No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
Why it’s hard to teach Aussie’s how to play chess?
Because they think every check is check mate
Why is it so hard for T. Rex to play the piano?
I used to play the triangle in a Reggae band but I left though
It was just one ting after another.
Earlier my friend used to play Badminton but then he got some training. Now he plays Goodminton.
What do you call a group of whales play instruments?
If you're into gaming history, then you must play on the classic consoles,
Trying to play the new official Rick Astley boardgame.
But the instructions just say ‘You know the rules, and so do I”
Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.
Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.
I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.
Best game to play on a huge boat?
Do you know what happens when you play a country record backwards?
Your truck comes back, your wife comes back, your dog comes back, your trailer isn’t flooded...
If Father Christmas played soccer, what position would he play ?
My kid wanted to play 2d life.
So I installed 4 installs of half-life.
What is something a Christian kid plays?
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
I heard they want to find a new actor to play Iron Man
Guess they'll need to cast someone.
I was asked to play the triangle in our local symphony orchestra! But I quit because . . .
It was just one ting after another.
Why don’t they play poker in the savanna?
There’s too many cheetahs.
I was surprised that the only gift I got for my birthday was a bucket of Play-Doh.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...
..so we stopped and went home.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
They don’t have any organs.
What is the best kind of music to play before Christmas?
What do you call a big cat that doesn't play by the rules?
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
An American, landing in India: Does anyone here know how to play baseball?
You know the problem with watching someone play a racing game?
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What did the musician play that landed him in jail?
When I play battleship I like to arrange my ships in the shape of states...
What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?
Why do cows never play chess?
Because they can’t make any mooooooooove
Some say there is no way for a woman to play Cat Woman correctly
I play minesweeper while my wife cleans the house...
Because she is dealing with hersweeper
Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.
But they are a major second.
My wife plays soccer with her hands.
What sport do villains play the most?
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.
Have you heard of the Christmas game that Germans play?
My teammates hate that I don’t pass when I play hockey.
I honestly don’t give a puck.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
They don't have any organs.
What’s the best city in Kansas to play Hide-and-Seek?
Invented by an 8 year old.
Conversation with my 2y old son: What will happen if the moon falls down? Me: Hmm. Maybe we can play football with it?
Son: Nah. The moon has no legs.
Why can't skeletons play competitive sports?
They don't have any skin in the game.
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.