Why did the bacteria use the employee entrance?
What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?
Employee: Boss, can I have a week off for Christmas?
Boss: It's May
Employee: Boss, may I have a week off for Christmas?
(I'll see myself out.)
A man attacked an employee at a Starbucks
The crime was considered a coffee mug.
A disgruntled employee of an axe throwing establishment was leaving one-star Yelp reviews
Apparently it was a real hatchet job
What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch that it might be me.
Pizza Hut employee: “Would you like a contactless delivery?
Yes, I’d prefer they wear glasses.
What did the produce employee say to the customer as they walked in?
My Italian employee is useless at labelling products
I told him plenty of times to tag a telly but he kept rushing off to the pasta aisle
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I got into a fight with an employee at my local hardware store today!
He asked if I wanted decking...
Lucky I got the first punch in
What do you say when your employee complains about his constipation?
A poor workman blames his stools.
So I was out at the museum with my daughter today and got the ultimate dad joke in. Employee asks kids "Does anyone know the difference between a Crocodile and an Alligator?"
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
I found this Arhaus employee tag yesterday... In the middle of the street
imgur.com/DZvBeYe
Why was the bullet a bad employee?
It only did its job after it was fired.
A disgruntled Google Cloud employee asked me for advice on how he could get back at his boss. I told him...
"Don't forget to tip your server."
What do you call a hot apple employee?
A joke I thought of in elementary school: what did the dragon say to the bad employee?
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for delivery?
The scarecrow won employee of the month at work today
he was outstanding in the field
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee “Do you have any books by Shakespeare?”
Employee: Of course sir. Which one?
Me: William.
Why didn't the angry customer want to hear what the employee had to say?
She wasn't Karen about any opinion but her own.
How do monkeys solve employee focus decline issues?
Transfer them to a different branch
Me to home Depot employee: I want to see your grills
Home Depot employee who happens to be Nelly who has fallen on hard times: you want to see my what?
Why did the egg farmer have to fire his funniest employee?
He cracked too many yolks.
The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.
[Looking over cart full of TP]
Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"
I was picking through the turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but I couldn't find one big enough for my family. I turned to the employee and asked, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
“No, sir," he replied. "They're dead.
Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
What's a Boeing employee's favorite time of day?
My boss said he'd fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My employee asked me what does it take to be a star performer..
Me: Mostly Hydrogen and Helium
"Uh yeah I'm walking around your store barefoot and creating a hygiene problem, Mr.foot locker employee."
My boss said he is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
I met a Russian nurse, she was employee of the month, I asked if she'd won anything. She said Da, award
I proceeded to walk into the door of the ward she'd won
McDonald’s employee: “sir, please get down from the table”
Me: NO! pouring fries all over the floor I asked for TWO LARGE FRIES and you gave me hundreds of little ones”
I went to the bookstore and asked an employee, “Do you have anything by Shakespeare?”
He said, “Of course. Which one?”
Me: “William.”
Why did the scarecrow got the employee of the month?
Because he was outstanding in his field
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
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