(true story) After having my son install an electric keypad deadbolt on the man door in my garage, my daughter says:
Dad, are you sure that new deadbolt was man-door-tory??
Making daddy proud.
Last week, someone went into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Like seriously, how low can you go?
I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself
At a garage sale yesterday I got a George Foreman grill and a Muhammed Ali DVD set...
I've got an injured extraterrestrial in my garage. He's missing an eye.
So I'm in my garage and my wife walks in.
She yells STAMPEDE!!! And threw a handful of animal crackers at me.
I picked up a U2 version of Monopoly at a garage sale.
It's rubbish. The streets have no name.
The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.
That explained the stains next to it.
My son asked if he could use the garage so he could jam with his band.
I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.
My neighbor was repairing his car in the garage.
He had taken out both front tires. When he went inside his house I decided to steal away only one tire, because stealing both would have made me two tired.
If you put your Audi in a garage...
When I park my Ford SUV in my garage...
I call it my Escape room.
What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?
Get the kar-ma!
I’ll see myself out.
I have some extra chairs in my garage
for emergency seat-uations.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?
It was wrong on so many levels.
The wife asked me to reconsider making counterfeit legos in our garage
I said, "the die is cast".
Dad joke at the garage sale
So I'm at a local garage sale, and I can't help myself, I have to look into the free bin.
there, staring back at me was a guitar without any strings on it... and of coarse the dad joke of a lifetime.
A sign that read "free guitar, no strings attached." :D
I caught my son smoking pot in the garage, and a few minutes later, my wife walked in.
She caught my son and me smoking pot in the garage.
Garage humour
Son, I'm looking for that tool of mine that makes holes in things. You know, the drill.
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?
Because he always stays in the Lois Lane
Kill me pls
I've started a ship building business out of my garage.
Sails have gone through the roof
What did the parking garage say to the road?
Coworker wanted to put an access point in his garage so he could get Wi-Fi at his firepit...
I guess he wanted to turn his firepit into a hotspot.
I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control.
I just couldn't turn it down
I went to a garage sale and saw a radio for 1$ that had its volume stuck all the way up.
So I said "I guess I can't turn that down!"
As we were cleaning the garage I asked my 10 year old: “son, do you have any big heavy balls?”
Son: “yes, I have a few”
Me “you do? Where do you buy your underwear?”
After a few second pause, my son says: “Dick’s Supporting Goods”
Son: "Hey Dad, look. A garage sale!"
Dad: "No thanks, I don't need another garage."
At least the shaking father didn't have to place his car in the garage on his own...
Why couldn’t my Honda Civic fit in my garage?
I was in the garage the other day and the neighbor kid threw a small file at me...
Ugh. My garage was broken into and someone stole my Limbo Stick.
Seriously now, how low can you go?
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!
How could they go so low?
Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick...
Seriously, how low can you go?
I can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.
Seriously, how low can you go?
I can’t believe somebody broke into our garage and stole our limbo stick?
Seriously, how low can you go?
Someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick
Like Seriously, how low can you go?
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Seriously, how low can you go?
Someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.
Seriously... How low can you go?
I left my garage door open yesterday, and someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go?
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo pole.
A guy broke into my garage and stole my limbo pole last night...
Seriously, how low can you go?!
I still can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick...
I can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.
Seriously, how low can you go?
I seriously cannot believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Seriously, how low can you go?
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and took, of all things, my best limbo stick.
I mean, how low can you go?
Someone broke into my garage earlier today and stole my limbo stick.
I mean, how low can you go?
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