I don’t usually go grocery shopping, so when my mom asked to buy lettuce, I had to tell myself to romaine calm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmehthekid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Lettuce Romaine Calm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SurvivalPanda123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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Hear about the romaine lettuce recall?

Everyone was "tossing their salads"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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With the new e.coli outbreak in romaine lettuce, it is really confusing me that the CDC is telling everyone to toss salad...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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How do you write "lettuce" in Romaine numerals?

I think it's something with CDC, but I'm not positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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What do you call a chicken looking at romaine lettuce?

Chicken Ceaser Salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Preemfunk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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To those worried about eating salad after the recent e coli outbreaks, I have three words for you.

Lettuce romaine calm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Pandemic Puns
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egarske1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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There’s another bacterial salad outbreak...

Yet lettuce romaine calm πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My daughter really changed a lot after becoming a vegan.

It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbra
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Iceberg!! Iceberg!! We're in a titanic pickle here

But lettuce romaine calm, help will turnip soon

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Poor guy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmizzo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves

But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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I keep asking people what LGBTQ stands for

Bur I never get a straight answer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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The grocery stores are bare right now besides some greens.

Only the lettuce romaine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thrillho333
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists are saying salads are soon to be a thing of the past.

Lettuce Romaine calm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Romaine Calm

Romaine calm. The government did not Caesar vegetables. They will lettuce know what's going on soon. That's salad o' panic over what may be just a coincidence. If it's a false alarm somebody's going to get a dressing down. E. Coli like I see it.*

*So many puns in such bad taste. Too Soonβ„’?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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I went to the fridge to make a salad...

i was looking for the lettuce but there was none romaining

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawinner64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the favorite cheer for Maine's best rowing team, the Vegetarians?

Lettuce romaine!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnabbe
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Forward from dad several years ago...

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doctor01001010
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
🚨︎ report
I’m really worried about eating salads after this E. Coli outbreak.

But lettuce romaine calm !!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm really worried about this ecoli outbreak

But lettuce romaine calm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PuffaDay
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report

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