Why do judges have to bring beverages to the courthouse cafeteria

Because just ice is served

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👤︎ u/oyohval
📅︎ Jun 20 2018
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The guy manning the dessert station in my cafeteria got his coworker good with this one.

Worker 1: Hey, you better watch out, I can't be trusted.

Worker 2: Why's that?

Worker 1: Because I'm desserting everyone!

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Apr 08 2014
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Shouldn't NASA's company cafeteria be named ...

The Lunch Pad?

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👤︎ u/tallpapab
📅︎ May 14 2016
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The plastic lid on my university cafeteria salad used to be someone's cat imgur.com/B9LsN5Y
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📅︎ Oct 07 2014
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Overheard this dad joke in the cafeteria

I was sitting in the cafeteria for lunch yesterday and chatting with my fellow volunteers when one of them pulls out one of those shaker bottles that people mix up protein powder in. Hers just had water in it, but she hadn't taken out the metal shaker.

Without skipping a beat, the man on my left perks up and says, "Wow, that's some fancy spring water you've got there!"

Cue the groans.

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📅︎ May 25 2015
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Going to the cafeteria with dad...

Lady: "How would you like your steak cooked?"

Dad: "That'd be great!"

Lady: "Wanta roll?"

Dad: "No thanks, I'll just walk."

Lady: sigh

Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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📅︎ Apr 13 2014
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Where do baby cows eat?

The calfeteria!

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👤︎ u/waldo06
📅︎ Dec 31 2019
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We were having a biology lecture about Pavlov's dog

We laughed and we laughed then the bell rang and we all went to the cafeteria

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📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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Is that John Mayer?

In line at the cafeteria.

Coworker: "is that John Mayer on the radio?"

Me: "I don't know, Mayer may not be."

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👤︎ u/xopher314
📅︎ Aug 09 2019
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Dude, she just totally checked me out.

Right after paying for our food at the cafeteria at work.

Co-worker about the woman working the cash register: "Dude, she just totally checked me out."

Me: "Yea she checked me out too. There goes $4.60."

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👤︎ u/peeohpee
📅︎ Oct 21 2015
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Twofer: How many seconds are in a year? Besides Tuesday and Thursday what other days start with T?

"You don't know how many seconds are in a year off the top of your head? 12. Jan2 feb2 ....."

"Today and Tomorrow...."

These two got laid on me by the chef at my work cafeteria. The cashier aka crazy Lisa was in stitches making him tell everyone.

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📅︎ Jul 09 2015
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My friend dad joked me today in Chem

So before chem, I went to the cafeteria to get a muffin because they're freshly made when chem starts. The only thing is that the chocolate chips are very melty, so it's easy to get some on your face.

About halfway through the class, my friend whispered to me "Hey." "What?" "You have something on your face." I proceed to wipe my face "A nose."

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📅︎ Oct 28 2013
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My daughter gets Dad Joked every week at school

She's in 2nd grade and every Friday (pizza day) her teachers Dad comes in to volunteer. He stops by her class and has this exchange:

Dad: Hey kids, I brought you all pizza!

Kids cheering: Where is it?

Dad: The cafeteria!

They all groan and walk off to wait in line for lunch, thinking they were going to have a pizza party. They fall for this every week.

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📅︎ Jan 04 2014
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Friend pulled this one on me.

Some friends and I were getting lunch at the school cafeteria and one of friends bought a banana. Friend #1 goes "Why did you buy a banana?" Friend #2 chimes in "Because he was too poor to upgrade to an apple." Audible signs were had.

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📅︎ May 07 2015
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Very bad dad joke at work today...

So I work in a cafeteria/catering service for a billion dollar company, I serve executives of said company.. Today we had a very good kale salad which garnered a bunch of compliments.. One lady asked how we made it..

I responded with a "it's a secret, if I told you I'd have to kale you!"

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📅︎ May 02 2014
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I'm not a dad, I just joke like one

So we were starting CPR training in class and the instructor was telling us where to find an AED on campus. Him: "Now, there is one if the office, one in the cafeteria, and one in the pool" Me: "Well it's not very good to have an AED in the pool." Him: "Why not?" Me: "Well...wont it get wet?"

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📅︎ Apr 25 2014
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Lunch kind-of dadjoke

On Thursdays the cafeteria serves pizza and/or chicken wings. My friend does not purchase lunch from the cafeteria often, but this Thursday he decided to "wing it". Being his friend, I decided (since ordering lunch is such a traumatic experience) to be his "wingman" in case he should be too "chicken" to order himself.

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📅︎ Jan 10 2014
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My great-grandfather every day at the nursing home...

Nurse: "How are you feeling today, George?"

Grandpa George: "Sober."

-later-

Cafeteria worker: "What would you like to drink today?"

Grandpa George: "Whiskey."

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👤︎ u/cairaechan
📅︎ Sep 18 2013
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