A lil lunch pun for y'all
What did the dalmatian say after he ate lunch?
My Mexican lawyer sued a cowboy for stealing his lunch.
You can have a big lunch or a small lunch…
But a plant always has a light lunch.
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.
They absolutely killed it.
My friend asked me if we could end lunch after I was done my sandwich. I took one more bite and then said...
"Actually, that's a wrap!"
My son and I were talking at lunch today...
This happened today and my son hated it, but it got a great laugh from my wife.
We were talking at lunch today and I asked my son how he felt being taller than his dad now. He said "I don't know". Just like a teenager would.
I told him in full dad joke mode that I was afraid he would be looking down on me now.
He then said if you feel that way I will get you a step ladder. I said "that would work but then I would be your step dad!"
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
I had a mechanic fix up my lunch
but he didn't know how to tuna salad
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
Don't you hate when the deli is out of lunch meats and you must settle for German sausage?
What is white and extremely disturbing during lunch?
The bully tried to force me to give up my lunch
so I gave him a knuckle sandwich.
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
Did you hear about the workaholic cop who got handcuffed by his colleagues because he refused to take a lunch break?
I got a donut for lunch, but I had to complain about it...
The manager asked, "did you have a problem with any particular part of the donut?"
I said yes. The hole thing.
(one of my only original jokes I've ever come up with.)
Coca-Cola is my beverage of choice when I eat lunch
Its very good in that soda occasion
What is the scariest thing you can eat for lunch?
Eating lunch when my 5 year old hits me with this
Me: good grief in full
5 year old: Hi Full, I'm Miriam!
Never been so proud of her in my life.
Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?
I went to subway and accidentally stole someone's lunch.
What does a suit like to have for lunch?
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
What do sharks eat for lunch?
I ordered the pasta at work today for lunch.
But then I realized I wasn't that hungry, so I boxed it up to take home and eat later.
Because a penné saved is a penné earned.
It's titled "Cheetah After Lunch", but it looks like a flamin' hot cheetah to me
“Dad, we hate when you do the grocery shopping because you always buy the cheapest lunch meat you can find.”
As we sat down for lunch, I proudly announced to my daughter, "Little known fact, the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France!" Unimpressed, she ignored me and kept eating. Not being one to give up, I continued...
"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"
What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?
Half an hour, same as the zebras.
My patient wanted his bedding fixed, and when I did, I found remainders of his lunch.
Turns out, he was resting in peas.
My daughter was making some lunch. I asked her what she was making...
Me: I know it's not for me. I'm just asking what you're making for lunch. Sheesh...
Daughter: <confused> Huh?
Me: I'm just asking you what you're making for lunch.
Daughter: And i told you. Nachos!
Me: You already told me it's not for me. You don't have to be mean about it!
Daughter: <pause> Dang it... <sighs> Go away...
Me: <laughs in dad joke>
Why can't a librarian go on a weekday lunch date?
I also enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table
A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.
Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".
And I said : "Yes, yes we did".
How does a turkey eat his lunch?
What do sea monsters eat for lunch
I went to lunch with a nudist friend...
...and all he ordered was a salad — no dressing.
If you had your choice of having lunch with anyone ever, dead or alive who would you pick?
I would pick someone alive.
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
I asked my son what class he was in after lunch.
'Middle,' he said, 'same as before lunch.'
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?
Where does a wizard eat his lunch?