Brewskis in the garage v.redd.it/0ve5t1awjw951
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzapost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I picked up a U2 version of Monopoly at a garage sale.

It's rubbish. The streets have no name.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.

That explained the stains next to it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamREBELoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My neighbor was repairing his car in the garage.

He had taken out both front tires. When he went inside his house I decided to steal away only one tire, because stealing both would have made me two tired.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/it_roll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My son asked if he could use the garage so he could jam with his band.

I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagingBone69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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So I'm in my garage and my wife walks in.

She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.

πŸ‘︎ 601
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_little_angry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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If you put your Audi in a garage...

Does it become and Inni?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poopscoop21
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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someone stole a limbo stick out of my garage last night

how low do you have to go to steal a limbo stick?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PTasker15
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick

Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tattedjb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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When I park my Ford SUV in my garage...

I call it my Escape room.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beaver74
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?

Get the kar-ma!

I’ll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bijan_T
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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I left my garage door open yesterday, and someone stole my limbo stick.

Like seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeamRockin
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo pole.

How low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I have some extra chairs in my garage

for emergency seat-uations.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?

It was wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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A guy broke into my garage and stole my limbo pole last night...

Seriously, how low can you go?!

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_-Ruin-_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Dad joke at the garage sale

So I'm at a local garage sale, and I can't help myself, I have to look into the free bin.

there, staring back at me was a guitar without any strings on it... and of coarse the dad joke of a lifetime.

A sign that read "free guitar, no strings attached." :D

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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I still can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick...

how low can you go

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbrady99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Garage humour

Son, I'm looking for that tool of mine that makes holes in things. You know, the drill.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mftuchman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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I caught my son smoking pot in the garage, and a few minutes later, my wife walked in.

She caught my son and me smoking pot in the garage.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?

Because he always stays in the Lois Lane

Kill me pls

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ts84g
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Coworker wanted to put an access point in his garage so he could get Wi-Fi at his firepit...

I guess he wanted to turn his firepit into a hotspot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shutter_87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What did the parking garage say to the road?

Not a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWackyPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I've started a ship building business out of my garage.

Sails have gone through the roof

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howeynick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to a garage sale and saw a radio for 1$ that had its volume stuck all the way up.

So I said "I guess I can't turn that down!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smolest_Ghost
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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Son: "Hey Dad, look. A garage sale!"

Dad: "No thanks, I don't need another garage."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control.

I just couldn't turn it down

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lmYourHuckleberry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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As we were cleaning the garage I asked my 10 year old: β€œson, do you have any big heavy balls?”

Son: β€œyes, I have a few”

Me β€œyou do? Where do you buy your underwear?”

After a few second pause, my son says: β€œDick’s Supporting Goods”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannygumballs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my garage earlier today and stole my limbo stick.

I mean, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartRipper67
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
At least the shaking father didn't have to place his car in the garage on his own...

... he had parking sons

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Why couldn’t my Honda Civic fit in my garage?

Not enough vroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I was in the garage the other day and the neighbor kid threw a small file at me...

Little bastard

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MechEisoducks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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Just walked into the garage and the universe made a dad joke
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
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Why couldn't the dead car drive into the cluttered garage

Lack of vroom

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EDACRA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to a garage sale today.

I told them they would need to move all of the useless junk before I would consider buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostCucumber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A man is selling a TV at a garage sale for 1$...

It is a close to new, 50” 4K flatscreen, and a woman comes up and asks him β€œWhat’s wrong with this TV, to only be selling it for a dollar?”

The man tells her β€œWell, there’s nothing wrong with the picture, or anything like that, but the volume is stuck on max, and you can’t change it at all. So are you interested in buying it for a dollar?”

She says β€œWell, you can’t turn that down”.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsAndIT
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Kids! I found an injured extraterrestrial hiding in our garage! He's missing an eye...

His name is Alen!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I finally fixed that leak behind the garage. No more rain on the lawnmower!

This is truly a watershed moment!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My son and I were cleaning out the garage.

Son: Daddy, what is this? Daddy: It's a flashlight. Son: Yeah, it's not heavy, because its light.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeenjamminR
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked dad why it makes him so uncomfortable to discuss the possibility of me moving into the garage?

He said "It's too close to home".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad was in the garage working when he dropped this one.

http://i.imgur.com/rP4gc2C.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SBF1001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
🚨︎ report
I just found a box of heavy metal LPs at a garage sale.

You know what they say, one man's thrash is another man's treasure!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pabrunthhu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Rabi who made beer in his garage?

He brewed it himself

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyPebbles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
🚨︎ report
There is a bear in my garage...

Oh shit it's coming right at me

Update: I accidentally played dad instead of playing dead and now it can ride a bike

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/womencaviar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Hey, the house next door is having a garage sale.

I wonder how much they're charging... I could really use a new garage!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TBNmann
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2015
🚨︎ report
My wife said she noticed a hole in the garage.

I told her I'd look into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soomuchcoffee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
🚨︎ report
At the garage sale today, there was this RC circuit kit being sold cheap because it was missing its resistors. I don't like electronics but I got it anyways.

The offer was irresistible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciraus
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad likes to help cut up all of our cardboard boxes in the garage, and compactly pack them for recycling...

I joked with him about how the boxes are piling up and I need him to cut them up. He lives overseas so he said that if I buy his plane ticket, he'll come and do the work. I told him that my gardener Ebodio will cut the boxes if I ask him to, and much less money. To make my dad feel better, I (half-jokingly) say that Ebodio's technique is not as good and he will be slower, but he'll be a whole lot cheaper.

My dad's response: "I feel like I am being undercut"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ziggyfro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
🚨︎ report
I was arrested once for taking some windows from my next door neighbor's garage?

I was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I was getting a rabbit trap off the top shelf in my garage when it fell on my head.

It got caught in my hair.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/googie1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
🚨︎ report
So we were driving past a garage sale sign

And the older guy I'm with says, " I wonder how much the garage is worth?"

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashwipe72
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
🚨︎ report
anytime we are within 3 feet of his pegboard of tools in the garage, my Dad drops this on me.
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doc-spaceman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Was driving to pick up a car from the garage with my dad

We went to pick up my mom's red Fiat 500, and as we turned right my dad remarked on a green Fiat that passed by us. He said: "I guess that one isn't ripe yet."

I chuckled.

πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doorhorse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
🚨︎ report
My son left his luggage in the garage

Where ya goin' son?

To grab my bag.

The bathroom has more privacy, son.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/An00bis_Maximus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Cleaning out the garage, Episode 1, starring: my dad.

This is what happens when you retire.

http://i.imgur.com/WDQ2hR1.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skunkreturns
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
🚨︎ report
There was a big black ant in my garage last night ...

When I told my wife about it later, I told her that I dispatched it, Pink Panther style.

"What does that mean?" she asked me.

I told her that it means that the bug is now a

dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant ... as sung to the Pink Panther theme.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dedtired
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked lady in hospital parking garage

I was putting my daughter in the car, which was temporarily preventing a lady from entering hers. She smiled and told me not to hurry; that she was patient. I said to her, "Well this is 'patient' parking...

She politely laughed and my wife gave me a healthy eye roll once in the car.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"

I replied, you won't get very far in the garage

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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Waiting in a line of cars in the parking garage...

Dad: We better turn off the fan, or we'll all get exhausted.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
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Dad joke at a garage sale

There was a pile of clothes with tags on and the sign, "Never been worn"

Next to it was a stack of tupperware with the sign, "Never been used"

Finally there was a painting with its own sign - "Never been looked at"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricksA2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Doing some work in the garage when my dad said this one

Dad: We need 10W-30 oil for the lawnmower but it looks like we only have 10W-40. We'll try it, though.

Me: What's the difference?

Dad: Oh, about ten. Hehe.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepdogg
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Garage sale dad joke

Had a perfect opportunity to tell a dad joke at work today.

There was a "garage sale" to clear out old stock of company branded clothing. I walked in, intending to buy a shirt or jacket. When I saw the table, which was almost empty I said,

"I understand you're selling garages. I need a new one, and would like to purchase your finest garage."

The person manning the table replied back,

"Oh, I'm sorry. But we're all sold out."

I threw up my arms and said "WELL that's false advertising! You shouldn't advertise garages for sale if you don't have any!"

and I walked out of the room and went back to work.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrainAss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife told me about a big garage sale nearby...

I told her we weren't in the market for a big garage.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robot_cousin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Happened a few hours ago: Hey son, neighborhood garage sale is this weekend.

But don't worry, our garage isn't for sale. The house has grown pretty attached to it.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terror_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad and I drove passed a garage sale...

Me: Hey, look! A garage sale!

My dad: Sorry, we can't fit a garage in the car.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNotPamela
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my wife while watching a garage sale show.

Wife: "They think slapping a coat of red paint is gonna get $250 for that thing?"

Me: "Maybe they're gonna try passing it off as a period piece."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimrob4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Garage Sale

Father in law is currently over for a coffee. My wife went for a walk this morning and was telling him about a garage sale she saw:

"dad I walked past a garage sale today and-"

"you don't need to go to a garage sale you've got one already!"

She didn't get it but I totally exhaled from my nose.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidpatonred
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign for a garage sale

when I got there they only had one left but refused to sell it to me!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarke1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad is driving the car out of a parking garage...

...and my little brother from the back seat says,

Brother: we just made four right turns in a row.

Dad: it's a good thing we haven't made any wrong turns yet.

Dammit Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prince_la
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.

Seriously... How low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lexflexluthor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.

Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I seriously cannot believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick

Seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlatusek12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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