Tract Puns

“No”, replies the burger, “but I can tell you you’re going to need an umbrella later.”

“Oh, sorry”, said the man, “I thought you were a meaty urologist”.

A meteorologist.

Girlfriend told me to stop.

Because he had one tract mined.

'Sup, tract?

The professor was discussing anatomy of the gastrointestinal tract, specifically the mouth/neck.

"The esophagus is about 10-11 inches long. If it were 12 we'd call it a foot."

Then he went off on a tangent about his friend in college who could stick a hot dog all the way down his throat. School is weird.

For a little bit of background information, my dad suffers from multiple system atrophy and got a high fever, which turned out to be from a bad urinal tract infection. He has been at the hospital for almost 2 weeks now, and it is really hard on our family, but he is doing his best to get better and throws this small dad joke to lighten me and my brothers day.

A Speech Therapist comes every day to help him focus on his muscles in his face to help him swallow and speak clearer with simple gestures of noises and deep breathing. As she was done with his exercises, she said to him "Can you say goodbye, have a nice day! in a long sentence?" (As in one breath with no pauses). My dad then takes a look at me and my brother and says in his slurred voice "goodbye... have a nice day... in a long sentence".

The Speech Therapist just smiled and shook her head while we facepalmed...

Thumbs up Dad, I know you will come home soon!

When talking about some upper digestive tract issues I have had he told me that he may want me to get a Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. My eyes went wide and I whistled before saying "That sure is a mouthful".

He sort of snorted and said "You could say that" and it took me a moment before I realized what I had said.

A Meaty Urologist