I was trying to think of dessert puns but I cannoli think of one.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twocents_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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What's a deer's favourite dessert?

Doe-nuts.

How much does each one cost the deer?

One buck.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What's the name of the dessert consisting of Espresso poured over Vanilla ice cream?

It was on the tip of my tongue, but Affogato.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What's the German WW2 pilot's favourite dessert?

Luftwaffle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Turaell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I used to know the name of a dessert where you pour espresso over a scoop of ice cream.

But affogato 'bout it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What is a cannibal’s favorite dessert?

Lady fingers

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungry-Hippo_3124
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What do you call a dessert that attracts bugs?

A moussequito

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot_Potato_MC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a desserts favorite piece of clothing?

FLANnel

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crushedgoose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?

Cause he was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What dose a Greek ghost eat for dessert?

Boogatsa

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregblackey
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What dessert is popular amongst those with memory loss?

Affogato

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangesAreLove
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a mathematician's favorite dessert?

Angle Food Cake

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatchOutItsAdam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I sometimes think about stuffing figs with Tic-tacs for dessert, but never actually tried it

It's just a fig mint of my imagination

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What's a Star Wars fans favorite dessert? Obi Wan Cannoli
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharpshooter228
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?

They took him into custardy

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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How did the Italian Dessert Chef protect her small horse from COVID?

She'd Mascarpone.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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What's a dog's favorite Christmas dessert recipe?

Peppermint bark

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Burt’s wife say when he asked if she wanted dessert?

Sherbert.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bennnnetttt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Why do Teddy bears don't ever have dessert?

Because they are stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I was going to make her an affogato for dessert and then handed her this.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigphokinsoupguy
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.

I said "No, that's the last thing I want"

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eastawat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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I wanted to have some dessert, but I forgot to bake it.

I guess I couldn't have my cake and heat it too.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gameronomist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever dream of a world where desserts are endless?

I cannoli imagine.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Does anyone remember the name of that Italian dessert with espresso poured over gelato?

Because affogato

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πŸ‘€︎ u/witz33
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Banana for dessert
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kettumc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross, but they were actually pretty good! Turns out...

...that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Indians eat for dessert?

Spice cream

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diogenes--
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife I was going to make her an affogato for dessert and then handed her this:
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigphokinsoupguy
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a cannibals favorite dessert?

A danish.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayperez0306
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Did you hear about the artist that turned into a gelatin dessert?

MichelanJell-O

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t like liquid desserts, but I don’t know why

Something about them is just off-pudding

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Why didn't the Teddy Bear want any dessert?

He was already stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saint_davidsonian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a vampires favourite dessert accompaniment?

Blood clotted cream

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewbowers88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

Pie-rat

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manlymanhood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Is there a dessert place called Operation Dessert Storm? Because there probably should be

The mascot could be General Smore man Schwarzkopf

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TelephoneTable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a primate with a dessert?

A Meringutan

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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What was David Bowie’s favourite Christmas dessert?

Ziggy pudding

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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- Tera (while eating dessert): I miss you dad...

- Tera's dad: Teramisu too

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?

You’re the apple of my pie.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/segfaulting_again
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the teddy bear say β€œno” to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report

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