I was kicked out of the Police HQ tour when I asked to buy some merchandise

I just wanted some swat stickers

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👤︎ u/Ferny77
📅︎ Dec 31 2019
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Walmart caught me stealing a shopping cart full of merchandise.

They told me to rollback the savings.

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📅︎ Dec 23 2019
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When a dad is in charge of merchandise.
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👤︎ u/fred_dawg
📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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China is exporting unlicensed Disney merchandise.

Sham-Pooh

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📅︎ Jul 28 2018
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My hometown is currently having a sale where all the shops put merchandise on the sidewalk at discounted prices

Me: Oh look, the sidewalk sale is this weekend.

Dad: Why would anyone come into town just to buy a sidewalk?

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📅︎ Jul 17 2014
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A quick journey into the merchandising genius of Hillary's campaign gift shop. [x-post from /u/JaroLink in /r/The_Donald] sli.mg/a/2aSZUr
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📅︎ May 11 2016
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The most successful business I ever had was selling free-range birds

My merchandise was flying off the shelves!

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📅︎ Sep 27 2019
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Dad joke #1 for me! My dad is learning... Oh lord.

My dad called me out of my room, asked me what I was doing and I told him I was revising (insert quote marks around that for yourself if you'd like). He asks me to look in the car and there's a whole crate full of packets of salt that are all leaking. That sounds weird, and to be honest it is, but my dad works at a supermarket and gets to take home faulty merchandise so I though nothing of it. He asks me to move it all into the garage, so I do so.

Then he tells me: "Actually, put it in the shed". Now I'm confused since we don't have a shed, and so I asked him what he meant. He tells me, "The one in the old house". We own two houses - our first one, and our new one, so I thought alright that's enough; the house is a half-hour walk and I honestly cannot be bothered for him asking me to walk that half an hour whilst I could be revising so I get a bit mad and just tell him straight.

He gives me a little smile and just says "Don't get salty and start shedding tears, I'll do it then".

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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Dadjoked a manager over the walkie.

I was working the closing shift at a retail store where every associate carries a walkie. Before closing time, a manager will generally ask which departments need help zoning (cleaning, facing merchandise, etc) and the associates will help the other departments. The other night:

Manager: -kssht- How are we on the floor?

Me:- kssht- Gravity.

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📅︎ Feb 22 2015
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A man obsessed with tractors

A 22 year-old man was obsessed with tractors, so much so that he had no social life outside of his fascination with farm machinery. His mother eventually intervened, forcing him to throw away all of his tractor merchandise and ordered him to find himself a girlfriend.

The man went to a bar that night in search of a partner and encountered a beautiful blonde. After exchanging pleasantries, the two moved outside in order to have a proper conversation away from the music. As they ventured into the smoking area, the woman complained that she hated the cigarette fumes which had engulfed them. Without flinching, the man took a huge, deep breath and inhaled all of the second-hand smoke in the vicinity.

Staring on in amazement, the woman asks how he could possibly have removed the smoke from the room.

The man turns back to her and replies: "I'm an ex tractor fan"

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👤︎ u/Pablord13
📅︎ Dec 14 2015
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Had a true dad in my gift shop today.

So I work in a gift shop and a major portioin of our merchandise is dedicated to a large display of stuffed animals of varying sizes. Mostly everyone that comes in spends some time looking at them all but I got a special treat with this family today.

The parents and their two kids come in after supper time to look around. The daughters are looking at all the stuffed animals as the dad comes over. Dad immediately grabs the largest stuffed owl we have and holds it out towards his two daughters and wife and asks "WHOOOOOO is this??"

There was a collective sigh from the shop as the father and I crack up laughing. The best part was the stuffed bird's actual name.

Owliver.

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📅︎ Feb 22 2015
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Dadjoked at work by another dad when I dadjoked

I'm a salesperson and about twenty minutes ago I had a family in my store interested in some merchandise, but I was stuck on the phone. Once I got off the phone, I went over to them and said that I apologize.

The mother said, "That's fine, we don't mind the wait." I put my hands on my belly and responded with "The weight is something I'm trying to work on, but I'm a bit sensitive about it."

I got a laugh but then explained I just had to get off the phone. The dad replied, "I bet the phone appreciates that, with all that weight!"

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📅︎ Jan 06 2015
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Are you helping with the truck tonight?

"No, I'm a freight-not"

For those who don't know, in retail and similar stores, when a truck comes in delivering merchandise, it's the freight truck.

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👤︎ u/McJ_swirl
📅︎ Feb 27 2015
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