No more Suez Canal jokes! SERIOUSLY! We are considering litigation. Apparently some guy named Ezra keeps posting those jokes...

...and if I can’t sue Ez, can Al?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I like litigation.

It's sue-per!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
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What do you call a crocodile that is an attorney?

A litigator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Just got a groan from my girlfriend...

I came in from having a cigarette and while closing the cumbersome sliding glass door I remarked, "Man that door is heavy!"

"I know," she says, "sometimes it pushes me back."

"That's terrible! Has it committed any other crimes against you?" I asked.

"No, but we should still sue it for everything it has though!" she said.

I grinned at her and offered, "It would probably just say it was framed."

She let out a quiet groan and flippantly said, "You're funny"

Edit: words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/score_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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What do you call lizard that throws trash on the ground?

A litigator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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What do you call an articulate alligator?

A litigator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stetil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2017
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Pad your repertoire with these
  1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
  2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
  3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
  4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
  5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
  6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
  7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
  8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
  9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
  10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
  11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
  12. PARADOX Two physicians
  13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
  14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
  15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
  16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
  17. RUBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
  18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
  19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
  20. PARADIGMS 20 cents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Crockett
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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My Buddy: "Yeah I don't really like the iPhone but I might go back to the Apple overlords for my next phone. You just can't beat their customer service."

Me: "Sure you can, they just start screaming and going on about assault and litigation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2016
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My dad just e-mailed me a list of definitions:
  1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

  2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

  3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

  4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

  5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

  6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

  7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

  8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

  9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

  10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

  11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

  12. PARADOX: Two physicians

  13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

  14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

  15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

  16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

  17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

  18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

  19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

  20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnideRemarkDept
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2013
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