I am a butcher by trade & yesterday I accidently backed into the meat grinder

I got a little behind in my work

šŸ‘︎ 24
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šŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
šŸšØ︎ report
Since the very beginning, man has been panning for gold and using it as trade.

Our ancestors called it the prime-ore-deal soup

šŸ‘︎ 2
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/sanicle
šŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
I can't believe I was able to trade a piece of fruit for a measuring device.

(Banana for scale)

šŸ‘︎ 8
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/NeverBob
šŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
The twin towers of New York World Trade Center are like genders.

There used to be two, but now they are just a sensitive topic.

Also: The real 9/11 pays respect! The world remembers 9/11.

šŸ‘︎ 2
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/amar610
šŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
What kind of photos would chickens trade on tinder?

chicken noods

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ThnderGunExprs
šŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
Told my wife when she turns 40, I was gonna have to trade her in on 2, 20's

She said that I wasn't wired for it.....

šŸ‘︎ 4
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Jalkl
šŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
I got banned from the buy sell trade group for this but it was worth it. imgur.com/jrZ6LX8
šŸ‘︎ 410
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šŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
What do you call it when a woman trades sex for a tattoo?

Tit-for-Tatt

šŸ‘︎ 25
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Malak77
šŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
I tried to trade a deer for fireworks

I want the best bang for my buck

šŸ‘︎ 222
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Matthew_______
šŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
A door to door salesman knocked on my door and before I could say anything he said, "A person's regular occupation, profession, or trade..."

Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.

šŸ‘︎ 2
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Prototype273
šŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
Why is the head sister usually known as a jack-of-all-trades?

Because she's a master of nun.

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
Trade

I got a gun for my wife....................

It was a GOOD trade!!!

šŸ‘︎ 6
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/hayeshilton
šŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
Why did Sauron trade in his sports car for a sedan?

He needed Mordors

šŸ‘︎ 17
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/obrainless
šŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.

They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/BigFootV519
šŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
Best trade ever
šŸ‘︎ 3k
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Bongnazi
šŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
I noticed that 80% of woodworkers have bad backs from their trade.

So Iā€™m starting a lumbar support group.

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/nftpc
šŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
šŸšØ︎ report
Did you hear about the woman who was approaching men wanting to trade sex for a spaghetti dinner?

She was arrested for pasta-tution

šŸ‘︎ 16
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/labink
šŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
šŸšØ︎ report
What kind of boat do sailors learn their trade on?

An apprenticeship

šŸ‘︎ 22
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/fdlowe
šŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
šŸšØ︎ report
Seems like a good trade
šŸ‘︎ 21
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Petey1210
šŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
šŸšØ︎ report
What's the trade name of a robot nun?

Sistermatic

šŸ‘︎ 12
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/air28uk
šŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
šŸšØ︎ report
What do you call a person who trades rubber tyres for a living?

A Treader.

šŸ‘︎ 4
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/pabesh17
šŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
šŸšØ︎ report
As a US citizen, seeing all of these trade wars occuring with our country has me tarrified.
šŸ‘︎ 35
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/clit_or_us
šŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
What do you call a gathering of T-Rex to share their art and trade good?

A T-Rexpo

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/rine117
šŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
šŸšØ︎ report
A customer called today looking for "organic, vegan, free-trade personal lubricant"

I've finally found a way to beat my meat cruelty free.

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/NotagoK
šŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
Why has it always been One Week since Trump threatened a trade war?

Because he's playing chicken with China, the Chinese chicken.

šŸ‘︎ 9
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/infinitecogs
šŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/MelkorHimself
šŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
Before money people used to trade things like venison.

A house cost twenty bucks.

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ralph3576
šŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
How did the economist describe the trade wars?

Tariffying

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/DRH7660
šŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
When I trade four quarters for a paper dollar

my $1 bill is the ex-change

šŸ‘︎ 4
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/garbagearmy
šŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
šŸšØ︎ report
I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...

that's what I call poetic injustice.

šŸ‘︎ 7
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Everwars
šŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
šŸšØ︎ report
Bakers only trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2017
šŸšØ︎ report
How would you describe the worst trade the Boston Red Sox ever made

Completely Ruthless

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/hbsquatch
šŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
šŸšØ︎ report
Bring your kids to work day today. So I brought my buoys. Guess I'll show them the ropes of the trade imgur.com/u1UpGr3
šŸ‘︎ 67
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/welfarejohn
šŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2015
šŸšØ︎ report
Did you hear that Egyptian cotton is now mostly fair trade?

Apparently they're planting it in fair rows.

Edit: Several thousand tons of mummified animals have been used as fertiliser.

šŸ‘︎ 6
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šŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
šŸšØ︎ report
Where Do Cows Trade Milk?

The Moo York Stock Exchange

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/JonasTheRipper
šŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
šŸšØ︎ report
I've been practicing the Dadjoke trade on my girlfriend

So my girlfriend was doing some readings from her law textbook, and I was looking over her shoulder reading the thrilling book.

Me: "WHO's the World Health Organisation."

Her: "Ha. Ha."

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/hodgkinsonable
šŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
šŸšØ︎ report

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