Did you hear about the disaster at the department store?

Unfortunately, there were many casual tees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymouspapayaz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks...

He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Β‘Eso sΓ­ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Three of the Teletubbies went shopping at the most expensive department store in town.

The fourth couldn’t afford to because she was Po.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"

I replied, "Depends."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mano_Trueno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Saw a bunch of guys in the local department store, shouting β€œf#ck”, β€œb#ll&cks”, β€œw#nker”!

Then realised I was in the menswear section.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What do children and department stores have in common?

They're both preparing for Christmas ... in September.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine

if he'd lettuce

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpalupagus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
When a department store santa loses his job does he get the sack?

Do human cannonballs get fired?

Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?

Do prostitutes get laid off?

Do trapeze artists get let go?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Blind guy walks into a department store and starts swinging his guide dog in circles over his head.

A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boop108
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that BeyoncΓ© bought a department store?

It’s called Jay-Z Penny

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingofthediamond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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I was accused of taking soap making ingredients from the department store...

They're all lyes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If I ran a large department store, I would publish a huge catalogue of Christmas products and call it the "All I want for Christmas" issue.

And put Mariah Carey on the cover

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I was heading to the department store to pick up some gardening supplies and my wife asked me to pick up one of those tangle free hoses.

I guess she isn’t into the kinky stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheapojoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My French roommate doesn't know anything about the department store John Lewis

She's most likely used to Jean Louis

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/felixsaurus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So I Went To A Department Store To Find A Screwdriver

I asked the guy working there where I could find one. The guy working there then called someone. Moments later a driver who seemed as if he had a screw loose showed up. The guy, "You wanted a screwdriver right? Here you go."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FearlessTheFallen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.

The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"

And the clerk just seems to ignore him.

Finally, the guy storms off in anger.

The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"

The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm going to open a department store that caters to female pop singers.

It's going to be called, "Lorde and Taylor Swift". Seeking investors.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
🚨︎ report
I work in the dairy department at a local grocery store in my town and my dad is a Spanish professor

Maybe Soy Milk is just plain milk introducing it self in Spanish. Yo soy milk

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterQuE3F95
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
🚨︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sΓ­ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alec935
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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