What do you call it when a serial killer gets a meat cleaver for half price?

A killer deal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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Wednesday nights are always half-price at the local ice rink

Makes me feel like such a cheapskate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lepantswizzard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2015
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Ice cream at half the price
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emilvikstrom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2014
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How much did HYDRA's upgrades cost Bucky?

An arm and a leg. Luckily, he talked them down to half price.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I made this up today hope its alright here

Went to the bird store today Went to the cage section and one caught my eye. It was way over priced and all It had was a penny, dime, quarter half dollar in it. I asked why it was so much?

The manager said because it was a nickel-less cage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Disturbed56
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I took my significant other out on a date to the ice rink.

Entry was half price.

She called me a cheap skate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Dadjoked the little sister today.

Her: Wow, look at this coin purse. It cost twelve dollars.

Me: Why is it that expensive? It looks like it's worth less than half that.

Her: Well, you know...it is the Vera Bradley brand, and name-brand things always cost more.

Me: Well it seems like that is vera bradley priced.

I^felt^so^proud

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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Dad jokes can be found anywhere

I walked into a Michaels store today and saw a sales sign that had fallen off its stand from one side.

The sales associate saw me looking at it and said, "If you were wondering, we are having a sideways sale!".

I couldn't resist. "Well, that explains why the prices had dropped by half! "

We knew what we did. It was marvelous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subzero_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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Thought I would share my first "dad joke" that I experienced at my new job

So tonight around closing time I was helping a middle aged man pick out a pair of jeans. I rung him up and told him the price, he looked at me and said "isn't everything half off today" and gave me this serious look. I let out a small fake laugh and said "No". He then laughed and said "I guess that one went right over your head!". I looked at him and let out another fake laugh. I had to resist telling him that I got the joke, but that it just wasn't funny...like at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclemeat9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
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