The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when it’s robbed?
Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
Where do dads store their jokes?
I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked "do they get any bigger?"
I looked her in the eyes and replied "no honey, they're dead."
If you see a crime at the Apple Store...
Does that make you a an iWitness
Where does reddit store all these jokes?
I recently turned down an opportunity to open a Dominos Pizza store, because I thought it was too risky.
If one store goes down, they will all go down.
You want to know where I store all my dad jokes?
What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.
I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops.
He must be in some extreme mist group.
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
What country's bees can store the most data?
Every dad stores his jokes in a very secret place...
Police were called to the local grocery store today
A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.
I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:
"Here's your Nickleback."
Why was Sam the bard kicked out of the Apple store?
I made a documentary film about people who look for deals at thrift stores.
It's called Goodwill Hunting.
Where do we even store these dad jokes?
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
I went to the paint store to get thinner
Anyone: I’m gunna run down to the convenient store and get something to drink.
Dad: you should probably drive, running that far seems like a lot of unnecessary work.
I was working in our store when my son called me over and said, “Two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.” I asked. “What did they look like?” He replied...
I was at the grocery store the other day getting flour
When a guy walks up next to me and grabs some yeast.
So I said, "A man of culture, I see!"
There was a robbery at the local Apple store today.
Its ok though, they caught the guy, there was an iWitness.
I bought a massive Christmas tree at the weekend. The guy in the store asked "Are you planning on putting it up yourself?"
I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room"
Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?
I went to the store to buy chicken broth...
but they said they were out of stock.
I told my friend a secret about the grocery store.
What do Demons store human souls in?
My friend opened a tea store. He told me that every time he stocks the bottled tea products, they sell out within hours...
Business has been Brisk, baby!
I have made myself too many places to store books.
What do you call a furniture store that isover 30 km away?
I asked my daughter if she wanted to go to the store with me. She said “I’m good.”
Why did the sled dog puppy shop in the Big & Tall store?
I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
You know where I store all my dad jokes?
Where do dad's store all of their jokes?
Do you want to know where I store all my dad jokes?
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