When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon.....

they gave him the cold shoulder.

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👤︎ u/MilPens
📅︎ Aug 27 2016
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OC posted in honor of my dear father-in-law, who died of cancer today

Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:

“Well, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that I’d beat lung cancer...”

pauses for effect

“...I guess I let it go to my head.”

Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...I’ll be making matching gifts to St. Jude’s or a similar organization).

Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another ‘incurable’ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...

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👤︎ u/bilgerat78
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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I was at a wedding this weekend...

The mic was open for toasts to the married couple. they were calling for any last toasts. I got up, borrowed somebody's bun from the luncheon, and whipped this one up.

This is bread, and this is a toast (raises glass). I love you guys!

There was only silence afterward.

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📅︎ May 11 2015
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Totally got my fellow law student

Our law fraternity, Phi Alpha Delta is hosting a luncheon with a panel of lawyers today. A friend and I in the frat were talking about what's on the menu, which neither of us knew. Finally, I just said "maybe they'll serve PAD Thai."

Her grimace and groan will fuel my afternoon.

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📅︎ Nov 10 2015
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Cannibal

The cannibal was late for the luncheon, so they gave him the cold shoulder....

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👤︎ u/MilPens
📅︎ Apr 26 2018
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