I would tell you a traffic pun but it would drive you crazy.
I hate taking this street during L.A Rush Hour. The traffic is killer.
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop
but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I was stuck in a traffic jam...
It still amazes me how they get the jars that big.
Just got my wife in a traffic jam
We’re sat in traffic and the car in front has a “watch for motorbikes” bumper sticker on it.
Me: hmmmm watch for motorbikes
Wife: suspicious head turn
Me: must be one hell of an expensive watch
Wife: sigh
A farmer attempted to tow a load of manure down the interstate at 5 pm. Of course, it caused a crash and traffic jam...
I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!
Why does the president stop at the traffic light?
Because he's a Law A 'Biden' citizen
What the police officer said to the Antiperspirant after the traffic stop?
Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
My pregnant neighbor was really nervous when the woman who was to assist her in labor was stuck in traffic.
She was having a midwife crisis.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m about to change
My wife and I were stuck in traffic, and I said, “I’m turning round”.
She said, “Stop eating so many burgers then”.
A Police Officer pulls over a Miner at a Traffic Stop
Officer: "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
Miner: "Mine."
I got in a car accident with a snow man and wanted to warn oncoming traffic
So I put out some snow cones.
My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.
Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.
The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...
...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.
What did the air traffic controller say to the angry pilot?
How do you make a traffic jam?
LA traffic is reminding me why it's called the 405
Because anywhere you go, it takes 4 or 5 hours
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.
I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.
Hate getting stuck in a traffic jam...
What does a crow with a jersey accent say to the man about to step into traffic?
I saw Kevin Hart stop at a traffic light yesterday...
Why did the traffic light go red?
Because it saw a pretty car.
I don’t understand why people like traffic jams so much.
They always line up for it.
After the pilot had a sudden heart attack, an air traffic controller had to coach a passenger in landing a cargo jet full of various cuts of select Kobe beef
The steaks had never been higher
Boy, this traffic is ruff
I was sitting in traffic the other day...
That's probably why I got ran over
Why do traffic lights turn red?
You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
Today I drove to work and because of the chaotic traffic I ran my car into another man's. As he got out of the car I saw he was a gentleman of the smaller persuasion, a dwarf. He said "I'm not happy."
I asked "Which one are you then?"
Isn't all marine traffic 'current'?
What do you call a depressed traffic jam?
A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly.
It said "Parking fine". So that was nice.
Why did the guitar player have to give up playing after the traffic accident?
They took down the traffic lights in my town
They sure have a roundabout way of doing things.
🤦🏻♂️
A typist was involved in a traffic accident
White-out conditions blamed.
I present the traffic signs of Ohio
Saw this in traffic, and was told to post here too.
My wife and I were stuck in traffic. I said, “I’m turning round.”
She said, “I know. Stop eating bacon.”
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
What did the traffic light say to the car?
“Don’t look, I’m about to change!”
I was sitting in traffic the other day
Probably why I got run over
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?
"Don't look I'm changing!"
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