How did people in the ancient world keep track of how many people they made out with?
Russia have just launched a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies
How hard is it to track down a bread thief?
He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.
His name is.....
Choo choo Twain!
Have you heard Beyonce's new track dedicated to Scottish roofers?
"All The Shingle Laddies"
I try and keep track of how much toffee I consume.
Apparently that new tropical storm is really hard to track. I keep seeing on the news TROPICAL STORM ETA
but they never say when it’ll hit.
My boys were arguing about who would get to drive the go-kart around the track...
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
I'm going to have to fire my mechanic. He's always losing track of time.
And "Temporal Mechanics" is a dumb name for a company anyway.
How does poop keep track of it’s thoughts and feelings?
Diary-uh or a log. Depends how sappy...
My wife made a graph to track her periods.
My wife asked how I keep track of all my dadjokes from Reddit. I told her that I write the ones I like on little yellow...
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.
He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..
How do ranchers keep track of all their cows?
This watermelon is from the wrong side of the tracks
How does the Battlestar Galactica track it's mileage?
What cell service provider do track stars use?
Do you know how I keep track of all my Mediterranean friends?
Italy.
(My friends actually appreciated this one so I thought I'd share it here.)
How do meteorologist track lightning strikes?
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down...
There’s a new company that goes in conventions and claim they can track you by your smell
But they can’t do it without your con scent
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
He must be having a pretty good track record!
What do you call a knife that joins the track team?
Especially if it's a good book that makes you lose track of the time
They sure got back on track
When race tracks are worn down their parts are used for other tracks
It’s just the circle of life.
I asked a friend if I should go into business selling curvy tracks for people to ride their toboggans down for jollies...
He said it sounds like a luging proposition.
Do you know why South Dakota has the best track teams?
My dad as we drive over train tracks.
I think a train has just passed by here....
Why do you say that dad?
Well look there,points....you can see it's tracks.
My smartphone tracks my cat's sleep patterns.
Two people went on a hike and came across some tracks. One argued they were foxes and the other said they were a deers
They were still arguing when the train hit them tho 🚞
How do you track Will Smith?
I’ve been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s so many times I can’t even keep track
When I was 12, I was disqualified from a track meet for too many false starts. To cheer me up, my Dad...
took me to Dairy Queen. As he handed me my medium Skor Blizzard he said, "Here you go, a DQ you can feel good about." I laughed and felt better.
Did you guys hear the joke that track and field kids always tell?
Yeah it’s kind of a running joke. The kids always throw it around. Everyone is quick to jump on an opportunity to tell it.
How does Peter Parker keep track of the number of arachnids in any given neighborhood?
He uses his spider census.
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down...
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down...
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