I was trying to think of dessert puns but I cannoli think of one.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twocents_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled wa

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
What kind of frozen dessert does an A-10 pilot like to eat?

Sher-brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Puns-alot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
How did the Italian Dessert Chef protect her small horse from COVID?

She'd Mascarpone.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
I sometimes think about stuffing figs with Tic-tacs for dessert, but never actually tried it

It's just a fig mint of my imagination

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
What's a dog's favorite Christmas dessert recipe?

Peppermint bark

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
What's a Star Wars fans favorite dessert? Obi Wan Cannoli
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sharpshooter228
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
I told the kids they could have all the delicious campfire dessert they wanted.

But when we ran out of graham crackers and marshmallows, I had to tell them we didn’t have anysmore.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nesquik8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Why do Teddy bears don't ever have dessert?

Because they are stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What did Burt’s wife say when he asked if she wanted dessert?

Sherbert.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bennnnetttt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?

They took him into custardy

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I wanted to have some dessert, but I forgot to bake it.

I guess I couldn't have my cake and heat it too.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gameronomist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Ever dream of a world where desserts are endless?

I cannoli imagine.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I was going to make her an affogato for dessert and then handed her this.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigphokinsoupguy
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.

I said "No, that's the last thing I want"

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eastawat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Does anyone remember the name of that Italian dessert with espresso poured over gelato?

Because affogato

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/witz33
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross, but they were actually pretty good! Turns out...

...that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I was going to make her an affogato for dessert and then handed her this:
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigphokinsoupguy
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Banana for dessert
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kettumc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the artist that turned into a gelatin dessert?

MichelanJell-O

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
What’s a cannibals favorite dessert?

A danish.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jayperez0306
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
I don’t like liquid desserts, but I don’t know why

Something about them is just off-pudding

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
What's a vampires favourite dessert accompaniment?

Blood clotted cream

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewbowers88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the Teddy Bear want any dessert?

He was already stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saint_davidsonian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

Pie-rat

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/manlymanhood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a primate with a dessert?

A Meringutan

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
- Tera (while eating dessert): I miss you dad...

- Tera's dad: Teramisu too

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Is there a dessert place called Operation Dessert Storm? Because there probably should be

The mascot could be General Smore man Schwarzkopf

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TelephoneTable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What was David Bowie’s favourite Christmas dessert?

Ziggy pudding

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?

You’re the apple of my pie.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/segfaulting_again
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of snake never skips dessert?

A Pie-thon🐍🐍🐍

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.

They call it Boo-Meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DadBodDeadpool
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
For dessert the waiter brought me tiramisu and a small, blind-folded horse

I said β€œno, mascarpone!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/battshooot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a witch's favorite dessert?

An ice cream crone!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter made dessert for the first time

She wrote 3.14 on a sheet of paper and said "eat up"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a mathematician's favorite dessert?

Pie chart

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a pun joke Dad’s favorite dessert?

Nothing punT Cake.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: What's the name of the dessert where you put an espresso over ice cream?

Colleague: Affogato

Me: Yeah I forgot too, I'm sure there's a name for it...

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skilldan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?

Apple Turnover

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?

Barklava!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N9neToeJoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad is a mathematician and exclusively has cake for dessert...

...because having Pi would be too irrational.

πŸ‘︎ 330
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grima_OrbEater
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
An eyelash just fell into my dessert

Good thing I ordered eyes-cream

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/funkysocks24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a baseball players favorite dessert?

Bunt cake

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/quixxotk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was asking my wife for dessert, but he still had dinner left on his plate

Son: I want ice cream!

Wife: if you're hungry, your plate is right here

Son: But we don't eat plates!

He's only four. This kid is destined for greatness.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PMyourself
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a cannibal’s favorite dessert?

Ben and Jerry’s

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grassblox311
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
(British pun) People keep saying Trump might dessert the country...

Is that because he has been backed into a MΓΌller Corner?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Statically
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?

No thanks, I'm stuffed

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SensitiveSquare
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the expired dessert get invited to the party? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Valahiru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a turkey's favorite dessert?

Peach gobbler.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aMrMewtwo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, these dessert recipes look difficult.β€œ

Dad: Jell-O’s not so hard.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TandemRunBike
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a gamblers favorite dessert?

Dice cream.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tunayafish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a baker giving out free desserts?

A terrible businessman, but he considers it pie-lanthropy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerAndJameson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a foul-mouthed dessert?

CUSStard

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ace_ace_baby
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Russians like desserts

Russians like desserts especially PUTINgs

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Luke Skywalker's favorite dessert?

Obi wan Cannoli. But yoduh, you already knew that.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcWalrus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an egg dessert that keeps coming back to scare you?

A boo-meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Two snowmen decide to have cake for dessert. One snowman spits some out saying it tastes like boogers. The other snowman says.

Well, it’s carrot cake.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anton7ram
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Chow down on the food that’s served, you’re going to get a good dessert
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/91lightning
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
When I go out to eat, the last thing I want, is the dessert.

I've tried eating it first, and that was just wrong!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a psychics favorite dessert?

Tarot cake.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMyFaultImMoody
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Persephone asked Hades for dessert and in response he threw a stone at here and said

Here’s a palm o’ granite

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
At a restaurant last night I tried to order a fancy coffee for dessert

Affogato the name.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OohStripey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a ghost's favourite dessert?

A boo-nana split.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeeshOil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Synonym buns and synonym rolls are basically the same dessert
πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pittgoose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s an artist’s favorite dessert?

Michelan-jello

:-)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sothg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know it's almost impossible to spot a camel in the dessert?

They have excellent camelflage.

(If you look closely it's behind the ice cream.)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Avanou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I had to eat dessert for dinner

Because the main course was so off-pudding

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kirillsimin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a dad's favorite dessert?

A puncake

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Why would Paul Muad'Dib make a great dessert chef?

He's got flans within flans.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the scariest dessert?

A terrormisu

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eckz89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a monkey who loves fancy desserts?

A meringue-utang

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
When someone dies from eating too much desserts...

...I guess that's a parfaitality.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Silverr-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
What's Kitty's favorite dessert ?

Chilled cup of mice cream

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Eleven from Stranger Things favorite dessert?

Pineapple right-side up cake.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Went to a friend's house and was offered dessert.

They offered me a disclaimer. "The custard tastes good, but the consistency isn't normal"

I responded "Oh, so it's off-pudding?"

Only her father laughed with me

πŸ‘︎ 563
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kvekva
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2016
🚨︎ report
What Christmas dessert can you not trust?

A mince spy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SwiftHadoken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do I do as a sweet cold dessert being followed by a serial killer?

Icecream

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Medwok
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m often a witness to my British friend Richard’s antics, involving randomly placing baked desserts in people’s homes.

More than once I’ve spotted Dick putting.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
The guy manning the dessert station in my cafeteria got his coworker good with this one.

Worker 1: Hey, you better watch out, I can't be trusted.

Worker 2: Why's that?

Worker 1: Because I'm desserting everyone!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alexisxsays
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
🚨︎ report
What's a Volcano's favorite dessert?

BakLava

πŸ‘︎ 171
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dante_Elephante
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
🚨︎ report
We were getting dessert...

My mom, stepdad, and I were deciding what to get for dessert and they had 3 different kinds of cannoli.

Me: Which 2 should we get?

Stepdad: But I cannoli eat one!

It was painful and beautiful at the same time.

πŸ‘︎ 902
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cerealkillr95
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a murder mystery about desserts?

Whodonut?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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