A driveway isn't a parking lot...

...it's a parking little

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway

I have it all thawed out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/princess94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.

I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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We had an arsonist throw Molotov cocktails at driveways, sheds, and cars parked all around our neighborhood.

It really hit close to home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I left work and a cop followed me home for my entire 50 minute commute then ticketed me in my own driveway.

He approached me after I had parked in my driveway and asked if I knew why he was writing me a ticket.

I told him I had no idea what I had done wrong.

He said that he followed me for my entire commute and not once did I get in an accident. He fined me for wreck-less driving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peon2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my dad about it.

He said there was a great sail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacobob3831
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAccountofBrian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I was standing outside in my driveway last night and the newspaper delivery guy drove by and threw a newspaper in my driveway...

I said "Hey pal, I got news for you, too!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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A magician was driving down the road. Suddenly, he turned into a driveway.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Average_Joe_03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
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Since we park on the driveway, drive on the parkway, and pay tolls on the freeway, doesn't it seem a bit risky to shop at Safeway?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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I was shoveling the snow off the driveway with my son today.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a shovel?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jordanbtucker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
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Last night I was finishing up pressure washing my driveway and one neighbor dad drove by and said β€œlookin’ good, great practice for when you do mine this weekend”, and then turned to his wife in the passenger seat laughing hysterically as she looked at him with a blank stare.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheptown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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As we were pulling out of our driveway and I was adjusting the mirrors, I said to my wife, "It's important to remember, there's side view, rear view and you know what else?"

"I loview!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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I walked up the driveway, and my dad was pulling weeds. I asked how is day was going.

"I'm getting to the root of the problem!" He says.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatsbologna6
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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My boyfriend and I were driving up his driveway when I found out he's a dad

"I'm gonna get the mail. There might be some femail in there too"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitter_box
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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Deadmau5 concert in my driveway youtube.com/watch?v=o4f6h…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatfrappe
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
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After shoveling the driveway, my father in law told me he threw his back out.

I don't know why he would do that. He's definitely going to need it still.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadburycreameggs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
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My coworker is redoing her driveway

She was talking about how she needed the measurements of the driveway so that she would know how much gravel she needed.

She turns towards me and asks me in the middle of her ramblings "How many feet are in a yard?"

Without missing a beat I reply "Two if you're standing in it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjap0wz
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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"Feel free to park in the driveway when you arrive

(not before tee hee πŸ˜‚)"

Actual email from my dad from last weekend, including emoji.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KittenImmaculate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
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I was the first one to drive down our freshly sealed driveway

On the way down, I passed my Dad, who was staring at the tires and frowning. I said "What's wrong?"

He replied, "Your tires are black."

"Shit, did I get sealant on them?"

"No," he replied, "They're just black."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChocolateGnutella
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
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I meant in the driveway....

My mom had a few people gather at our house before her friends surprise party and my car was at the top of the driveway. I was about to go out so I asked my dad, "Is there anyone behind me?".... Dad: "I dunno turn around." Sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pendulumhyc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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