Honey, where are the carrots? I can't find a single one
Maybe try a married one then
π︎ 39
π
︎ May 03 2021
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
Why is carrot more faithful than hummus?
The carrot sticks but the hummus dips.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
Why did the snowpeople go to the carrot patch?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
What's the difference between Mike Wazowski and a carrot?
One's a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?
He got caught picking his nose!
π︎ 396
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
I was complaining to my husband that the baby carrots I bought were so so big that I needed to cut them up for our 3 year old.
He said "Maybe next time you should get premie carrots instead."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
What does Carrot Top wear to the beach?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Why is booze better than carrots?
Carrots maybe good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision
π︎ 35
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I donβt carrot all
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
What's invisible and smells like carrots
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
π︎ 128
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Say what you want about carrot top, but fact of the matter is heβs out there making a living as a comedian
You gotta give him props for that
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
I got my wife an 18 carrot necklace.
It was not only easy on the eyes, but it was also good for the eyes, too.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
My friend always brags about hot beautiful his radishes and carrots are...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
That's a big carrot
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 02 2020
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: βI can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
A carrot, some corn and a cucumber fell into the ocean
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 22 2020
Got some 24 carrot gold right here π
π︎ 45
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
He doesn't carrot all
π︎ 396
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
What do you get when you cross a carrot with a radish?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
I made a cabbage, carrot and corn stir-fry tonight! The recipe called for tilipia, but I put in pork. I realize now that I should have put in chicken, though...
...it's supposed to be a C-food stir-fry.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Why was the carrot sad?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
Downvote if you want, I don't carrot all
π︎ 562
π
︎ Jul 17 2018
I don't carrot all if you don't like it...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
The Grim Reaper appeared in beside me when I was chopping up some carrots in my kitchen.
He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me. Very scary when you are dicing with death.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
What do you call a carrot with 4 sides?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Sep 14 2019
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 21 2020
Apparently if you buy cabbage from coles supermarkets you are legally obligated to buy carrots and mayonnaise
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
What do you call the carrot on a snowmanβs corpse?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
It's good to see people that carrot about world peas.It might seem corny, but to achieve world peas we have to beet the bad guys.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Jul 18 2018
When you're sad and no one seems to carrot all
π︎ 620
π
︎ Jul 31 2017
My roommates always hate on my puns but I donβt carrot all.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
"Carrots are good for your eyes"
I don't think I've ever tried putting them in my eyes...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. βWhatβs wrong with me doc?β He asks ...
βItβs easy, you just not eating properlyβ the doctors replies.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the Mayo.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jun 16 2019
Why was the snowman rooting around in a bag of carrots?
π︎ 97
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Carrots may improve your eyes
But booze will double your vision
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor says: βI can tell right away that youβre not eating rightβ
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
Why was the snowman going through all the carrots???
He was picking his nose!!!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
What's invisible and smells like a carrot?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
Whatβs invisible and smells like carrots?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
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