The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
What does a suit like to have for lunch?
I went to subway and accidentally stole someone's lunch.
I ordered the pasta at work today for lunch.
But then I realized I wasn't that hungry, so I boxed it up to take home and eat later.
Because a penné saved is a penné earned.
What do sharks eat for lunch?
“Dad, we hate when you do the grocery shopping because you always buy the cheapest lunch meat you can find.”
My patient wanted his bedding fixed, and when I did, I found remainders of his lunch.
Turns out, he was resting in peas.
As we sat down for lunch, I proudly announced to my daughter, "Little known fact, the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France!" Unimpressed, she ignored me and kept eating. Not being one to give up, I continued...
"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"
AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?
What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?
Half an hour, same as the zebras.
How does a turkey eat his lunch?
It's titled "Cheetah After Lunch", but it looks like a flamin' hot cheetah to me
A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.
Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".
And I said : "Yes, yes we did".
I asked my son what class he was in after lunch.
'Middle,' he said, 'same as before lunch.'
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
My daughter was making some lunch. I asked her what she was making...
Me: I know it's not for me. I'm just asking what you're making for lunch. Sheesh...
Daughter: <confused> Huh?
Me: I'm just asking you what you're making for lunch.
Daughter: And i told you. Nachos!
Me: You already told me it's not for me. You don't have to be mean about it!
Daughter: <pause> Dang it... <sighs> Go away...
Me: <laughs in dad joke>
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
I went to lunch with a nudist friend...
...and all he ordered was a salad — no dressing.
If you had your choice of having lunch with anyone ever, dead or alive who would you pick?
I would pick someone alive.
Why can't a librarian go on a weekday lunch date?
What do sea monsters eat for lunch
What do you call two councilmen eating lunch and talking about policies?
What does a donkey get for lunch on Blackpool beach?
Half an hour like everyone else.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Where does a wizard eat his lunch?
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?
I also enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table
Two chiropractors are hurrying to finish lunch.
They had to get backs to work.
What does a door framer pack in his lunch?
Turned up late to a cannibal lunch...
I made myself a turkey sandwich for lunch with pepperjack and thousand island. It wasn't quite a reuben...
...but I would say it was rubenesque.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!
They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"
The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says
>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<
Growing up I went to an all-Muslim school. The teacher asked me to make sure that my classmates weren't sneaking bacon at lunch.
I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"
My 9 month old spilled some of her lunch on her foot...
I guess she wanted to try out the avocado toes the hipsters talk about.
My daughter lined up her dolls for the lunch
It seems we have Barbie queue for lunch again.
I saw some people building a new bridge near me and every lunch break, they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins…
It was very civil engineering…
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?