I got pulled over in the carpool lane.
Cop," Where's your passenger?"
Me, "Due to Social Distancing, he's in the car right behind me."
Why do they call the Engineer living at 4th Lane "Robert"?
Because his name was "Robert"
I launched the bowling ball down the lane and got a strike.
I've since been banned from the swimming club.
My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!
Which lane on the highway is the fastest?
The one you’re not in!
( written by my dad , late 90s)
What do you call the ride sharing lanes that cut through the mountains?
I can’t help but find myself in the HOV lane while going the the underpass...
I must have carpool-tunnels syndrome
This morning our bus driver accidentally spilled some hot coffee on himself, swerved across four lanes, and then complained about ruining the front of his pants.
Asshole. He should have seen the back of mine.
I just crashed my car in a lane between two houses -- one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Ball, and one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Thank god I was dragged out by the Smiths.
Just witnessed a septic cleaning truck use the left lane for a right turn, using no signal, and then proceeded to drive 10 miles under the speed limit...
Turns out he was a shit driver..
I saw a sign while driving. It said: Bus lane is in operation.
Hopefully it comes out alive.
So my dad and I are in the car heading home and he goes into the left lane instead of the middle one
Me: confused that we aren't heading home Where are we going?
Dad: keeps staring straight ahead with a blank face Left....
Why is the road afraid of the bike lane?
Because it's a cyclepath.
Dad : With you in the car I can take the ’HIV lane’
Me: Yea dad really aids us in our endeavor
Guy in front of me was driving in both his lane and mine
My dad said he must have gone to Tulane university
"I'm going to move into the outside lane," said my wife, while driving on the motorway.
I said, "Technically, they're all outside lanes."
When I'm driving through tunnels, I don't like using the carpool lane...
I'm afraid of carpool tunnel
So I'm playing DotA when four enemies go into the mid lane and my teammate calls out "four mid"
I replied "Yeah, they're looking pretty fourmidable."
Driving down the highway, I saw a sign that said "Uneven Lanes"
I told my wife "That sign must be wrong. There are still 4 lanes."
My wife and I saw a guy riding down the road with a skeleton in the car. She joked it was so he could use the HOV lane...
I said that can't be right because he still doesn't have any body with him.
When I'm checking out customers who bring french bread through my lane...
"Ma'am, do you want this in your cart, or do you want us to baguette?"
Every road is Memory Lane...
Riding in the car with my friend. Since I'm navigating, she asks me if she's in the right lane.
Me: "No, you're in the left lane."
Her: side eye
A sign on the road: UNEVEN LANES
I comment to my wife: that's odd.
Me: at least it's accurate, there are three lanes.
Wife: please stop.
Me: right now I can't. It's dangerous with these odd lanes.
Driving through a construction zone and dad says "looks like we'll be driving in the wrong lane up ahead," after passing a "right lane closed ahead" sign.
Driving next to a carpool lane with my dad as passenger.
"You know, if they cover the carpool lane it would be a carpool tunnel."
Driving in the carpool lane kind of makes my wrists sore...
I think I'm getting carpel tunnel.