What did the Sweet Potato say when it gained consciousness?

I think therefore I Yam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/symbologythere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a forcefully flying pig?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ‘€︎ u/Columbus_Explorer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Why did the sweet potato cross the road?

So that it could be the other side. Courtesy of my 6 year old. I’m so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/watchtheedge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato.

Because it's For a Yam!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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she's my sweet potato
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolflambert
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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I bought a sweet potato and named it after myself.

It was my yam, me.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/beyond_hate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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A teacher is taking roll call in a classroom of sweet potato students. The teacher asks "is John here?"

John raises his hand, "I yam."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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Aww, what a sweet potato imgur.com/EGXJQU4
πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ‘€︎ u/rvermilion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2016
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Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?

Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/dmomo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Where is the sweet potato's favorite vacation spot?


πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/CookieSan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
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What did the cucumber say to the talkative sweet potato?

Quit your YAMmering!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/soboness5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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Are you the guy who stole all the sweet potatoes?


πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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My six month old just started eating sweet potatoes

He likes it because it's yammy.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Are you enjoying your sweet potatoes this Thanksgiving?

I know I yam

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/braxistExtremist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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Sent my sister a video about sweet potatoes
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Minima221
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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My girlfriend asked me if I was peeling sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner.

I said, β€œYes, I yam”

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanilla_Milkshaq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?


πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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Sweet Potatoes originated in South America

Possibly the Yam-azon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikilt22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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I work at a grocery store and a guy came through my line with his wife. He forgot to put his sweet potatoes on the belt and I make a crack about him stealing food. His wife then said,

"Ya know, if they put out a warrant for your arrest for stealing those potatoes you would be on the yam."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMortar93
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2016
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I dropped a bunch of canned sweet potatoes before the store opened today while stocking shelves;

My coworker hollered "uh oh!"

I responded with a boisterous "YAM IT!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Miriahification
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2014
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What do you get if you cross /r/aww with /r/iamveryrandom?

Sweet potato

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/koftechameleon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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What do you call a yam in a hotel?

A suite potato!

nbd just a classic dad joker

πŸ‘︎ 581
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spagharrett
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2014
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A woman walks up and says.....

"are you the father of these little sweet potatoes?" He says, " I yam"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/superbrady1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Father: Homophone for "I"?

Son: Eye

Father: Synonym for "sweet potato"?

Son: Yam

Father: Synonym for "casserole"?

Son: Stew

Father: Four-letter word, past tense of "to urinate"?

Son: Peed

Father: Hi Stupid, I'm Dad

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/v310city
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.


... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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My girlfriend is now my dad...

So we return home after food shopping. Sweet potatoes for sweet potato fries. Fuck yes. I was being pissy about how long we spent shopping and started helping with the cooking. I snapped saying we should have just cooked before going shopping. My girlfriend turned to me and said, "But we didn't have enough thyme on our hands"...

Edit: Grammar...

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ‘€︎ u/TerryW0gan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2015
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Dad joked the wife over cooking...FTW

I've got oven preheated to 420f for baking sweet potatoes, wife course corrects and tells me she wants the oven set to 450f... "What, 420 isn't HIGH enough for you?"

Teenage kids reaction in the kitchen, priceless! Got a high-five from stepdaughter too!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulyMcBee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
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G'day reddit. Been a dad since October 2014, and just yesterday these hit me..

It started off pretty innocently. I was at work doing work stuff (I'm an apprentice boilermaker if you want to know) and came up with this...

Q. How did the bacon get to hospital? A. In the HAMbulance.

Kinda just snowballed from there...

Q. How did the sheep get to hospital? A. In the RAMbulance.

Q. How did the oyster get to hospital? A. In the CLAMbulance.

Q. How did the marmalade get to the hospital? A. In the JAMbulance.

I decided to post my hilarity on Facebook, and my brother in law dropped this one:

Q. How did the martial artist get to hospital? A. In the JEANCLAUDEVANDAMMEbulance.

And my sister chimed in too:

Q. How did the Beaver get to hospital? A. In the DAMbulance.

The next thing I knew, it just wouldn't stop...THEY JUST KEPT COMING OUT OF MY BRAIN!

Q. How did the sweet potato get to hospital? A. In the YAMbulance.

Q. How did the Indian get to hospital? A. In the PAPADAMbulance.

Q. How did the other Indian get to hospital? A. In the WIGWAMbulance.

Q. How did the insomniac get to hospital? A. In the DIAZAPAMbulance.

Q. How did the baby get to hospital? A. In the PRAMbulance.

Q. How did The Flash get to hospital? A. In the SHAZAMbulance.

I went to bed around 8.30pm. NO SLEEP FOR ME, MORE DAD JOKES TO THINK ABOUT!

Q. How did Sean Penn get to the hospital? A. In the IAMSAMbulance.

Q. How did Dr Suess get to the hospital? A. In the SAMIAMbulance.

Q. How did the exhibitionist get to hospital? A. In the WEBCAMbulance.

Q. How did the 80's pop stars get to hospital? A. In the WHAMbulance.

Q. How did the air hostess get to hospital? A. In the PAN-AMbulance.

Q. How did the POW get to hospital? A. In the VIETNAMbulance.

I'm pretty much spent at this point, but thought I would share with you guys. Maybe you've got more of your own to add?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/azureal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
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Got my kid while cooking Thanksgiving dinner

She asked why I was microwaving the sweet potatoes instead of putting them in the oven and I told her that the turkey was in there, and I still needed to use the oven for the dressing, the veggies, and then the pie.

"Wow, there's a long waiting list for the oven!" she exclaimed.

I replied, "Yep, guess you could say it's the hot place to be tonight."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrifty917
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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That baby eat meat?

My sister-in-law is feeding my 7 month old nephew. My dad says "Do you feed him any meats yet?" She says "We have chicken and rice and chicken and sweet potatoes." Dad replies with "That's all foul meat." Bazzzing

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/IglooThomas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
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At thanksgiving dinner...

So my family and I are eating our usual thanksgiving dinner, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, you name it. My sister really likes sweet drinks, so she would serve her self a glass of grape juice almost right after her previous ones. After a couple of refills, my dad says "Do you want some dinner with your juice?" He says this for every damn thing. I like syrup on my waffles like the next guy but pour a little much and he says "Want some waffles with your syrup?" Every. Damn. Time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoochMuffler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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I am a sweet potato

Therefore I yam

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"

The potato responds "I yam."

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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What did the sweet potato philosopher say?

I think, therefore I yam.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/clitbeastwood
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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