BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard

whoops wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
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Google Maps: Your route may be affected by winter storm Uri.

I hope you’re not in a Uri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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I'm so furious about my postmans route that I pull my hair out

I call it mail pattern baldness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suolisyopa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Much to my surprise they added a roundabout on my route to work.

It really threw me for a loop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahatg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.

I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alarid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Did you know that Matthew McConaughey helped design the delivery route software for UPS?

There’s no left turns so it’s alright alright alright.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Did you hear about the environmentalist who went down the same bicycle route twice?

He re - cycled

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeverGing3r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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Route Beer. Root Beer. Got it on Route 66. Nuff Said.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagmarashiYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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I overheard someone saying that a truck carrying Scrabble games overturned on route.

At least that’s the word on the street.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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Is route pronounced as β€œrowt” or β€œroot”?

I guess it depends which way you go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tartare_Sauce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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My wife was yelling and upset with me that I couldn't figure out the exact route to her parents house in Canada from our place in Ohio.

I told her it was border line abuse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnaEd64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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On a family holiday to Bruges, we decided to walk to the nearby town of Damme. En route, my Dad said to my sister "your hair looks sort of OK today"

He then explained "to Damme with faint praise"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VWXYNot42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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My dad was confused about the route the satnav was taking us

Dad: where is it taking us?

Me: [destination]

Dad: no, I meant how is it going to guide us there?

Me: on the roads

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3CHN4UT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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My geometry teacher said we don't have to simplify square routes in his class.

I thought that was pretty radical.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyLogix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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The airline says replacing old Dash-8s with new 737s will mean quicker flights on all impacted routes, but...

it’s obviously a longer plane ride.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
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My mother asked me to pick up chocolate coins for the kids on the way to her Hanukkah party. When the store on my route didn't have any and I showed up with regular chocolate, she started crying and begged me to go back out to a different store.

I yelled, "No mom! I'm so sick of your gelt trips!"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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My GPS took me on a bad route

It's never fun learning the error of your Waze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pupikal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
🚨︎ report
"We should turn off here, it's the shorter route."

...my dad says as we pass the exit sign for Shorter, AL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dane83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
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Bus drivers keep increasing the rate on a local route

I guess they're taking me for a ride

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scott003
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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My dad operates a motel and cafe on Route 66

http://i.imgur.com/M0R9tHo.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xHaZxMaTx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2014
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We were discussing the carpool a few years ago and there was heavy traffic on every single route we normally take.

Dad: At least we dont have to take the battery tunnel to get to school. Me: Why? Dad: Because then we'd have carpool tunnel syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treyisajedi93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report

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