen with lettuce on its eye?

Chicken Caesar Salad

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHarlz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What makes Chinese lettuce Chinese?

It's roots.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RunElle1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a lettuce with epilepsy

A seizure salad

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thearabest2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce in on the joke reddit.com/r/3amjokes/com…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord-Taldo
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my kid to make us a honeymoon salad. Lettuce alone.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Never buy just one head of lettuce.

Two heads are better than one.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Hands up! Please lettuce live! reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SarcasticaFont
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I want to watch a movie where a boy falls in love with a head of lettuce and they live happily ever after

What can I say, I’m a hopeless romaintic

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aexolthum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chicken that sees a lettuce?

Chicken-See's-A-Salad

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moist_Milky
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Lettuce deport them all!
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuellinIt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Hear about Massive lettuce recall?

I think everyone should Romaine calm.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pointy-sticks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hen looking at a bowl of lettuce?

Chicken sees-a salad

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken take lettuce from the garden?

Chicken Sees-A Salad

Upon hearing this joke, the guy told it to me emotionally manipulated $15 out of me...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jenivede
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Hear about the romaine lettuce recall?

Everyone was "tossing their salads"!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I found some lettuce stuck in my dog's butt.

Alas, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elokwins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
lettuce appreciate this pun
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crabby-boi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Race between lettuce and tomato

The lettuce was a head but the tomato was trying to Ketchup

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/McBlitzerator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chicken with Lettuce over it’s eyes?

Chicken Sees a Salad

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuntCaseKid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
With the new e.coli outbreak in romaine lettuce, it is really confusing me that the CDC is telling everyone to toss salad...
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce?

Chicken Ceasar Salad.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OCR9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken Caesar salad

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyreeddit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the head of lettuce refuse to speak to the police?

It knew it had the right to romaine silent.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caferreri11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Lettuce all enjoy this pun...
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œDoctor, I think I have a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bum!”

Doctor: I’m sorry to tell you that it is just the tip of the iceberg.

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken staring at a bowl of lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Golden_Pwny_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
On a club about eating lettuce the fastest
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xtrepic
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
A tornado destroyed a lettuce farm

Nothing romained.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerkialo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Where can you find the most dangerous lettuce in the word?

Romain-ia

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you write "lettuce" in Romaine numerals?

I think it's something with CDC, but I'm not positive.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do u call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees-a salad

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stahu24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
They took all the lettuce out of the grocery store

until none romaine

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chromogenic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that scientists tried to insert lettuce DNA into a human embryo?

All they got was Human Romaines.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do lettuces grow best in a greenhouse?

Romaines to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Owners of the produce company whose lettuce truck crashed respond to inquiries...

> We had to let the driver go. Heads did roll.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDoc, I think I have a serious issue. A piece of lettuce is sticking out of my butt!”

Doc: I’m afraid that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Was the chicken looking at the lettuce from across the road?
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elduderino260
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œI told you to get iceberg lettuce!”

Romaine calm, I’ll go back to the store.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamflexx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chicken looking at Lettuce?

Chicken Ceaser Salad!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LoadedEmu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear

The doctor says, "that looks nasty" the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"

πŸ‘︎ 144
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J96x_Rob_LFC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
🚨︎ report
If you have epilepsy, don't fall into a bowl of lettuce.

You'd become a seizure salad.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MineMine132
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken staring at a piece of lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extra-long-pubes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
lettuce see the problem

A man goes to see his doctor because he has a lettuce leaf sticking out of his ear.

"Hmmm," the doctor says, "that's strange."

The guy replies, "I know. And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shimshamshum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce?

β€˜Cause he’s more of a Rocket Man! πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nCRedditor-21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.

Turns out two heads are better than one.

πŸ‘︎ 249
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t decide how much lettuce to buy, but my wife helped me think through it.

Turns out two heads are better than one.

πŸ‘︎ 213
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken looking at your lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/undrgrnd0924
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I couldn't decide how much lettuce to buy, but my wife helped me think through it.

Turns out two heads are better than one.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken that is staring at a lettuce?

Chicken Caesar salad

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brownwoodendoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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