My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
Take responsibility for your actions.
πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KyserSoze94
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
This is just an ovary-action!
πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seesakogoli
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chef’s squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.

I guess you could say Remy is Linguini’s voice of season

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Hollywood is going to make an action movie about the great composers.

Sylvester Stallone said "I'll be Beethoven".

Bruce Willis said "I'll be Mozart".

Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What happened to the pilgrims who were involved in a class action lawsuit.

They reached a settlement.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
You know, we probably could have stopped Coronavirus if we took action last year...

Oh well. You know what they say, hindsight is 2020!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hangmandelta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Hey kids! Get in here! We're playing Quake with a bunch of cows, and then watching a Disney live action remake about a legendary female warrior!

It's our Moo-LAN party!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
Action Movie

Have you heard about the Bollywood action movie about a baker? Critics say it's naan stop action.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalebWilliamson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Why don’t people take action against global warming?

Some people just want to watch the world burn

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/punk_loki
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.

She said "Aisle B, back".

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.

. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

β€œNobody puts baby in a coroner”

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think Bruce Willis will always make action movies?

Because you know what they say about old habits. They...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.

I just dodged a bullet.

πŸ‘︎ 197
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Action movies are just like camping

They can both get really in-tents

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkwardnsad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was key grip on a film set once, when the guy who yells "action" tripped on a cable and sliced himself open...

It was the director's cut.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.

I handed her the dictionary.

πŸ‘︎ 469
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard Netflix is making a live action 'My Hero Acedemia' with Matthew Mcconaughey...

Hes going to star as All Might, All Might, All Might.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is most likely to take legal action against the others?

The sue-saphone

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doug_The_Plug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m so lazy, if I were an action figure,

The action would be sold separately.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Help! I can’t stop collecting Wonder Woman action figures!

I’m a heroine addict.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an average potato who tells you the play-by-play action in sports?

Commentator.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopusapult
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
When you are watching a cop movie and want to go right to the action scene

I'm gonna cut right to the chase

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/X-Drakken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Said something motivational before this and I sprung into action.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacotimothyp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Pelvis wants a little less conversation and a little more action please
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/murdo316
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/auroraborora
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I was reading a piece of fan fiction about a girl so beautiful, all the heroes wanted to make her their wife, yet so powerful, no villain dared fighting her. They rather sought legal action against her.

Had to lay it down, I can't stand these marry/sue charakters.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clotting_Agent
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a new action video game where you build whole digital worlds but there's no sound.

Its called Mimecraft

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
In the new live action Aladdin movie the villain is getting a chubby sidekick.

They’ll be called Jafar and Wide.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markydsade
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
People who've never had sex in life can never be good actors, they might get lights, camera, but they never get action.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/syheadafsar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Have y'all heard about the Jewish action-movie star?

I think his name is Sylvester Shalom

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
PMSing is an ovary action
πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellyourcomputer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Action words such as give, take, obey and untie are all said the same way.

Verbally

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the action of opening a bag of popcorn called?

Cracking Wise.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanahil
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna write a gritty action movie about a mathematician who loses his memory and has to uncover a conspiracy inside the Berlin Academy.

I'll call it: "The Euler Identity"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nman130
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My partner said she saw a baby so cute her ovaries exploded. Baby wasn't even that cute. Talk about an ovary-action.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Bruce Willis will probably star in action movies for the rest of his career.

You know what they say about old habits...

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Mexican action figures are more than okay...

They're tan plastic.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Nobody96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
A Carl to action.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amadeupidentity
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Affirmative Action is heavily debated...

Because it isn't a black and white issue

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drmakneeo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
🚨︎ report
PMS is an ovary action.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
🚨︎ report
A group of vampires overthrew a farm using democratically-elected leaders. Their first course of action was to suck all the chickens dry.

It was a bloodless coop.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the captain get any action at the port?

He kept his log in his cabin.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2106au
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm going to move to West London. I'm really going to do it, I'm going to be a man of action.

Sorry, a man of Acton.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
T&G- A Piece of the Action tutandgroan.com/a-piece-o…
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Just heard this: I don't see an end to Bruce Willis's action career.

You know... Old habits Die Hard!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MADodds
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
[Spoiler] So, I heard Toys β€œR” Us is going to release a new TLJ Snoke Action Figure

but he will be released in two pieces

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Tamino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Probably my first love action dad joke

Driving back from getting groceries..

Son: It looks like we are almost home Daddy.

Dad: That's because we are almost home.

Son: How are we?

Dad: I'm fine, how are you?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CastorMorveer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Me: Did you watch that action film last night with Sylvester....

Friend: Stallone? Me: No it finished last night.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrScotty15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
🚨︎ report
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.

Now it's a washp

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/someredditorguy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad would ask where my action figure's brother was. When I was confused, he would reply...

"Well he's gotta be there somewhere: it says 'Hasbro' right on the box!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MistaSnowman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 433
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He wishes he was never Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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