Got a cheesy potato pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Need stupid/funny potato puns.

I know this might not be the place to post a question but I was wondering if any of you punny peeps can help me out? I got some free stamps and I want to mail a few potatoes out to my relatives. I know this is pretty stupid and a waste of time but I'm laughing at myself just thinking what their reactions and responses will be when they check their mailbox and see a potato. I want to write a potato pun somewhere on the potato. So of you're willing to help me do this; please leave me your potato puns for me to read and decide which ones I'll be using. Thank you for reading.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Potato puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solsticeofdeath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Potato puns are apeeling
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B33boy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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Potato puns are a little tricky...

you need to stew on 'em a little bit, you can't just russet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JFW0RD
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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At a family dinner for Thanksgiving (Canada), everyone is firing off their best potato puns.

I pipe up with "Please, you guys, stop. If you keep this up, I'm going to die of Tuber-culosis."

The entire table emitted a collective groan at me, and one of my cousins just shook his head at me. No one made a potato pun again that night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Commander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
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What do you get when you mix a penis, potato & a boat?

A dick-tator-ship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1989JY_Ked
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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Why did the defensive lineman get so excited about a 25 cent coupon for a bag of potatos?

He's always looking for a quarterback sack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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What did one potato say to the other who wanted to prove everyone wrong?

β€œYou sure have a chip on your shoulder”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/herewithh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....

Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".

(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")

Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mavaction
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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Why did the potato have to keep buying new lenses for his glasses?

His eyes wouldn't stop growing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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Why did the potato cough up blood?

Because it had tuber-culosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazytacoman4
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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What do you call a rude potato?

A dictater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrantnitar
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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What do you call a mean potato?

A dictator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cuckhold_Or_Sell
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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What do you get when you cross a potato with a penis?

A dictator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samauribadger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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Did you hear about the anti-abortion potato named Richard?

They call him Dick tater for life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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What did one Potato Head ask the other Potato Head what was for dinner tonight

One said, β€œyour lookin at it!!” πŸ’€

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jen_Klen
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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What do you get when you mix a penis & a potato?

A dick-tator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1989JY_Ked
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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What do you call a potato that looks like a penis?

A dicktater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Telusion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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What do you call a meditating potato?

Meditator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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What did one potato say to the other in the oven?

I know it’s getting heated but we can hash it out.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed?

Fries

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boombotser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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How do you make potato bread?

With pota-dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_AM_KILLFACE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
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Got a job at a potato chip factory. On top of salary they said I could pick any flavor chip off the shelf once a month.

They prided themselves in their stock options.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cross2085
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Columbus_Explorer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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What do you call a potato that uploads videos?

YouTuber

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sitathon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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Everything in existence is either a potato or not a potato
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtOfPuns
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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What did the Sweet Potato say when it gained consciousness?

I think therefore I Yam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/symbologythere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
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Why was the man who removed 10 potato skins in 1 minute so attractive?

He had secs a peel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ambutter15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
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Scientists have discovered a new species of potato that has attained consciousness and become self aware.

They are calling them meta-taters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
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While I was gardening a potato was watching me and criticizing my every move. He thought he was big stuff.

But I think he was just a commontater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheezeturds
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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WHICH POTATO RULES THEM ALL?

The Dic-tator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agentvision
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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Why did the sweet potato cross the road?

So that it could be the other side. Courtesy of my 6 year old. I’m so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/watchtheedge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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What do you call a wavering potato?

A hesitater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rapiddevolution
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.

You can say I'm agnocchic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alterom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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What do you call a fried potato who is being held hostage?

A bargaining chip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndGall
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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A couch potato
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1WKSoul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Did you hear about the men at the monastery who make fried potato crisps?

They’re the chip monks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abombregardless
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...

He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funny-Promise956
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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What do you call a potato in a hotel room?

A suite potato.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KomodoJo3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What did the potato get for their birthday?

A sur-fries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShampionEGM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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What do you call a potato wearing glasses?

Spec-tater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What's a dog's favorite kind of potato chip?

Ruffles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thailandblack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato.

Because it's For a Yam!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What internet job did the potato get?

YouTuber

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πŸ‘€︎ u/craftynoodle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What did potato say to the other potato?

Nothing, potatoes can't speak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radoje17
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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What do you call an award-winning potato snack?

A champion chip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Couch potato
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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