I got pulled over in the carpool lane.

Cop," Where's your passenger?"

Me, "Due to Social Distancing, he's in the car right behind me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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Why do they call the Engineer living at 4th Lane "Robert"?

Because his name was "Robert"

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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I launched the bowling ball down the lane and got a strike.

I've since been banned from the swimming club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!

It was a super bowl!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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With a chariot HOV lane
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Which lane on the highway is the fastest?

The one you’re not in!

( written by my dad , late 90s)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LovingDatDee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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What do you call the ride sharing lanes that cut through the mountains?

Carpool tunnel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pure_evil1979
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I can’t help but find myself in the HOV lane while going the the underpass...

I must have carpool-tunnels syndrome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coldrainandsnow13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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This morning our bus driver accidentally spilled some hot coffee on himself, swerved across four lanes, and then complained about ruining the front of his pants.

Asshole. He should have seen the back of mine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I just crashed my car in a lane between two houses -- one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Ball, and one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Thank god I was dragged out by the Smiths.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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Just witnessed a septic cleaning truck use the left lane for a right turn, using no signal, and then proceeded to drive 10 miles under the speed limit...

Turns out he was a shit driver..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluecaddy5000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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I saw a sign while driving. It said: Bus lane is in operation.

Hopefully it comes out alive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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So my dad and I are in the car heading home and he goes into the left lane instead of the middle one

Me: confused that we aren't heading home Where are we going?

Dad: keeps staring straight ahead with a blank face Left....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5ireball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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Why is the road afraid of the bike lane?

Because it's a cyclepath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FYF69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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Dad : With you in the car I can take the ’HIV lane’

Me: Yea dad really aids us in our endeavor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keatonsteuben
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Guy in front of me was driving in both his lane and mine

My dad said he must have gone to Tulane university

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGross1130
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
"I'm going to move into the outside lane," said my wife, while driving on the motorway.

I said, "Technically, they're all outside lanes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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When I'm driving through tunnels, I don't like using the carpool lane...

I'm afraid of carpool tunnel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salbabida_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
So I'm playing DotA when four enemies go into the mid lane and my teammate calls out "four mid"

I replied "Yeah, they're looking pretty fourmidable."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Driving down the highway, I saw a sign that said "Uneven Lanes"

I told my wife "That sign must be wrong. There are still 4 lanes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stubob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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My wife and I saw a guy riding down the road with a skeleton in the car. She joked it was so he could use the HOV lane...

I said that can't be right because he still doesn't have any body with him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaRoc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
🚨︎ report
When I'm checking out customers who bring french bread through my lane...

"Ma'am, do you want this in your cart, or do you want us to baguette?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecambanks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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Every road is Memory Lane...

...if you turn around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corac42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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Riding in the car with my friend. Since I'm navigating, she asks me if she's in the right lane.

Me: "No, you're in the left lane." Her: side eye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2015
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A sign on the road: UNEVEN LANES

I comment to my wife: that's odd.

Wife: (groan)

Me: at least it's accurate, there are three lanes.

Wife: please stop.

Me: right now I can't. It's dangerous with these odd lanes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zbignich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2015
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Driving through a construction zone and dad says "looks like we'll be driving in the wrong lane up ahead," after passing a "right lane closed ahead" sign.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K_Fred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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Driving next to a carpool lane with my dad as passenger.

"You know, if they cover the carpool lane it would be a carpool tunnel."

Thanks dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiddenA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Driving in the carpool lane kind of makes my wrists sore...

I think I'm getting carpel tunnel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slumber42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
🚨︎ report

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