My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...
...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.
You guys ever see the price of diapers?
I hear one movie theatre chain will have a promo ticket price of .15 when they are allowed to reopen.
The price of my air mattress went up this year.
Automatic inflation is great!
The Pilgrim's Pride CEO plead "not guilty" today in a poultry price-fixing case
If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
I saw today that peanuts have soared in price and Beer nuts are insanely expensive!
Fortunately, deer nuts are still under a buck.
What did the oil say when it crashed it's price into negative value?
I got an arm transplant at a great price yesterday.
It was discounted at the second hand store.
When I saw the price of the audiobook I let out an Audible gasp
Regardless of price, Velcro is always a rip off
Any able to help come up with puns the include “price”?
I went to the tailor, but his prices were so high, I told him I’m going to learn to tailor my own clothes.
He said “Fine, suit yourself.”
Pirates get a special price for corn.
They only pay a buccaneer.
I tried to sell my old Peter Sellers DVDs the other day but failed to get the price I was asking
It was not a Sellers market
Why does the price of balloons keep going up?
Hay bales for sale. Good price, under a buck.
In Jamaica, the price of apple pie is $2.75, but in the Bahamas it's $3.00.
That's the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Yesterday I bought two boats at an amazing price. Heavily discounted because they didn't have motors.
Does anyone know the price of pies in Jamaica and the Bahamas?
I'd like to know the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Gun prices have skyrocketed recently...
Some people are saying they've shot through the roof!
I went to the bee keepers to buy some bees. All the bees had price tags on them except one.
A t-Rex sold me a pistol for a great price.
He’s my small arms dealer.
If you're dying for low prices
After a lengthy search, I finally found an apartment in my price range where I can have my corgi and my pitbull.
Thank god theres still a-corgi-bull housing out there
The prices of tea bags in my city have skyrocketed!
He’s the guard that trains the dogs. He has a bone and it “fetches” a modest price if sold.
2 jokes for the price of pun
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
The price on these grapes is bananas!
No matter what price bandaids are
The price of Pie ( x-post from /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter)
The manager of a home goods store stops by the lingerie shop to ask about their prices.
The saleswoman says, "For you? A candelabra."
All the props from the bay watch TV show recently sold at auction for well over the asking price.
When the winner was asked how she could justify the expense for old towels? Her response was that it is still the best way to dry Hoff.
What do you call it when a serial killer gets a meat cleaver for half price?
What do you call it when a hen is looking at a price of lettuce?
Have you guys seen the price of tiles these days?
I was floored when I found out.
Really nice bit of furniture I spotted earlier. Just think it should have been Aloha price.
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90.
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
The doctor's price for my vasectomy was a bit steep for me, but my offer was too low for him.
In the end we split the deferens.
When your soy bread prices keep going up and down
I can’t stand Apple’s prices right now.
The price of bouncy castles has doubled in the past year
I would more like prices to be free
Good news everybody! The gas prices are falling.
These new burger prices are Ludacris!
I hear balloon prices are up
My cat was walking on my furniture, as he does. Suddenly, he tripped on my bowling first-price award and both fell down, the award landing in the cat's anus.
Have you heard about the man who was outraged by the price of Apple's new monitor?
He bought one, but he still can't stand it.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I bought a desk lamp for a dirt cheap price but it broke the day after. Went to the store to complain but I couldn’t get it fixed or refunded.
The store’s manager told me that I bought a one night stand.
The price of balloons is going up
Experts say it is due to inflation
Our local cemetery has raised funeral prices.
They are blaming it on the cost of living.
Is it just me, or are tire prices...
The price of grass fed beef is higher than grain fed beef, but you wanna know what beef is the most expensive?
Weed fed beef...
What do you call a price of paper on Halloween
An Archer was selling me a really nice bow for a low price.
I was suspicious, so I asked: "What's the catch?"
To which he replied: "Second-hand bow. No strings attached."
I think that stores in the US displaying their prices without sales tax is simply just...
My 4' tall house cleaner lowered their price
I said, don't sell yourself short
That gas price is so low I can’t even see the sign.
I once got a bunch of metal for a cheap price.
The surfing shop was forced to raise prices...
Wal-mart has raised their low prices
Heard about the price of meat going up?
My wife goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.
When my daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.
When I get home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
Dad joke at work. At my job I have to reduce the price of hot chickens..
My colleague asked me "will they be going cheap?", I said "no they'll be going bwaark!"
Still laughing at myself.
What do you call a table at a low price?
Why were the prices of the balloons more expensive than last time?
The price of air pumps has been going up recently
It’s because of inflation
A man asked a barista the price (in dollars) of a cup of a cup of earl grey and the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
"For tea, two" the barista responded.
My friend's last name is Price.
When children are born into his family, the doctor tells them to name their Price.
How do they figure out the price of a hammer?
People were furious at the president of Mapco for raising gas prices
He told them all to go to Shell
Why did the balloon prices rise?
Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.
Prices of Tesla Roadsters skyrocketed today
Two shoe puns for the price of one.
No matter how high the prices of airline tickets get
you have to admit they're just plain fair.
So, I was buying some metal the other day and I found some for a really cheap price...
I found a chainsaw at an amazing price today.