Co worker pun
My co worker said there was a herd of bicycle cops that just went by.
I asked "What was their horse power?"
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
I asked my co-worker, "Bro, you want this pamphlet?"
There are very few female postal workers..
because the post office is Mail dominated...
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:
None of my Co-workers are left handed.
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
Why doesn’t Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?
They’re technically Elf employed
What’s a construction workers favorite song?
I was in McDonald's and I ask the worker how much for a big mac and fries
She said she didn't know, so I said roughly.
So in a deep voice she said "I DON'T KNOOOOW"
What did the mill worker say to the thresher?
You're cutting against the grain.
I heard that Santa’s workers don’t like to share their toys.
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.
But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.
Why are leather workers the best kind of crafstmen?
Because they always give it their awl
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.
He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.
If a sex worker farts....
....Is it called a prostitoot?
I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.
It was a real paradigm shift.
Why does HP treat it's assembly workers so badly?
Because if they lovedcrafting them, they'd become eldritch horrors
I asked my local locksmith why he's still open during these crazy times. Turns out he's a key worker.
So is the piano shop owner next door.
A roofer was decapitated today while telling a dirty joke to his co-worker
I'm not sure what the joke was, but somebody should get his head out of the gutter.
My son and his co-worker are janitors who moved in together.
They’re broommates who sweep together.
From my co worker: What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Why are the best tech workers found underwater?
Because they're algae-rithms.
Where do iron workers live?
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Why did the socialist kill all the average workers at his factory?
He wanted to cease the means of production
Jim Carey would be a very good worker at a clock factory.
He could just sit around all day making faces.
My father was a great wood worker,
until the termites really took their toll.
As my impeccably dressed co-worker has aged, incontinence has set in.
He went from dapper Dan to diaper Dan.
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.
The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:
Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.
The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.
Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.
The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.
Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.
The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.
Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.
Just don't try to start something....
LPT: If you don't want to buy sandwiches to your co-workers, just buy them with mistakes: Other kind of bread, other size...
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
Why did the worker wear his nametag upside down?
When he looked down at his nametag, it was the right side up to him.
Did you hear about the near sighted construction worker who lost his glasses?
He really fell into his work.
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?
They are always looking for more proof!
If plumbers have plumbers crack what do construction workers have?
Asphalt
(My dads been telling this one since I was 12, never heard it anywhere else 😂)
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker
but when I got home, all the signs were there
I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.
But when I got home, all the signs were there
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