I would tell you a traffic pun but it would drive you crazy.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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I hate taking this street during L.A Rush Hour. The traffic is killer.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ecstatic_Box_8919
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?

He said it was because I committed a moving violation.

πŸ‘︎ 376
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop

but when I got home, all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxDorrianxX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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I was stuck in a traffic jam...

It still amazes me how they get the jars that big.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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Just got my wife in a traffic jam

We’re sat in traffic and the car in front has a β€œwatch for motorbikes” bumper sticker on it.

Me: hmmmm watch for motorbikes Wife: suspicious head turn Me: must be one hell of an expensive watch Wife: sigh

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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A farmer attempted to tow a load of manure down the interstate at 5 pm. Of course, it caused a crash and traffic jam...

I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
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Why does the president stop at the traffic light?

Because he's a Law A 'Biden' citizen

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d7my_d7oom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Selena traffic light
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oliv071b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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What the police officer said to the Antiperspirant after the traffic stop?

Roll-on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodybg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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Let’s just ignore the fact that would cause mass traffic
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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A traffic jam
πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My pregnant neighbor was really nervous when the woman who was to assist her in labor was stuck in traffic.

She was having a midwife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I’m about to change

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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My wife and I were stuck in traffic, and I said, β€œI’m turning round”.

She said, β€œStop eating so many burgers then”.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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A Police Officer pulls over a Miner at a Traffic Stop

Officer: "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?

Miner: "Mine."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IS3OO
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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I got in a car accident with a snow man and wanted to warn oncoming traffic

So I put out some snow cones.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.

Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...

...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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What did the air traffic controller say to the angry pilot?

Cool ya jets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1m4h4x0r309
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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How do you make a traffic jam?

With a traffic fruit.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneralMattsamus
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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LA traffic is reminding me why it's called the 405

Because anywhere you go, it takes 4 or 5 hours

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egg27015
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.

I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Hate getting stuck in a traffic jam...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanConChris
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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What does a crow with a jersey accent say to the man about to step into traffic?

"CAW! CAW!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeWiggler
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I saw Kevin Hart stop at a traffic light yesterday...

it was Hart braking.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aa_tree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Why did the traffic light go red?

Because it saw a pretty car.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I don’t understand why people like traffic jams so much.

They always line up for it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrButter8
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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After the pilot had a sudden heart attack, an air traffic controller had to coach a passenger in landing a cargo jet full of various cuts of select Kobe beef

The steaks had never been higher

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Boy, this traffic is ruff
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/br1sK_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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I was sitting in traffic the other day...

That's probably why I got ran over

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Why do traffic lights turn red?

You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I drove to work and because of the chaotic traffic I ran my car into another man's. As he got out of the car I saw he was a gentleman of the smaller persuasion, a dwarf. He said "I'm not happy."

I asked "Which one are you then?"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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Isn't all marine traffic 'current'?
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanjently
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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What do you call a depressed traffic jam?

Bummer to bummer traffic

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly.

It said "Parking fine". So that was nice.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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Why did the guitar player have to give up playing after the traffic accident?

It was a fender bender.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Traffic is Stalin again
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kush1000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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They took down the traffic lights in my town

They sure have a roundabout way of doing things. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A typist was involved in a traffic accident

White-out conditions blamed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arceist_Justin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I present the traffic signs of Ohio
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesignDarling
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
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Saw this in traffic, and was told to post here too.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealitysAtombin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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My wife and I were stuck in traffic. I said, β€œI’m turning round.”

She said, β€œI know. Stop eating bacon.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don’t look, I’m changing!

πŸ‘︎ 235
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teron__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?

"Don't look I'm changing!"

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the traffic light say to the car?

β€œDon’t look, I’m about to change!”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoNamesLeftPL
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I was sitting in traffic the other day

Probably why I got run over

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterbill
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?

"Don't look I'm changing!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?

"Don't look I'm changing!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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