Self Service Puns

So I walked in and hired myself.

Thinking this was one of the coolest ideas I've ever heard of, I said to them, "suit yourself."

Machine pumps out 3 brand new one dollar bills

Brother: "Man, those are crisp!"

Me: sniffs bills "...Minty"

I guess it's my own fault for using the self service checkout lane.

I don't know if this counts, but we were just shopping, the self service scanner says someone will be with you shortly, man comes over, husband says "nice to meet you someone". Our daughter actually groaned and put her head in her hands

I was having dinner with my family when I remembered a joke from this sub. I thought, "Hey, I could get a couple groans from this."

Me: "Why should you always arrive at the tennis court before it opens?"

Dad: "Why?"

Me: "First come, first serve."

Everyone gave a slight chuckle after that.

Dad: "So if you're all alone, would it be self-service?"

I was so stunned by how clever he out-dadjoked me.