I found a $20 bill in the parking lot of the grocery store. I asked myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.
A driveway isn't a parking lot...
How much do cars like parking space?
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
Parked outside my favourite restaurant and ended up with a parking ticket...
I went to visit my friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I found was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
“Judge, 50% of my parking tickets are bogus!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok..... Judge, half of my parking tickets are bogus!
Whilst reversing the car into a parking spot, I leaned over to my wife and said...
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.
I got a parking ticket for being parked illegally the other day and I’ve no idea why. I mean...
The sign clearly said, “Fine for parking”.
I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.
The sign in the hospital parking garage said Patient Discharge.
That explained the stains next to it.
Being a parking enforcement officer has to be the most exhausting job out there.
It seems like there's always a lot to do.
Hey, i need some parking space?
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?
It was wrong on so many levels.
People who pull forward into parking spots are living in the moment. Those who back up into the spot, are thinking about the future.
Parking structures cause me a great deal of anxiety.
I took my kids to a pumpkin farm today and they had an electric fence around their parking lot.
As I placed my hand on the fence I told my kids "I'd be shocked if this is on!"
I have a shared parking lot with my neighbor. I don’t like him much but I’ve decided to try and be friends. After all...
DadProTip: When you back out of a parking space, be sure to say "Thiiiis takes me back" every time your kids are in the car.
Santa doesn't need to pay for parking on Christmas Eve.
I just got given 7 parking tickets in 60 minutes
Barking a lot on a parking lot
You can't trust the trees on the west side of the parking lot.
You know why there’s no reserved parking at golf clubs?
Because everyone has a handicap
Why is the sexually confused teen so bad at parking?
She can’t tell if she’s straight or not
post said that driver forgot to turn on parking brake
Went to an Ed Sheeran concert at Arrowhead in KC. We parked in the red parking lot.
I wanted to say hi to the guy I saw while parking my car, but it looked like he was going through a lot.
We were driving by a parking lot full of cars. Dad points and says...
Why can't Superman ever drive to the top level of the parking garage?
Because he always stays in the Lois Lane
Kill me pls
What did the parking garage say to the road?
Some girl asked me whether i am a parking ticket
Cause i have FINE written all over me😉😅
Work at Big Frog- this is our new parking sign
I asked a parking attendant if I could park on a road.
Parking attendant: you can't park here.
Me: But all these other cars parked here.
Parking attendant: they didn't ask.
Hey dad, there's an unpaid parking ticket next to you on the front seat
Dad was injured fighting his parking ticket
I was visiting my pregnant friend at the hospital, and the only parking spot I could find was in the C section.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.
“Judge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!
“Judge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets.”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Sure. I want to contest half of my parking tickets!
I got a parking ticket for being parked illegally the other day and I’ve no idea why...
The sign clearly said, “Fine for parking."
“Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus!!”
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. 3/5 of my tickets are bogus!!
I went to visit my pregnant friend in the hospital and found a parking spot in the C section of the parking lot.
I had to climb out of the sunroof.
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