My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...

...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
You guys ever see the price of diapers?

Shit’s expensive.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ziograffiato
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I hear one movie theatre chain will have a promo ticket price of .15 when they are allowed to reopen.

It’s a killer deal!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The price of my air mattress went up this year.

Automatic inflation is great!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sadorna1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The Pilgrim's Pride CEO plead "not guilty" today in a poultry price-fixing case

What a chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/badenglishihave
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw today that peanuts have soared in price and Beer nuts are insanely expensive!

Fortunately, deer nuts are still under a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the oil say when it crashed it's price into negative value?

Oil be back!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woyteck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I got an arm transplant at a great price yesterday.

It was discounted at the second hand store.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WackyBehr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
When I saw the price of the audiobook I let out an Audible gasp
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Regardless of price, Velcro is always a rip off
πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geve4now
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Any able to help come up with puns the include β€œprice”?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knord1308
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the tailor, but his prices were so high, I told him I’m going to learn to tailor my own clothes.

He said β€œFine, suit yourself.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radioclash86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Pirates get a special price for corn.

They only pay a buccaneer.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to sell my old Peter Sellers DVDs the other day but failed to get the price I was asking

It was not a Sellers market

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arrow-s
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the price of balloons keep going up?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tygerhavvk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Hay bales for sale. Good price, under a buck.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ehmeyekayee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
In Jamaica, the price of apple pie is $2.75, but in the Bahamas it's $3.00.

That's the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CeruleanStarlite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I bought two boats at an amazing price. Heavily discounted because they didn't have motors.

They were on sail.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dimer0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know the price of pies in Jamaica and the Bahamas?

I'd like to know the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeeJay999
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Gun prices have skyrocketed recently...

Some people are saying they've shot through the roof!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Telephone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the bee keepers to buy some bees. All the bees had price tags on them except one.

It was a freebie.

πŸ‘︎ 821
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BenisbacK_1900
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A t-Rex sold me a pistol for a great price.

He’s my small arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattBatz1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're dying for low prices

you're a Walmartyr

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahernia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
After a lengthy search, I finally found an apartment in my price range where I can have my corgi and my pitbull.

Thank god theres still a-corgi-bull housing out there

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The prices of tea bags in my city have skyrocketed!

They're to steep.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
He’s the guard that trains the dogs. He has a bone and it β€œfetches” a modest price if sold.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFattyTron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
2 jokes for the price of pun
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. β€œI’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”

Hair Club Salesperson: β€œWell sir, how much do you want toupee?”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the price of sod?

It’s dirt cheap

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ketchup261000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The price on these grapes is bananas!
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WoodyGoodman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter what price bandaids are

they are a rip off.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The price of Pie ( x-post from /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter)
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The manager of a home goods store stops by the lingerie shop to ask about their prices.

The saleswoman says, "For you? A candelabra."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
All the props from the bay watch TV show recently sold at auction for well over the asking price.

When the winner was asked how she could justify the expense for old towels? Her response was that it is still the best way to dry Hoff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whitespys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a serial killer gets a meat cleaver for half price?

A killer deal

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a hen is looking at a price of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4myfortnite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Sofa King low prices
πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lilycat27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you guys seen the price of tiles these days?

I was floored when I found out.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Price Drop
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobDoesStuff
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Really nice bit of furniture I spotted earlier. Just think it should have been Aloha price.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90.

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The doctor's price for my vasectomy was a bit steep for me, but my offer was too low for him.

In the end we split the deferens.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnochChell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When your soy bread prices keep going up and down

sigh new soy dough...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MolzeNightshade
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t stand Apple’s prices right now.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ytctc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The price of bouncy castles has doubled in the past year

That's inflation for you

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StAnger99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I would more like prices to be free
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myredditisbroken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Good news everybody! The gas prices are falling.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
🚨︎ report
These new burger prices are Ludacris!
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brendanoz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear balloon prices are up

It’s due to inflation

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TDubsForever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Gas prices are falling
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Acrraes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the price of freedom? imgur.com/amMcS8b
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LtSpinx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My cat was walking on my furniture, as he does. Suddenly, he tripped on my bowling first-price award and both fell down, the award landing in the cat's anus.

It was a cat-ass-trophy

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BLenciusMount
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the man who was outraged by the price of Apple's new monitor?

He bought one, but he still can't stand it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NatNothan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Prices rising
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HDBeats
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.

It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chris3000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a desk lamp for a dirt cheap price but it broke the day after. Went to the store to complain but I couldn’t get it fixed or refunded.

The store’s manager told me that I bought a one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DAY_DREAM3R
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The price of balloons is going up

Experts say it is due to inflation

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Our local cemetery has raised funeral prices.

They are blaming it on the cost of living.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Is it just me, or are tire prices...

...inflated?

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stien808
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
🚨︎ report
The price of grass fed beef is higher than grain fed beef, but you wanna know what beef is the most expensive?

Weed fed beef... High Steaks!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chefboyclakie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a price of paper on Halloween

Tear-ifying.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSebtacular
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
An Archer was selling me a really nice bow for a low price.

I was suspicious, so I asked: "What's the catch?"

To which he replied: "Second-hand bow. No strings attached."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I think that stores in the US displaying their prices without sales tax is simply just...

gross

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tatlungt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My 4' tall house cleaner lowered their price

I said, don't sell yourself short

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
That gas price is so low I can’t even see the sign.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanharris6459
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I once got a bunch of metal for a cheap price.

It was a steel of a deal

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sebson8
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The surfing shop was forced to raise prices...

Across the board

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Wal-mart has raised their low prices
πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Heard about the price of meat going up?

The steaks are very high

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tarski
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When my daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.

When I get home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gknights
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad joke at work. At my job I have to reduce the price of hot chickens..

My colleague asked me "will they be going cheap?", I said "no they'll be going bwaark!"

Still laughing at myself.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/damnthewerehog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a table at a low price?

Affortable

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/high_rain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why were the prices of the balloons more expensive than last time?

The prices were inflated

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
The price of air pumps has been going up recently

It’s because of inflation

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ILostMyLean
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A dad ponders gas prices imgur.com/bZTHWfR
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K_Fred
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report
A man asked a barista the price (in dollars) of a cup of a cup of earl grey and the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

"For tea, two" the barista responded.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xechwill
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend's last name is Price.

When children are born into his family, the doctor tells them to name their Price.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ihavespaceballs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
🚨︎ report
How do they figure out the price of a hammer?

Per pound

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
🚨︎ report
People were furious at the president of Mapco for raising gas prices

He told them all to go to Shell

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CRobski
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the balloon prices rise?

Inflation . . . . . . . Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Prices of Tesla Roadsters skyrocketed today
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Goes_Crazy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Two shoe puns for the price of one.
πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquidWithBatWings
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
🚨︎ report
No matter how high the prices of airline tickets get

you have to admit they're just plain fair.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ottodidakt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
So, I was buying some metal the other day and I found some for a really cheap price...

...It was a STEEL

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alvbatross
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I found a chainsaw at an amazing price today.

It was a real stihl.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/urbestfriend9000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
🚨︎ report
What’s the price of sod?

It’s dirt cheap

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ketchup261000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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