Any investors interested in backing Gluten Morgen?
Pretty proud of that one.
Its called Shatner Knickers.
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
"Get yo' free cone 🎵"
(credit: guy at work told this one in a meeting)
To make it big, you've got to take some whisks.
I havent. I've only seen them hanging down.
Because they couldn’t find the Target
she got a nickleback
Batman and Ramen
I said it actually just took me a goodyear or two
"You're a few weeks late aren't you Santa?" the girl behind the counter joked, smiling.
"Ho, ho, ho!" I fired back at her, in an uncharacteristic misogynistic outburst.
He said, if I wanted to make it big, I would have to take some whisks.
To make it big, you gotta take some whisks.
Clothes, but no cigar.
From my 8 year old today.
A monk goes into pizza shop and says “Can you make me one with everything”
The second-hand store.
He only went for a gander
I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket. As I was about to leave I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So I drank all the vodka and then headed home. It turned out to be a really good decision because I fell eleven times on my way home.
It will be called FroYo Information.
Sprayed it all over me....Still can't bloody fly.
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
He must be part of some extreme mist group.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
“Are these knickers satin?" "No” she said, “They’re brand new...”
Can you make me one with everything?
It got a pendant.
I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...that’s not my cup of tea
Now I can't read it.
He was a little husky.
I thought, "I can't turn that down".
"Welcome to the towns greatest cheese shop. We have all that you might want. So, what will it be?" asks the clerk.
"Nacho cheese" responds the man
Suddenly angry, the clerk shouts at the man: "Then why the fuck are you here!"
Because they have aldi things I need.
The fish got battered
We’ll specialize in melts.
Da Brie is everywhere
They look awful but it's a small price toupee.
Mechanic: sounds like a flat
Me: actually sounds more like an F-sharp to me
Says, “can you make me one with everything?”