A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, scattering its cargo
Police are combing the area
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︎ Mar 11 2021
News flash: A sewage truck exploded on the highway.
Many nearby were left with turd debris burns.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I finally saw the new Justice League movie but when the heroes ended up in a funky little shack down the Atlanta highway, I was confused at first.
It was the Fred Schneider cut. Oops!
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︎ Apr 20 2021
I was wondering if I should go to work today, and then I saw some guys putting up a giant rectangle along the highway.
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︎ Apr 03 2021
What do pirates say to warn when the California Highway Patrol is approaching?
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︎ Mar 05 2021
A truck of Vicks vapor rub crashed on the highway...
Luckily there was no traffic congestion...
Humbly submitted,
Dad
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing stuff from his highway maintenance job.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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︎ Jan 16 2021
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
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︎ Nov 22 2020
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...
...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
your mom secretly told me that you were born on a highway
....that's where most accidents happen
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︎ Dec 20 2020
What is an appropriate age to tell my highway it's adopted?
I feel like the 66 route is a little late
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︎ Oct 15 2020
A truck overturned this morning spilling cabbage all over the highway.
It was horrific! I slaw it happen!
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Highway is full of Origami vehicles this evening...
Traffic is described as being stationery...
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Which lane on the highway is the fastest?
The one youβre not in!
( written by my dad , late 90s)
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I just got hired to work a booth on the highway.
They say this job really takes a toll
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Iβm tired of spending money on highway booths during long drives.
It really takes its toll on me.
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︎ Oct 10 2020
Highway disaster
My step son asked me if I was born on the highway because thatβs where most accidents happen....heβs 11....
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︎ Aug 28 2020
A truck ahead of me spilled its load of cabbage all over the highway...
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What do you call tiny dead crustaceans on the highway?
Roadkrill.
(My eight-year-old came up with this one all on his own.)
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Cutting in front of a Volkswagen on the highway
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︎ Jul 29 2020
TIL about the big pile ups on the Cretaceous highway.
They were tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
[On the highway] My wife: Hey, you missed a right!
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
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︎ May 29 2020
Two dogs were walking down an empty highway. One of them stopped and defecated in the middle of the road.
When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, βClean up that mess.β
The other dog sniffed the pile and said, βNope. Thatβs your asphalt!β
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︎ Aug 15 2020
HEADLINE: Vermont man arrested for throwing pickle from moving vehicle, striking a highway worker...
It wasn't a Vlasic case of road rage, but it's still Claussen quite a commotion.
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︎ Jun 02 2020
Did you hear about the highway being built by the college in New Orleans?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 22 2020
What did the metaphysical highway sign say to warn drivers about wintry driving conditions?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 21 2020
They're guaranteed to help you ketchup on the highway
π︎ 22
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I'm not sure why the highway was arrested ...
... but I bet it was his own dumb asphalt.
π︎ 18
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︎ Feb 11 2020
The police pulled up right next to me and my Yamaha on the shoulder of the highway todayβ¦
Apparently, itβs not the best place to play a keyboardβ¦
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︎ May 25 2020
What do you call a sandwich that's eaten while driving on a highway?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 08 2020
A truck carrying Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
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︎ Mar 07 2020
I had a job clearing litter off the highways...
but I got laid off, even though the work was picking up.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 15 2020
A truck full of donkeys passed me on the highway
He was really hauling ass.
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︎ Oct 21 2019
A truckload of doorframe parts spilled out on the highway during rush hour...
It caused a big traffic jamb.
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︎ Nov 29 2019
The guy who paints the center line down the highway came into my deli for a quick bite...
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 27 2020
I donβt like driving on highways or bridges,
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 02 2020
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.
Police are still combing the area.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
Highway to Heaven
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︎ Feb 02 2019
Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.
"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"
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︎ Dec 23 2019
What do you call a California Highway Patrol Officer with a can of Skoal?
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 25 2019
Did you hear about the truckload of pickles that overturned on the highway...
I dunno what the dill is... details are sketchy. I relish any comments with more info about this incident.
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︎ Nov 28 2019
My husband, toddler, and I are on a road trip. We turned on to the highway...
And directly facing the sun. I pulled down my visor down.
"Man," I said. "Just think, it's so bright in here I need to squint, even though the sun is 93 million miles away."
"What are you talking about?" my husband said. "He's right behind us."
groan
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︎ Sep 18 2016
I was driving on the highway and the wife said "You missed a right"
And I said "Thanks babe, and you're Mrs Right"
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︎ Feb 21 2020
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway, spilling everything.
Police are combing the area.
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︎ May 10 2019
[On the highway] Her: Hey, I think you missed a right.
Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 30 2020
A truck carrying toupees crashed on the highway,spilling everything
Police are combing the area
π︎ 18
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︎ May 25 2019
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