I think he might be getting a big lump sum.
"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"
They were charged with re-belling.
Because of the unusually high Mercury content.
But I don't owe anything; it was on the house.
Thats the last time I use Tide
I agreed with him that it was totally unreasonable. It should be spring damage.
Because it is a lighter punch.
But damage to the V8 can make you a vegetable.
It was a hard drive.
...yeah, I went back for seconds.
Fair play have to hand it to him.. he got me.
My 15yr old son picked up the first bag, which had a long vegetable sticking out and said "I've found the leek, dad."
Proud dad moment.
She did not hold Up well.
He said, “You don’t have much of a case.”
You use a pumpkin patch.
The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.
Patient: “Is that true, or are you just pulling my leg?”
I was ecstatic, I’ve always wanted to know how to play.
He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blonde hair...
Don't worry--it's only tissue damage...
Only had light damage.
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in t... keep reading on reddit ➡
I can't tell you how upset i am
He is 3 years old, blonde, and has black eyes.
It’s rarely mentioned by historians though because it was only considered cow-lateral damage.
The lawyer said, “You don’t seem to have too much of a case.”
We sorted sorta sordid sodas.
He said, “You don’t seem to have much of a case.”
I defended myself saying "I've barely scratched the Surface"
The good news is that the damage looks to b minor.
Police are trying to Roundup the suspects.
One day a storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his home... now he's in a pickle.
It was a worst case scenario
I can’t tell you how much this upsets me.
With a pumpkin patch!
I was speechless
He's been really into shelf-harming
It sounded really hard to land
A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, “what happened”? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, “go for massage and that should take care of the problem”.
A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, “how did it go?” The man says, “well, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massage”.
This was the last straw that broke the CamelBak.
I can’t tell you how upset I am...
Damages are estimated at $4.81 !
the damage was permanent
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
He's helping me build a case to avoid damages.
Turns out it was only tissue damage
Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.
So this is a true story.
I work a retail job. My friend neglected to properly put his Mustang in park in his space. It moved backwards across the lot and in to a customer's Jeep Grand Cherokee. Luckily for him, the damage was not serious.
Unlucky for him, all of my coworkers (and a few customers) proceeded to mercilessly roast him on the showroom floor.
Looking to me to defend him, he asked, "why don't you back me up?"
I said: "Back up seems to be the last thing you need, I'd just learn to roll with it, you might say I'm pretty neutral..."
The fan is planning to sue, and U2 is looking for a pro Bono attorney.
When asked about how bad the damage was, the CEO said, “Put it this way, all our food is toast.”
I wanted to sue them so I showed the damaged luggage to my lawyer.
He told me I didn't have much of a case.
API - Clearwater Florida - Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition. Luella has been charged with one count of a misdewiener.
The damage was irreparable
Good news is the damage looks to B Minor.
My neighbor's basketball hoop fell on my head and he refuses to pay damages. Guess I'll have to take him to court.
I used to work at a starbucks with my best bud to earn some extra cash after school. Every day an hour or so before closing without fail this older indian man would come in and order two large coffees.
We started to talk with the guy since there weren't many other people in the shop and he told us is name was Haind Sahit and that he was a night worker which is why he drank the coffee. After a while, we would just have the coffee ready for him as soon as he came in the door.
One evening my friend went out back to pick some supplies for refill and had to get something from the top shelf, being a short guy he grabbed an old ladder and started climbing but one of the steps broke and he fell and hit his head pretty hard.
He was rushed to the hospital and woke up a couple days later with no major damages but with a light case of amnesia.
Once he got back on his legs he started working at the starbucks again and as soon as Haind heard, he came back to see how my friend was and stepped... keep reading on reddit ➡
Went to the beach with my family and brought my parents. My wife was making everyone sandwiches when my four year old daughter became impatient and started whining that she wanted her sandwich next.
My dad picked up a handful of sand and slowly poured it out of his hand while saying "What is the matter? Look at all the sand which is here!"
Damage was estimated at nearly $14.
The good news is the damage seems to b minor
They're damaged goods.
His car crashes into a tree, and he escapes unhurt though his car is badly damaged. However, he needs to find somewhere to stay overnight. The man wanders alnog the road until he comes across a monastery. He knocks on the door, and a friendly monk answers.
Man: I've crashed my car and need a place to stay tonight, might I have one of your rooms?
Monk: of course, come right this way.
The monk shows the man to a room, and the man goes to sleep. At midnight, the man is awoken by a loud thumping on the ceiling. He thinks nothing of it and goes to bed, sleeping soundly the rest of the night.
The next day at breakfast he asks one of the monks about the thumping. The monk replies,"sorry, I can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man figures that that's a pretty fair response, and goes to try and fix his car.
After working on the car all day, the man returns to the monastery and asks to stay another night. The monks of course oblige, and the man goes back to the same room. This night, he... keep reading on reddit ➡
A quaint little men's class,
a few with class,
some smelling of a gin glass,
some with eyes of a lass,
the remainder eyeing a lad,
but all glad,
and all present,
youngster of the present,
bearders of the crescent,
readers new testaments,
preachers of old testaments,
bearers of saffron tenets,
wearers of white tints,
weird lovers of croissant,
well, all here, will all hear?
we never know,
lets look at the show
The English teacher, said,
"how to drink a juice?"
i know, said bart the bartender,
"with vodka and chicken tender"
the weirded beardo now angry,
showed he was a shouter,
wanted to be a bart-ender,
while shushing the crowd,
use a pipe, piped up a voice, loud,
"huh" exclaimed preacher pastor,
"no smoking" he said, showing a guilty fluster ,
"no sir" said the voice,
I'm extra maker,
spoke the voice quicker,
Mr.White scratching head,
"I'm an ex-straw maker",
the air cleared.
Proceeding further, Teacher continued,... keep reading on reddit ➡
I'm doing a project that involves testing uv(a) rays on inside/outside cheek bacteria to see how much damage uv rays do. Thanks!
There was a bad hurricane coming and the farmer gathered all the cows to put in the barn. The young bull refused to go, and the farmer was forced to leave him in the field. The hurricane came and the bull just leaned into the wind and weaved around. The storm mercifully let up after some damage to the barn and other buildings. The cows were very concerned for the young bull and ran out to the field to check on him. One of the older cows asked the young bull why he stayed outside in the storm weaving etc? "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down" was the reply.
There was some kaleateral damage
He must have it in his Genes.
But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.
Nailin' The Kelvin
Labor Of Love
Hella Bar Talk
Enterprising Young Men
Nice To Meld You
Run And Shoot Offense
Does It Still McFly?
Nero Death Experience
Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns
Back From Black
That New Car Smell
To Boldly Go
Star Trek Into Darkness
Logos / Pranking The Natives
Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps
Sub Prime Directive
The Kronos Wartet
Ship To Ship
Earthbound And Down
Warp Core Values
Buying The Space Farm
The San Fran Hustle
Star Trek Main Theme
Star Trek Beyond
Logo and Prosper
Thank Your Lucky Star Date
Night on the Yorktown
The Dance of the Nebula
A Swarm Reception
Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard
The damage was not a parent.
I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the spiciest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at the damage and determines that the man will need a metal plate placed at the roof of his mouth. The man is relieved but can't help asking the doctor if he will still be able to enjoy his hollandaise sauce. The doctor reassures the man that his new plate will be made of chrome. The man was curious, so he asked if chrome was the best choice. The doctor responded with "Oh don't worry, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her "will you marry me?" Now she says "I like your style, youre a good looking guy, a bit scruffy but I like you. Tell you what I will marry you if you can become a frosted cheerio" So our guy goes back with a determination and gets a job and starts to pay off his debts. Now by having a job and his debts paid he becomes a level 1 cheerio. So he works, and he works, and he works, and he WORKS and he finally becomes a level 2 cheerio. Now he goes back to the princess and askes her again, "will... keep reading on reddit ➡
In my business law class we were discussing this court case. In the case, a woman named Courtney was hitting off the tee box at a country club and sliced the shot off the course. The ball hit a guy who was working on a nearby roof, and gave him permanent brain damage. Our professor then asked us who we thought was responsible for the damages: the golf course, the course designer, or the woman. A student in the back asks "Well what if Courtney was drunk while she was playing" to which our professor responded
"Well then we would just have a classic case of drinking... and driving."
I'm still not sure which was louder, my friend and I bursting out laughing or the collective groan that filled the room.
"So I'll attack with these two guys."
"Okay. I'll take five."
"That's fine, but when you come back we need to figure out how much damage this is."
I pulled my chopsticks out of the paper sleeve they come in, and one of them was broken at the tip.
Me: "Damn. One of my chopsticks is messed up."
Dad: "They may be damaged, but they'll do in a pinch!"
I facepalmed as he started cracking up.
My Dad tells this story all the time. He goes into great detail about what we bought at the mall and what the pig looked like, just to make it more believable. It usually takes a good 20 minutes to tell the story, it's nearly impossible to keep a straight face.
Did I ever tell you about the time we hit a pig on the highway? We were driving home from the mall and all of a sudden, BAM, we hit a pig. We didn't know what to do. The car wasn't damaged and we couldn't see what happened to the pig, so we just drove home. That night, we get a phone call and it's the police. "Sir, were you driving on I85 this afternoon", the police officer says. "Yes, I was officer" "Did you know it's against the law to leave the scene after running over a farm animal? That will be a $500 fine", says the officer. "No sir I didn't know it was against the law. But I've got to ask, how did you know it was me that ran over the pig?" The police officer responds, "The pig squealed"
The lawyer said, “You don’t have much of a case.”
He said you don’t have much of a case.
You use a pumpkin patch.
You use a pumpkin patch.
You use a pumpkin patch.
The lawyer said, “You don’t have much of a case.”