Thought I just saw Shaggy in the supermarket...
I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
The worst part of spanking a disobedient child at a supermarket is....
......having absolutely no idea whose child it is.
I walked into a supermarket and saw 1/2 watermelon.....
Why is it i shop at Wholefoods and see this?
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
Actual dad joke I heard in the supermarket
A dad was with his daughter and she was looking for hair dye and he said... "Don't get that red colour you got last time, it made you a transginger"
Breaking News. Total caos and panic as Germans are flooding supermarkets to buy sausages and cheese
That’s a wurst kase scenario
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket..
They lied, everyone else had their clothes on
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket ...
they lied, everybody else had their clothes on.
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
A guy threw a block of cheese at me in the supermarket
I said to him “now that’s no very mature now is it?”
A local supermarket was giving away 100% free face masks
But there were no strings attached.
This is a DAIRY problem for supermarkets all around the world
I really want to buy one those supermarket checkout dividers.
But the lady behind the till keeps putting it back
Where do you find eggs in a supermarket?
My wife and I were walking into the supermarket when we saw cherries prominently displayed near the entrance.
Looking at the price, I said to her, "Damn, they're cherribly expensive!".
How often does the Japanese supermarket restock their milk supply?
I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
Someone in a supermarket is eager to join the pun-community
What are supermarkets in the afterlife called?
Just got back from the supermarket - there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piñatas.
I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.
I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...
I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.
Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"
A thief has stolen all the hand sanitizer from the supermarket
he seems to have made a clean getaway
So I’m rolling through the supermarket and I see these Bare Skin condoms...
And all I can think is, “God please let it be panda”.
The guy in front of me in the supermarket was just told they were out of breathmints. He did not like that.
I was recently promoted on the supermarket security team to look out for people taking 11 items through the "10 items or less" checkout...
I am now a counter-terrorism officer.
What did the composer take to the supermarket?
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
I was queuing up to get into the supermarket yesterday. Dwayne Johnson was in front of me. Behind me was a fish holding the trolley above his head!
I was between The Rock and a hard Plaice
A Scottish Dad joke. How long do you think you’ll be at the Supermarket?
I saw a guy wearing a sombrero buying paella at the supermarket.
I thought oh my god Hispanic buying
I was in the supermarket when a guy threw a block of cheese at me.
I looked over at him and shouted, “Well that’s not very mature is it??”
King Louie once went to a supermarket.
Helper: Excuse me sir, can I help you with something?
Louie: No, I'm just Louie King.
You should know you can help to recycle dead batteries and return them in most supermarkets
Apparently if you buy cabbage from coles supermarkets you are legally obligated to buy carrots and mayonnaise
Sign at the entrance to the car park of our local Lidl (discount supermarket)
A man lost his keys in the supermarket, so when he returned to his car, he just rubbed his ass against it
He was wearing khaki trousers
What do you call a dwarf in a supermarket?
Did you hear the supermarket took its entire breakfast aisle, put it on a truck, and started giving items out all over town?
They call it the Universal Cereal Bus.
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl"
The actor who played Bilbo is really upset that a supermarket opened up right next to his house.
Unexpected item in the Baggins area.
My old man always thought he was hilarious in the supermarket; whenever the cashier asked “would he would like the milk in a bag”
He would reply, “No, just leave it in the carton”
I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area,
Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
They said a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket ...
they lied, everyone else had their clothes on.
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket
They lied, everyone else has clothes on