I just want to give a shout out to sidewalks

For keeping me off the streets

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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"Watch out dad, that sprinkler is going to hit the sidewalk near you!"

"Don't worry buddy, it just mist me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaanold
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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She just fantad right there on the sidewalk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark_ryan2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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What do you call a sidewalk that zig zags back and fourth all crazy?

A.. psycho path!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paul092834
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Why couldn’t the toilet paper walk down the sidewalk?

It got stuck in the cracks.

(Made up by my 10 year old.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/123flip
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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We really should be more grateful for sidewalks..

They keep us off the streets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wedge001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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A man crashed his car into the sidewalk

It curbed his enthusiasm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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can we give a shout out to sidewalks?

Cuz' they really helped to keep me off the streets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brandschain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Big shout out to all the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark30322
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I really owe a lot to sidewalks.

They've been keeping me off the streets for years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Shout-out to sidewalks for keeping us off the streets
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rg_the_beast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I'd like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks out there...

... For keeping me off the streets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irishfowler
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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A dog gave birth to puppies on the sidewalk

She was ticketed for littering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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A big shout out to sidewalks

They kept me off the streets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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The mayor of our town has begun construction of all new sidewalks.

It’s nice to see a politician make good on a concrete policy proposal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayneonthecobb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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So, a sidewalk was convicted of murder the other day.

The prosecutor was sure that he had concrete evidence of the crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuippGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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I met a rather old gentleman sitting on the sidewalk crying. I asked what was the matter.

β€œI’m married to an incredible woman 40 years my junior who likes to make love three times a day. She is the best homemaker and conversationalist and she is independently wealthy. We have the greatest life”.

β€œThat sounds wonderful” I said β€œWhy are you crying?”

β€œI can’t remember where we live!” he wailed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCToo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Shoutout to the sidewalk!

For keeping me off the street

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottyh400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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I want to give a shoutout to all of the sidewalks

For keeping me off the streets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Saying
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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I’d like to give a shoutout to all the sidewalks.

Thanks for keeping me off the streets!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk..?

Its all over town.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_eazy_life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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I've always thought kids being able to draw on the sidewalks at school is only teaching them that vandalism is okay...

but I guess it could be chalked up to freedom of expression...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMillionthSam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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Does sidewalks helps?

I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years

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πŸ‘€︎ u/euwrank3262
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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What does the town need when they hear someone has been tampering with the sidewalks?

Concrete evidence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SharkWahlberger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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Did you hear about the sidewalk?

"Yeah it's all over town"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lerrou
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Why are the sidewalks of Washington, D.C. so clean?

Because all the trash is in the White House.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickmidas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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I refuse to have my name etched on a sidewalk.

I don't want people walking all over me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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Why did the rapper thank the sidewalk in his acceptance speech?

Because it kept him off the streets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misinformed66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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"Why are you putting grapes on the sidewalk?"

, I asked my son.

"No raisin.", he replied.

Only 6 years old and he's ready to be a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayDee240
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Id like to give a shoutout to all the sidewalks

For keeping me off the street

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2017
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My neighborhood just got new curbs and sidewalks, which is nice.....

They don't just hand those out on street corners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luke1900cc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I just wanna give a shoutout to sidewalks

for keeping me off the streets all these years

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkavil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
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Why can't a sidewalk be three feet long?

Because then it would be a yard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/locksloxlakhs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
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Why did Sally put peanut butter on the sidewalk?

To go with the traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirge77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
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Today I'd like to give a shout-out to my dad and the sidewalk

For keeping me off the streets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clickclickonsal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Someone who gets rid of him by leaving it in the sidewalk is...

Edit: Should read "Gum". Phone keyboards!) A littering piece of spit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aescula
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Shout out to all the sidewalks I've walked in my life...

...for keeping me off the streets.

(My friends hilarious-ass boss is a walking dadjoke. He posts this joke regularly on their facebook-esque staff site)

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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I saw a homeless beaver begging on the sidewalk.

I didn't give a dam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2015
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My hometown is currently having a sale where all the shops put merchandise on the sidewalk at discounted prices

Me: Oh look, the sidewalk sale is this weekend.

Dad: Why would anyone come into town just to buy a sidewalk?

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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My 2 year old asked me to draw a cookie on the sidewalk.

Sure! I'll make you a Chalk-alate chip cookie. The look on my wife's face made me realize i have become my dad...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bauermundo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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As we pass a homeless man holding out a cup on the sidewalk.

Dad: Oh look, that nice man's handing out change for us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sideroller
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
🚨︎ report
Shout out to sidewalks

For keeping me off the streets .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I'd like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks.

For keeping me off the streets

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I owe a lot to sidewalks....

They've been keeping me off the streets for years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I'd like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks

For keeping me off the streets

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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