I went to a open home and the retail salesman showed me around.

I asked the retail salesman "what's up stairs?"

He replied "no, the stairs dont talk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C9SF-Dr0p
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
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Why don't you want to be sad at a retail store?

You'd be at the lowest of Lowe's

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cresendo77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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ReTAIL therapy for the K9's!
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tacomaster9000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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You know, if you have seen one collection of retail outlets under one roof, you have seen a mall.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyduty1930
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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I work in retail and today a mom asked about β€œMy Hero Macadamia”

It was nuts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Philonic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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I'm apparently really attractive to retail workers.

The cashiers check me out every time I go shopping!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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I work at a retail store and two guys stole a calender

They both got 6 months

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Nothing says "Christmas" like cheesy puns. (Sorry for triggering the PTSD of any retail workers)
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Every time I go into a retail store, I always want to buy an item separator.

But the cashier keeps putting them back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mewtwo_Nex
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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All this time The Terminator was just have PTSD episodes from working retail
πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aznednacni
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2015
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Dad joke upon checkout in retail

Store clerk: Can I get an email address?

Me: Sure! Go to gmail.com and click β€œregister.” You can make up pretty much anything you want.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KennethPowersIII
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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If I was the owner of a retail store...

I'd put the torches in the darkest part of the shop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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It's like I've always said, if you've seen one collection of retail outlets under one roof...

...you've seen a mall.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Discount_Dracula
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Even in Retail, Dad Jokes Will Find a Way.

A husband and wife approached my register, and there's a variety of ways a customer will tell me they are in our rewards program. "I'm in the club." "I have a rewards card." Etc. There are a couple of weird ones people say, which brings us to this exchange I witnessed:

> Me: hi there, did you find everything okay?

> Wife: Yes, thank you. points to my till I'm in your computer, there.

> Husband: How the HELL did you fit in there?

> Wife: No, I meant I'm in the system!

> Husband: GASP You didn't tell me you were arrested!!!

> Wife: I swear to God I'm gonna hurt you.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NinaBisk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend who works in retail overheard a dad joking his daughter

A man is paying for his daughter's clothes in the store my girlfriend works at.

Girlfriend: Credit or debit?

Dad: C.O.D.

Girlfriend: ?

Dad: Cash on Daddy! (turns to his daughter and starts chuckling out loud)

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nyphur
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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Got a co-worker today, I work in a food department in retail.

"Hey can I borrow your date gun?"

"Why? Are you feeling lonely?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aquafier
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2015
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While working retail during a sale this weekend

Me: Hi Sir! Just to let you know, the entire store is at least half off today!

Him: he looks around for a second Really? Because it seems like it's all here to me!

Caught me wayyy off guard, but definitely made my shitty day better!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rev1212
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
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My buddy's dad pulled this one at some retail store the other day

The cashier asked him if he wanted to be a member there and he said Yes so the cashier proceeded to ask "okay what's your street name?" He relied "tall white boy from the hood"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qazdthm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked a coworker at a retail store.

This one doesn't work as well typed out, but it's still pretty good. A co-worker was putting up a basket of returns, and he stopped by to ask me where the Efferdent goes. I said "I don't know, maybe you should put some more effort into it."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
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Walked into a retail store, associate asks "do you need a hand?"

"No thanks, I've got two."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MystikIncarnate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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Dadjoked a customer last week [Retail]

So I work at a hardware store/fish & tackle shop on a fairly affluent barrier island in Florida...tons of rich old WASPs (we're talking DuPont heir money here).

Anyways, a regular comes up to the front register with a saw and some saw blades. I took note of his purchases and said to the guy "How do these work? Some sort of coping mechanism?"

He looked down for a second, began to explain (in a somewhat demeaning tone) how a coping saw works, looked up and saw my shit eating grin.

grooaaannnn "Oh you ass, that was witty. You got me though!"

I later learned that day that his wife had died three months earlier...whoops.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Cameraman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
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Worked retail on black friday and a dad came in.

Employee: "The whole store is 30% off."

Dad: "Oh jeez, I don't think I can afford that much"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talking_Monkey93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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While working retail tonight, I was wearing a bag we sell like a hat as I was walking around and shelving items...

Manager says "Take that off, you're going to rip it."

I respond: "Well if I do it will be on my head."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/footstepsfading
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
🚨︎ report

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