I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today.
His mom got really angry.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I went to McDonaldβs and ate a kidβs meal today.
His mom was pretty upset at me.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
One should eat a healthy meal before going to space.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Every meal is a Happy Meal....
.....if you leave your kids at home.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
What is a ghostβs favourite meal?
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︎ Oct 30 2020
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?
Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)
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︎ Nov 09 2020
My friend asked if i was getting an Oasis with my meal.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I had the perfect joke about french meals
it's unbrielievably cheesy
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 09 2020
After finishing our meal, my date said we should have dinner again
I told her Iβm too full now
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Why da fuck did tha lion eat tha tightrope walker? He wanted er well-balanced meal!
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︎ Oct 03 2020
I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..
..and it has given me food forethought.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
I wish we had ShowerThoughts over our morning meal instead,
So we could call them Breakfast Epiphanies
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Why didnβt Han Solo like his meal
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︎ Jul 24 2020
You know Lukeβs favorite bbq meal?
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︎ Sep 14 2020
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Certainly," he replied.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?
Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 06 2020
When's the best day to eat a big meal?
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 07 2020
WHat's an Allosaurus's favorite meal?
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Upon receiving his meal at a restaurant,
The practitioner uttered through a smile, βjust what the doctor orderedβ.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Eat a garlic clove with every meal to stop the Coronavirus
It won't do anything to protect you from getting sick, but people will stay six feet away
π︎ 167
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︎ May 16 2020
I enjoy eating gold sprinkles with my meals.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 21 2020
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I just threw up my Travis Scott meal...
I think Iβm in sicko mode
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 08 2020
The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.
βThatβs a naan-starterβ I told him.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Why should you eat your meals from a weighing scale?
So you can have a balanced diet.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Are you Tina Fey-mished? Would you care for Adele-ectable Meal? Come to Celebrit-Eats
Help me think of more celebrity food puns please!
The menu includes such dishes as:
-Marilyn Mon-roast beef
-Patrick Stew-art
-Tim Curry
-The Cate Blan-cheddar burger
-The Audrey Hep-burger
-Hayden Panet-tiramisu
-Leonard Nim-oysters
Add moreeeee
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︎ Jul 31 2020
βͺMy cat really seemed to enjoy her fresh meal today...β¬
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says βwhat happened? Onions canβt jump by themselvesβ
the first chef responds with βthey can if theyβre spring onionsβ
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︎ Jul 06 2020
What did the Nordic man say to the waiter when he was done his meal?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 25 2020
A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.
"Make me one with everything."
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 10 2020
And all the vegetables gathered around the meal that lay before them and decided to say grace..
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Enjoy your meal!
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︎ May 04 2019
What part of a meal makes you the most sleepy?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 29 2020
What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?
"Can I have the check, mate?"
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 22 2020
I brush after every meal
And the dentist thinks my hair is lovely
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 04 2020
What did the customer say to the waiter when he asked if he preferred this type of meal?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Whatβs a sharkβs favorite meal?
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 10 2020
How do astronauts cook their meals?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 20 2020
I was gonna cook some garlic butter mushrooms, you know, spice up a meal
Then I realised, ainβt anybody got thyme for that.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
The missus just told me airlines are selling their ready meals to the public.
Dad: They'll never take off.
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︎ Jun 18 2020
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee...
But no. I was charged $30 a pop.
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︎ Feb 27 2020
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today....
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︎ Nov 12 2020
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 07 2020
What did the Australian grandmaster say when he finished his meal?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 12 2020
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