The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
A man with 2 left feet walks into a shoe store and asks...
"Do you sell flip flips?"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when it’s robbed?
Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
The Nordic music store has a category just for Mortal Kombat.
I saw the Apple store get robbed once
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head
The furniture store keeps calling me.
But I only wanted one nightstand
The decorations were from a second hand store
The new Lego store recently opened up
People lined up for blocks
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"
I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."
Today, I checked out at the store, but the cashier kept taking pictures of herself with each item I was purchasing...
I'll never go thru the selfie checkout again!
My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
Where do dads store their jokes?
I went to the liquor store last night...
And the owner asked me if I needed any help.
"Yes" I responded, "But I'll have a bottle of whiskey instead".
I bought a book at the spice store today.
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"
If you see a crime at the Apple Store...
Does that make you a an iWitness
I found a hairpiece at the dollar store today!
It was a small price toupee.
Went to the grocery store and asked for 3 pounds of potatoes. "We don't have pounds", the grocer stated, "only kilos".
Annoyed, I went, "fine. I'll take 3 pounds of kilos then".
What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?
What's the best time to go to a watch store?
Have you been to an apple store? You can't breathe in there.
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
Where does reddit store all these jokes?
The Apple Store was just robbed...
The thieves were easily idefinied from all of the iWitness accounts
I recently turned down an opportunity to open a Dominos Pizza store, because I thought it was too risky.
If one store goes down, they will all go down.
You want to know where I store all my dad jokes?
Why dont grocery stores sell clothing?
Because they don't know what the woolworths.
How much memory does it take to store a joke ?
One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.
I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."
A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. “Kobe!” I shout. “No.” He says in a disappointed tone...
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them
Police say it’s a great a crime detergent
I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.
My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops.
He must be in some extreme mist group.
I bought too much food at the store.
It'll probably last until the end of the year.
I saw a lobster escape a grocery store tank
I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
What country's bees can store the most data?
Every dad stores his jokes in a very secret place...
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
You know where I store all my dad jokes?
Where do dad's store all of their jokes?
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