Co worker pun

My co worker said there was a herd of bicycle cops that just went by. I asked "What was their horse power?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrobeRogers
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker

But when I got home all the signs were there

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piemamamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my co-worker, "Bro, you want this pamphlet?"

He said, "Brochure."

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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There are very few female postal workers..

because the post office is Mail dominated...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mike_OxonFaier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together

We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:

How’s the fission, John?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
None of my Co-workers are left handed.

We get along all right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ffjuice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.

If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akodo1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Why doesn’t Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?

They’re technically Elf employed

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What’s a construction workers favorite song?

Running With The Level!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendaryBroku
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I was in McDonald's and I ask the worker how much for a big mac and fries

She said she didn't know, so I said roughly.

So in a deep voice she said "I DON'T KNOOOOW"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sentinel_UK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the mill worker say to the thresher?

You're cutting against the grain.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdxp2b
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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I heard that Santa’s workers don’t like to share their toys.

They are very Elfish.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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2 metal workers got married....

It was a beautiful welding.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.

But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/llcoolg72
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why are leather workers the best kind of crafstmen?

Because they always give it their awl

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiveFingeredKing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.

He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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If a sex worker farts....

....Is it called a prostitoot?

πŸ‘︎ 205
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to think employers valued their workers, until yesterday when I worked a full day, but only got paid twenty cents. I see my boss entirely differently now after that.

It was a real paradigm shift.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotNIpsyRussell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does HP treat it's assembly workers so badly?

Because if they lovedcrafting them, they'd become eldritch horrors

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smiling_Cannibal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my local locksmith why he's still open during these crazy times. Turns out he's a key worker.

So is the piano shop owner next door.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthVarn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A roofer was decapitated today while telling a dirty joke to his co-worker

I'm not sure what the joke was, but somebody should get his head out of the gutter.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcsmurf112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and his co-worker are janitors who moved in together.

They’re broommates who sweep together.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
From my co worker: What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostlyGary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Hard worker
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EightPi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why are the best tech workers found underwater?

Because they're algae-rithms.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_strife
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do iron workers live?

Anvillie!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maximus_Prime250
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...

He said no, but it was worth a shot.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingmanEXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbrasky43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the socialist kill all the average workers at his factory?

He wanted to cease the means of production

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Jim Carey would be a very good worker at a clock factory.

He could just sit around all day making faces.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aussiefrzz16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was a great wood worker,

until the termites really took their toll.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamsD351GN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
As my impeccably dressed co-worker has aged, incontinence has set in.

He went from dapper Dan to diaper Dan.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don't try to start something....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinnieTheEeyore
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you don't want to buy sandwiches to your co-workers, just buy them with mistakes: Other kind of bread, other size...

Sorry, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time

I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker wear his nametag upside down?

When he looked down at his nametag, it was the right side up to him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohpolary
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the near sighted construction worker who lost his glasses?

He really fell into his work.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?

They are always looking for more proof!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
If plumbers have plumbers crack what do construction workers have?

Asphalt (My dads been telling this one since I was 12, never heard it anywhere else πŸ˜‚)

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterGriimm
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I needed to get my locks changed, but all the locksmiths were closed... I thought they were key workers?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:

How’s the fission, John?

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa_G_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I never wanted to believe that my brother was stealing from his job as a road worker

but when I got home, all the signs were there

πŸ‘︎ 676
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlashHash
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I refused to believe my son got fired as a road worker for theft.

But when I got home, all the signs were there

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edotri
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report

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