A lil lunch pun for y'all
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElliotNunstedt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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What did the dalmatian say after he ate lunch?

That hit the spot.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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My Mexican lawyer sued a cowboy for stealing his lunch.

It was his Tort-Yeehaa

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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You can have a big lunch or a small lunch…

But a plant always has a light lunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.

They absolutely killed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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My friend asked me if we could end lunch after I was done my sandwich. I took one more bite and then said...

"Actually, that's a wrap!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDewinYourMom
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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My son and I were talking at lunch today...

This happened today and my son hated it, but it got a great laugh from my wife.

We were talking at lunch today and I asked my son how he felt being taller than his dad now. He said "I don't know". Just like a teenager would.

I told him in full dad joke mode that I was afraid he would be looking down on me now. He then said if you feel that way I will get you a step ladder. I said "that would work but then I would be your step dad!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/upcarrotm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week

Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justin_true_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I had a mechanic fix up my lunch

but he didn't know how to tuna salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newlife1025
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.

All You Need Is Lunch

Do You Believe In Life After Lunch

Lunch In An Elevator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Don't you hate when the deli is out of lunch meats and you must settle for German sausage?

That is, the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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What is white and extremely disturbing during lunch?

An avalanche

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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The bully tried to force me to give up my lunch

so I gave him a knuckle sandwich.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwele_music
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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My high school bully still takes my lunch money.

But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Did you hear about the workaholic cop who got handcuffed by his colleagues because he refused to take a lunch break?

He was resisting a rest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I got a donut for lunch, but I had to complain about it...

The manager asked, "did you have a problem with any particular part of the donut?"

I said yes. The hole thing.

(one of my only original jokes I've ever come up with.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veavictis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Coca-Cola is my beverage of choice when I eat lunch

Its very good in that soda occasion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/01134inthere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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What is the scariest thing you can eat for lunch?

A sandwitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Eating lunch when my 5 year old hits me with this

Me: good grief in full

5 year old: Hi Full, I'm Miriam!

Never been so proud of her in my life.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?

I’d Pick Nick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?

Wait, wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PR0CR45T184T0R
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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I went to subway and accidentally stole someone's lunch.

Whoops wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RihhamDaMan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What does a suit like to have for lunch?

Tie food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shotintheship
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.

I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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What do sharks eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I ordered the pasta at work today for lunch.

But then I realized I wasn't that hungry, so I boxed it up to take home and eat later.

Because a pennΓ© saved is a pennΓ© earned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeatHTaXx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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It's titled "Cheetah After Lunch", but it looks like a flamin' hot cheetah to me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muadeeb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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β€œDad, we hate when you do the grocery shopping because you always buy the cheapest lunch meat you can find.”

β€œAw, baloney.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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As we sat down for lunch, I proudly announced to my daughter, "Little known fact, the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France!" Unimpressed, she ignored me and kept eating. Not being one to give up, I continued...

"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?

Half an hour, same as the zebras.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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One lunch man
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fuckyoudieb1tch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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My patient wanted his bedding fixed, and when I did, I found remainders of his lunch.

Turns out, he was resting in peas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarisaberry
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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My daughter was making some lunch. I asked her what she was making...

Daughter: Nachos

Me: I know it's not for me. I'm just asking what you're making for lunch. Sheesh...

Daughter: <confused> Huh?

Me: I'm just asking you what you're making for lunch.

Daughter: And i told you. Nachos!

Me: You already told me it's not for me. You don't have to be mean about it!

Daughter: <pause> Dang it... <sighs> Go away...

Me: <laughs in dad joke>

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m1a1vet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Why can't a librarian go on a weekday lunch date?

They're always booked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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I also enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.

Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".

And I said : "Yes, yes we did".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oleflitzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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How does a turkey eat his lunch?

Gobble gobble gobble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoswede
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch

Potato ships

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glue_gun_01
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I went to lunch with a nudist friend...

...and all he ordered was a salad β€” no dressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtbuddcody
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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If you had your choice of having lunch with anyone ever, dead or alive who would you pick?

I would pick someone alive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yello5drink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*

My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!

Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjarkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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I asked my son what class he was in after lunch.

'Middle,' he said, 'same as before lunch.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m_bowker-brown
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?

He needed a light snack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/delmastron
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Where does a wizard eat his lunch?

In the staff room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediWithBenefits
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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