I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today.

His mom got really angry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Buzz Alvin and Meal Armstrong. reddit.com/gallery/kizca2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I went to McDonald’s and ate a kid’s meal today.

His mom was pretty upset at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creator35
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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One should eat a healthy meal before going to space.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suddenly_ants
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Every meal is a Happy Meal....

.....if you leave your kids at home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What is a ghost’s favourite meal?

Spookghetti

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?

Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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My friend asked if i was getting an Oasis with my meal.

I said maybe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ps_arya
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I had the perfect joke about french meals

it's unbrielievably cheesy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IWishIWasAGoomba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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After finishing our meal, my date said we should have dinner again

I told her I’m too full now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbleechips
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Why da fuck did tha lion eat tha tightrope walker? He wanted er well-balanced meal!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..

..and it has given me food forethought.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I wish we had ShowerThoughts over our morning meal instead,

So we could call them Breakfast Epiphanies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProducerPants
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why didn’t Han Solo like his meal

Because it was Chewy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Centuri13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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You know Luke’s favorite bbq meal?

A Tatooweenie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorRacoon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Certainly," he replied.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?

Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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When's the best day to eat a big meal?

Chewsday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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WHat's an Allosaurus's favorite meal?

Jurrasic Pork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnknownFor3818
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Upon receiving his meal at a restaurant,

The practitioner uttered through a smile, β€œjust what the doctor ordered”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Replicatar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Eat a garlic clove with every meal to stop the Coronavirus

It won't do anything to protect you from getting sick, but people will stay six feet away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amnesiajune
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I enjoy eating gold sprinkles with my meals.

I like rich food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RioZX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...

...that’s a moray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monkfish-online
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I just threw up my Travis Scott meal...

I think I’m in sicko mode

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk80Boi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.

β€œThat’s a naan-starter” I told him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Why should you eat your meals from a weighing scale?

So you can have a balanced diet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Are you Tina Fey-mished? Would you care for Adele-ectable Meal? Come to Celebrit-Eats

Help me think of more celebrity food puns please!

The menu includes such dishes as:

-Marilyn Mon-roast beef -Patrick Stew-art -Tim Curry -The Cate Blan-cheddar burger -The Audrey Hep-burger -Hayden Panet-tiramisu -Leonard Nim-oysters

Add moreeeee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsbroesel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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β€ͺMy cat really seemed to enjoy her fresh meal today...‬

It was mousewatering‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says β€œwhat happened? Onions can’t jump by themselves”

the first chef responds with β€œthey can if they’re spring onions”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebiunicorn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What did the Nordic man say to the waiter when he was done his meal?

Thanks, I’m Finnish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHarrison007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.

"Make me one with everything."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatinousNamous
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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And all the vegetables gathered around the meal that lay before them and decided to say grace..

Lettuce pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Enjoy your meal!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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What part of a meal makes you the most sleepy?

The Nap-kin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vZAPP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?

"Can I have the check, mate?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desunator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I brush after every meal

And the dentist thinks my hair is lovely

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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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What did the customer say to the waiter when he asked if he preferred this type of meal?

Of course

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moony-7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What’s a shark’s favorite meal?

Fish & Ships

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daily_Vinyl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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How do astronauts cook their meals?

With a Space Heater!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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I was gonna cook some garlic butter mushrooms, you know, spice up a meal

Then I realised, ain’t anybody got thyme for that.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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The missus just told me airlines are selling their ready meals to the public.

Dad: They'll never take off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigedd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee...

But no. I was charged $30 a pop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today....

His mother was furious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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What did the Australian grandmaster say when he finished his meal?

Check, mate

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arebee936
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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